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He Jests at Scars... was the fourth Doctor Who Unbound audio story produced by Big Finish Productions. This was the first story not to feature an alternate Doctor, instead featuring Michael Jayston reprising his role as the Valeyard, whom he had last played in 1986's The Ultimate Foe. Bonnie Langford also reprised her role of Melanie Bush. However, like other characters in the Unbound series, these reprisals were of alternate versions of their characters, changed by the scenario presented in the story. The events shown here touch upon what might have happened if the Valeyard had won his trial against the Sixth Doctor and then stole his remaining regenerations.

Publisher's summary[]

What if... the Valeyard had won?

The thing about meddling with time is that one moment something is real, the next, it's been erased. Probability becomes just a possibility. Established truth becomes a theoretical falsehood. Like dominoes, as one timeline falls, the others come cascading down around it. You can engineer new timelines, new possibilities, but before long, the distinction between what is, what was, what might be and what never can be becomes blurred.

Out of this grow myths, lies and legends. The Doctor was one such legend, but no one knows whether he truly ever existed. Well, not now they don't. The Mighty One, ruling the multiverses from the eternal city of Chronopolis, has made sure of that.


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  • The title is a reference to the line from William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet: "He jests at scars, that never felt a wound.", which is quoted directly in and thematically relevant to the story. The title of the previous Doctor Who Unbound audio, Full Fathom Five, was also a Shakespearean quotation. Both stories are also about dark and tragic versions of the Doctor.
  • This story marked the first appearance of the Valeyard in an audio drama. Jayston later reprises the role in AUDIO: Trial of the Valeyard in 2014.
  • This audio drama was recorded on 26 June 2003.
  • The Valeyard mentions Hex and C'rizz among the companions with whom the Doctor might have travelled. This foreshadows their respective introductions in The Harvest and The Creed of the Kromon.
  • This story was originally released on CD. It is now available as a download only.


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