- You may be looking for the skit featured on The Saturday Picture Show.
The Doctor and Clara arrive on the Enormous Storage Co. space station, a vessel built as part of the Great Storage Migration of 2122. Suddenly, a group of aliens enters the scene, and a man announces the galaxy's greatest auction. Two aliens, Eileen and Rana Salientia, argue over an earlier win by the latter.
A gigantic box is put up at the front of the room; creatures bid on the pod inside before seeing it. However, its owner was apparently Hyphen T Hyphen, a name which worries the Doctor. Scanning with the sonic screwdriver confirms the Time Lord's fears. He tries to warn the auctioneer not to allow the pod to open, but the man fails to heed this advice.
The Doctor gives the highest bid for the pod; however, as all his money is at the bank, the device instead goes to Rana, the next highest bidder. As the pod opens, a tentacle reaches out and grabs Rana, before the entire creature reveals itself. The Doctor recognises it as a Rigellan Hyper-Kraken, which "eats anything" - including the auction's innocent customers. He also recalls that Hyphen T Hyphen was a wealthy, stupid individual fascinated by exotic creatures.
In addition to the grown Kraken, there are several eggs which are a mere five minutes from hatching. According to the Doctor, they will consume everything nearby, both organic and inorganic, before going to Earth and getting the energy to breed...
The Doctor and Clara decide to stop any further killings and neutralise the eggs. Whilst Clara and the Auctioneer distract the Hyper-Kraken, the Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver on the machinery to begin a dimensional shunt, though not before the creature consumes Eileen.
Just as the eggs begin to hatch, the Doctor completes the dimensional shunt. This shifts both the creature and its eggs to a backwater world where they can eat everything in sight before going dormant. The bidders are disappointed about no longer having anything to bid on, but the Doctor points out that life is the only possession they truly need...
- A Bart Simpson look alike was eaten by the Rigellan Hyper-Kraken.
- Rana won a miniscope in a previous auction.
- The Doctor once dealt with a Krynoid for Hyphen T Hyphen.
- The storage pods are paid for using Grotzits.
- The auctioneer says "let the dog see the Slarvian".
Original print details Edit
- (Publication with page count and closing caption)
- DWM 484 (12 pages) The End
to be added