He Kills Me, He Kills Me Not was the first of three special Big Finish Productions released in conjunction with the Time Lord Victorious series. It was written by Carrie Thompson and featured Paul McGann as the Eighth Doctor.
Looking to visit one of the Seven Hundred Wonders of the Universe, he’s quickly embroiled in a web of deceit. Worse than that, this Wonder of the Universe is missing, and the Doctor is about to encounter one of his most dangerous and duplicitous adversaries.
The Doctor is about to meet Brian.
Felicity and Sophie, two fugitives, are reached and attacked by Brian, an Ood assassin sent by Felicity's father. Felicity and Brian hurt each other in the following fight, leaving Sophie to escape unharmed.
The Eighth Doctor decides to go to Atharna, a water planet, to see a mighty statue - one of the Wonders of the Universe - but when he arrives, he finds out that Atharna has become a barren, desert planet. He stumbles across Felicity and Brian, who pretend to be the only survivors of a crashed spaceship after some pirates attacked them. The Doctor offers to help them reach the nearest town, Moslin, so they can be treated properly and cured.
Meanwhile, Sophie arrives at Moslin and meets the local Marshal, Katherine, and the bartender Samson. Sophie tells them that she is on the run from an assassin bent on killing her and her wife Felicity, and asks for help. Katherine orders Samson to hide her in the cellar of his tavern, as she prepares to welcome the assassin and make sure he doesn't harm her.
The Doctor, Felicity and Brian arrive in the town, and the Doctor leaves his two companions in the hands of the local doctor, Craddock, as he goes to inform the local authorities about the theft. While Craddock speaks to Katherine, he gathers Sophie is also there, hidden in the cellar, and makes her come out. Thinking she is another survivor of the attack, Craddock starts informing her about her "companions", but Sophie quickly reveals the truth: Felicity is an artificially born daughter of a wealthy man, who had her designed so she would love him more than anything else. After Felicity and Sophie fell in love and ran away, Felicity’s father sent Brian out to kill Sophie and bring Felicity back to him. The Doctor apologises and offers his help to save the girls from Brian.
In the meantime, Brian has snatched Felicity's gun, and threatens to harm her if she does not help him. Craddock then brings them to the tavern, where they also meet Katherine and Samson. Katherine informs them she sent the Doctor away - when he is actually hidden with Sophie in the cellar - and then tries to take the gun away from them. Brian, however, does not carry any weapons. The two travellers end up take one room for both, under the pretence Brian is Felicity's bodyguard, foiling Samson's attempt to keep them separated.
Brian and Felicity, despite Samson's attempts, end up in the same room. Brian, at the end of his patience, decides to kill Felicity. Meanwhile, the Doctor and Sophie head to the Sheriff's office, followed by the Sheriff herself, where they try to come up with a plan to rescue Felicity. At the office, the Doctor begins tinkering with everyone's heat shields as part of his half-baked plan. Craddock tags along later on, hoping to join in with helping Felicity and Sophie's situation.
Back at the tavern, Brian has Felicity apprehended, threatening harm on her when the phone rings. On the other end of the line is the Doctor, who makes a proposal to let Felicity go and asks to meet at the bar. Brian eventually joins the group, with Craddock talking with Brian in an attempt to get him to let go. Eventually everyone begins walking into the bar to show Brian that he's outnumbered, but this only leads Brian to believe that he has to kill the entire group. Craddock charges Brian, but this only leads to his death by the hands of "Mr Ball". However, burning through his shield drains the energy from his ball while Felicity was recaptured. Brian runs out of the tavern, with the Doctor and Katherine chasing after him back into the desert.
Brian reaches the Doctor's TARDIS before everyone else and attempts to open it without any success. Katherine wants to bring Brian to justice, but the Doctor instead offers to take Brian off world in exchange for Brian breaking his contract. Brian reluctantly agrees due to his translation sphere's energy draining, but the TARDIS begins going haywire. The Doctor and Brian jump in before it takes off, leaving everyone else behind. Felicity and Sophie catch up with Katherine and decides to stay on Atharna for a while to lie low.
Meanwhile in the TARDIS, the ship is spiralling out of control; while the Doctor tries to take Brian's hand, Brian is still attempting to kill him. The Doctor is unable to save him as Brian falls into the Time Vortex. The TARDIS stabilises and lands, but when the Doctor exits, a familiar voice informs him that he is a prisoner of the Daleks.
- The Doctor - Paul McGann
- Brian - Silas Carson
- Samson - Jack DeVos
- Katherine - Pauline Eyre
- Felicity - Misha Malcolm
- Craddock - Martin McDougall
- Sophie - Melanie Stevens
- The Daleks - Nicholas Briggs
- The Doctor mentions that one of the Wonders of the Universe is the Gallery of the Six-of-One King, which apparently only existed for ten minutes and he has already visited twice.
to be added
- Katherine rhetorically asks if the Doctor was raised in a barn. (TV: Listen)
- The Doctor mentions the Sense Sphere when talking to Brian. (TV: The Sensorites)