Cinema Introduction to The Day of the Doctor (theatrical film)

Cinema Intros: The Doctor / Strax was an intro that was shown in cinemas exclusively with The Day of the Doctor. The first scene starred Dan Starkey as Strax and the second featured Matt Smith and David Tennant as the Doctor.

This marks the first exclusive-to-cinema story since Daleks' Invasion Earth 2150 A.D. in 1966. Both scenes majorly break the fourth wall to speak directly to cinema audiences.

Steven Moffat would write a sequel to this, Strax Saves the Day, for the Doctor Who: Lockdown! event with Dan Starkey as Strax introducing an internet watchalong of The Day of the Doctor.

Synopsis
Strax gets ready to watch a movie with his clone batch whilst the Eleventh Doctor arrives late and sees two of his previous incarnations.

Strax
Commander Strax appears before an army of his fellow Sontarans who are sat down to watch the feature. Greeting his "puny human" audience, Strax informs them that, in advance of the anniversary movie, the Doctor has wisely entrusted him with briefing them on cinema etiquette. Strax introduces his clone batch behind him, who he has invited to the screening, bringing light of his race's capability for exemplary levels of rapt attention, having been drilled in basic concentration as long as they can remember, totalling a week. In contrast, however, Strax reveals that he is well aware that "feeble human minds are not so disciplined." Demonstrating the effects of "unruly viewing practices", Strax presents an "insubordinate fool" who attempted to "activate a communications channel" during the last screening to his command post codenamed "Fury1", actually Fiona as Strax is informed by the human "scum" only for Strax to order him silent, making it clear that no active phones are allowed in the viewing platforms, ordering the audience to "switch [their] communication devices to silent." Strax then brings attention to a victim with a "primitive 3D technology" who sat too close the front during an appearance by the Eleventh Doctor, demonstrating that his audience should take comfort in the fact that the Doctor's "gigantic chin" will only be in two dimensions during his screening. Strax points out that talking during the film is also "a crime" and that a minimum volume must be maintained during the consumption of fluids and nutrition packs before presenting a "feeble specimen" who proves that, "while cloning Sontarans is a magnificent duty", attempting to clone a "cultural broadcast" with recording equipment is "the greatest of all war crimes... but that's still no excuse!", before confiscating her camera phone which he gives to a fellow Sontaran whom he orders to dispose of the device.

However, Strax admits that, despite these transgressions, there are some human habits that the Sontarans could learn from. Pulling out a bag of popcorn, Strax notes that he particularly approves of the human tradition of "mercilessly exploding these puny corn creatures and feasting on their popped remains." Taking a single popcorn, Strax reminds his audience that "popcorn can feel pain" before slowly devouring his popcorn while savouring "those tiny screams." It is at this moment that Strax observes that the film is starting, expecting that his clone brothers who had travelled many light-years for this privilege will revel at this "glorious piece of Sontaran historical drama" only to be informed by a human female that it isn't about him. Strax insists to the "boy" that he has read the plot summary which promises "a campaign in Medieval England, an invasion of modern London, and a battle on Gallifrey: a heroic account of the military campaigns of Commander Linx, General Staal, and Commander Stor." Strax is informed, however, that the feature, for which he has invited his whole clone batch, is about the Doctor and not the Sontarans, voicing disbelief that anybody could endure a whole film about "that pink weasel's antics" with all the shouting, emotions, and incomprehensible explanations. Despite his predicament, Strax notes that "a wise Sontaran always has another tactic up his armoured sleeve." Pressing a switch on his wrist armour that activates an alarm, Strax announces to his clone batch that they will now undergo an emergency drill, rallying all troops to prepare for an "audio-visual assault featuring baffling levels of compassion and romance, multiple Doctors in all their fleshy pink horror and iredeemable acts of mercy and kindness." before ordering that the film start playing for the glory of the Sontaran Empire.

The Doctor
Arriving late, the Eleventh Doctor makes his greetings to a blank screen before quickly realising his mistake as he turns the right way, facing the audience to whom he enthusiastically welcomes to the "hundredth anniversary special of Doctor Who, in 12D!", under the mistaken belief that he is in the year 2063. The Doctor is quickly corrected as he is informed that he is infact presenting the 2013 50th anniversary special in 3D. Apologising to the audience, the Doctor explains that he had got confused after time travelling having just watched the hundredth anniversary special featuring "all 57 Doctors". He concedes that 3D is "good, too", before calling on the audience to "activate [their] 3D spectacles. Before the audience enters "the third dimension", which is "frankly slow by [the Doctor's] standards", the Doctor makes a safety check, warning the audience that there are "very hungry" Zygons in the building. He informs the audience however, that their spectacles have been fitted with Zygon detectors, instructing them to turn to face the person next to them and look into each other's eyes. To activate the Zygon detector, they will need to close one eye then look into the spectacles they are facing, at which point the Doctor regrettably informs the audience that one of the lenses they are facing being black is the sign that the person they are facing is a Zygon who will eat them during the movie. In which case, the Doctor advises that that the viewer not panic so as to not disturb the rest of the audience as there is nothing that can be done to save them. Having warned the audience of incoming Zygons, the Doctor announces that it is time to go 3D before proceeding to point and activate his sonic screwdriver at the screen.

It is at this point the Eleventh Doctor's image shifts to that of his immediate predecessor, the Tenth Doctor, who takes over to caution the audience to watch out for "the chin", reminding them that 3D "can make things stick out of the screen a bit" before advising them to duck as he returns to the Eleventh Doctor who notes that, as the audience might have noticed, the increased definition of 3D brings notice to "all those lines, and creases, and crinkly bits" which is all part of "stereoscopic vision", at which point the Tenth Doctor reappears as the Doctor's image splits in two. The awkward silence resulting from a quip from the Tenth Doctor about adding "a third dimension" is cut short by the humble materialisation of the War Doctor, who appears behind the two Doctors with his back to them and the audience. The mood of the two Doctors quickly turns solemn, with the Eleventh Doctor posing the question to the audience - "Doctor who?" - as the view slowly closes in on the War Doctor before the image fades out, leading to the start of the feature.

Scene 1

 * Strax - Dan Starkey

Scene 2

 * Eleventh Doctor - Matt Smith
 * Tenth Doctor - David Tennant
 * War Doctor - John Hurt

Crew
Rest to be added.
 * Writer - Steven Moffat

Worldbuilding
to be added

Story notes

 * The Sontaran "historical drama", featuring the campaigns of Linx, Staal and Stor, is a reference to TV: The Time Warrior, The Sontaran Stratagem/The Poison Sky and The Invasion of Time respectively.
 * Strax describes the Doctor as a "pink weasel"; in The Sontaran Stratagem, the Tenth Doctor acknowledged that, while General Staal looked like a baked potato to the human Ross Jenkins, he would look like a "pink weasel" to the Sontaran.
 * The army of Sontarans sitting in a cinema behind Strax in one of the scenes are added in via VFX effects.