The Celestial Omnibus, sometimes known as Iris Wildthyme's TARDIS, among other names, was a Time Machine of conflicting origin, which resembled a red London double decker bus, specifically the Number 22 to Putney Common.
The Celestial Omnibus used the Time Vortex (PROSE: The Scarlet Empress, et al) and The Maelstrom (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme, From Wildthyme with Love, Elementary, My Dear Sheila) to travel through space-time.
Appearance[edit | edit source]
Exterior[edit | edit source]
The Celestial Omnibus took the form of a red double decker bus - The 1963 AEG Routemaster RML with non-standard concertinaing doors - to be precise. There was also a flap on the side of the cab to allow Panda to climb in with ease.
Interior[edit | edit source]
According to one source, the bus was not actually smaller than other TARDISes, but instead most of its interior dimensions were used to store water. (PROSE: Verdigris) However, by some accounts, the bus actually got its water from a space-time link to a Canadian lake in 1924. (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme, The Scarlet Empress)
The inside looked like a modified double-decker bus, though with a few hints of its true nature. (PROSE: Old Flames) The controls were on the dashboard, which resembled those of the Doctor's TARDIS during his eighth incarnation (PROSE: The Scarlet Empress), as they were a mixture of brass and wooden fittings, a radio, with an ancient black and white television set hanging from the ceiling. (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme)
According to some accounts, the controls had more of a similarity to a conventional bus, instead of a TARDIS console, including spark plugs, an engine, a brake lever, (PROSE: Iris Wildthyme and the Unholy Ghost), a steering wheel, and an ignition. (AUDIO: The Iris Wildthyme Appreciation Society) There was also a ticket machine. (PROSE: Just the Ticket)
Despite this more conventional appearance, the Omnibus still had unconventional technology inside it, such as a time motor, (PROSE: Iris Wildthyme and the Unholy Ghost) and a device that can hone in on a person's bio-rhythm. (AUDIO: Wildthyme at Large)
The lower floor of the Omnibus contained a kitchenette, (PROSE: The Scarlet Empress) sometimes referred to as a galley kitchen, (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme) which included a kettle. (PROSE: Bafflement and Devotion)
Also on the lower floor of the Omnibus, there was a bookcase crammed with paperbacks and star charts. There was a settee and a bar stool. The windows were covered by curtains and blinds, and the interior of the Omnibus was illuminated by soft, warm lamps. (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme) There was also an Art Deco drinks cabinet (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme, Old Flames), a chaise lounge, an Ormolu clock, straps that dangle from the ceiling, (PROSE: Deleted Scene from 'Iris Wildthyme and the Key Lime Pie 2 Time' - 'Part 3: The Stones of Blood') a cassette player, a cupboard (which once housed a dishwasher), and a clothes horse. (PROSE: Iris Wildthyme and the Unholy Ghost) Around the Omnibus, there were mock tigerskin pillows strewn about. (AUDIO: The Iris Wildthyme Appreciation Society)
There was also record player and a rack of records, including some by Tammy Wynette. (PROSE: Future Legend) Iris also had a collection of tapes, including a Geoff Love rendition of the Doctor Who theme (PROSE: Bafflement and Devotion), and various songs by Shirley Bassey (PROSE: Bafflement and Devotion, Enter Wildthyme), Vince Cosmos, Lady Marmalade (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme), and Neil Sedaka. (PROSE: Iris Wildthyme and the Unholy Ghost)
Upstairs, there was a sonic shower, wardrobes (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme, The Scarlet Empress) and another bookcase, this one filled with Iris' diaries. (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme) There was also a trunk filled with Iris' prized possessions. (PROSE: Just the Ticket)
History[edit | edit source]
When the Obverse was altered to be a bit more steampunk, the Omnibus was transformed into an airship. (PROSE: Flasket Brinner and the Clockwork Heart et al) On one occasion, a member of Faction Paradox fused Panda with the airship. (PROSE: Panda and the Airship)
In the 42nd century, when Iris Wildthyme became a cultural phenomenon, there was an action figure set called the Twenty-two fourteen bus playset, which was based off the Omnibus. (AUDIO: The Iris Wildthyme Appreciation Society)
Fate of the Omnibus[edit | edit source]
In a possible future, Iris had changed into Bianca — Iris' own version of the Valeyard. Bianca converted her breaking-down TARDIS into a nightclub, planning to snare Iris and take her remaining regenerations. The Sixth Doctor used his own TARDIS as a time ram to destroy the club. (AUDIO: The Wormery)
Iris once rammed the bus into the City of the Saved's sealed Uptime Gate to save her companions from the Civil War. The fate of Iris and the bus was uncertain, (PROSE: A Hundred Words from a Civil War) but Cortalian once auctioned off a piece of timeship in the shape of a passenger bus gear shift which had been blasted down into history after colliding with the City. (PROSE: Going Once, Going Twice)
Near the end of the universe, the PussyWorlders discovered the burnt out remnants of the Omnibus abandoned in the ruins of a Hyspero car park. They were unable to use it, as it seemed dead, but managed to snap off a loose piece of the drive system. (PROSE: Future Legend, Just the Ticket)
Undated events[edit | edit source]
Behind the scenes[edit | edit source]
Perhaps coincidentally, the number 22 to Putney Common appeared briefly in the opening scenes of Rose, the only time an allusion to the Celestial Omnibus or Iris Wildthyme has been made on television to date. On the original cover of Iris Wildthyme and the Polythene Terror published in 2019, the design of the Celestial Omnibus matched that featured in Rose with two identical adverts for The Lion King.