"I Know a Fat Old Policeman" was a song sung by the Magic Mice and Colonel Fuzz as they killed Sergeant Appleby in the 1890s, to the tune of 'The Laughing Policemen'. (AUDIO: Encore of the Scorchies)

Original lyrics[edit | edit source]

I know a fat old police-man,
He's always on our street.
A fat and jolly red faced man,
He really is a treat.
He's too kind for a police-man.
He's never known to frown.
And everybody says he is the happiest man in town!
[Laughing Interlude]
He laughs upon point duty,
He laughs upon his beat.
He laughs at everybody when he's walking in the street.
He never can stop laughing,
He says he's never tried,
But once he did arrest a man and laughed until he died!
[Laughing Interlude]
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