No Win, No Fez was a Doctor Who: The Eleventh Doctor comic story published in 2015.

Plot[edit | edit source]

The Doctor and River are watching an auction show on television. In the show, an expert is examining a Judoon's antique, he says that it could be sold for between two and four hundred Nargs. The Doctor remarks that he used to have "one of those", but River gave it to a charity shop. River defends herself by saying that it was ugly.

At this moment, a commercial begins that catches the Doctor's attention. A four-armed green alien addresses the audience, asking if the interference of a certain Time Lord has been causing them physical or emotional pain. He continues by asking the audience if they've been injured in one of the "never ending series of ego-massaging battles waged by a Time Lord". He concludes by saying that his law firm, Lawyers Against Time Lords are there to help.

The Doctor is outraged, although his companions see some reason in the advert. River admits that the Doctor causes a lot of destruction. Amy adds "especially to sheds".

The Doctor hears someone behind him calling Lawyers Against Time Lords. He's furious to discover that it's Rory. Rory explains that he's died many times on adventures with the Doctor. He says, "If anyone's entitled to compensation, it's me".

Characters[edit | edit source]

References[edit | edit source]

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Notes[edit | edit source]

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Original print details[edit | edit source]

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Continuity[edit | edit source]

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