Stealing Series 9 Scripts was the eleventh episode of Season 1 of The Fan Show, released on the Doctor Who YouTube Channel. Like other episodes of The Fan Show, it was split between a parodical narrative sequence and a short bit of reporting on real-life Doctor Who news, making it simultaneously a bit of invalid fiction and a documentary.
What's known about Series 9 so far?
Christel breaks into the "secret writing lair at the heart of a hideout volcano beneath 221B Baker Street" where Steven Moffat works, intent on stealing the scripts for Series 9 of Doctor Who. She manages to get in, but, after exploring some of the many rooms and trinkets in the complex, she hears someone coming in. She quickly hides in a cabinet only to be discovered by Moffat, and ends up imprisoned in his glass specimen pod, dressed as the Tenth Doctor.
- Christel uses her sonic screwdriver to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow of the security panel, to disengage the Hostile Action Displacement System, to neutralise the siege mode protocols, and to quantum-lock the underground lava pool. She then turns on the lights to scare off the Vashta Nerada.
- Moffat owns two bottles of formic acid among other chemicals, all kinds of Doctor Who memorabilia, and photographs of himself with several incarnations of the Doctor.
- Moffat has a "list of things kids are scared of" pinned to his wall, with some items crossed out based on whether he has already created a Doctor Who monster out of that thing: "statues" (Weeping Angels), "cracks in walls" (the Cracks in Time), "silence" (the Silence), "shadows" (the Vashta Nerada) and "things under the bed" (the "silent entity") are all crossed out, clowns and broccoli are not.
- Christel finds an item on the floor labeled Steven's ball of wibby wobby timey wimey stuff.
- A series of post-it notes on Moffat's wall read:
- "Shipping idea: the Doctor + Miss Hudson"
- "Lettuce monster"
- "The Terrible Zodin"
- "Madame Kovarian spin-off series?"
- "Remember Osgood is actually a Zygon now"
- "Mondassian Cybermen"
- "The Doctor's Mum"
- "Blink sequel: Blunk? Blonked?"
- "More Game of Thrones actors"
- "Ouija board Robert Holmes"
- "What is Magistrate?"
- "Decide what the round things are"
- "New New Paradigm Daleks"
- "13th Doctor = Joanna Lumley"
- "Sneaking Angels? Peeking Angels?"
- "Wholock: The Musical"
- "Fan Show Presenter = Definitely a girl"
- "Cancel The Fan Show" (Christel rips off this one and destroys it)
- The next episode of The Fan Show, Christel Gets Caught, was made up entirely of outtakes for the scene from the skit where Christel is confronted by Moffat.
- One of the notes seems to confirm the theory that the Osgood who survived Death in Heaven was the Zygon version.
- The "Press Gang: The Next Generation" post-it note is a reference to Press Gang, one of the series helmed by Moffat before he got onto Doctor Who.