Salad Daze (comic story)

Salad Daze was a Sixth Doctor comic strip published in Doctor Who Magazine. It was largely a pastiche of Alice in Wonderland.

Summary
Peri Brown has put the Sixth Doctor on a strict healthy diet of vegetables and fruits in order for him to lose weight. Accidentally activating the Doctor's personal reality warp, Peri finds herself having to deal with vegetables on another level entirely.

Plot
The Sixth Doctor is singularly unimpressed by the salads Peri Brown has made for them to eat. He yearns for a bit of junk food. Peri is having none of it, proclaiming it's strictly fruits and vegetables for him until he loses his paunch.

Peri notices a device the Doctor has been tinkering with. She asks him about it. He explains it's a personal reality warp, a device that transports the user to a vacant parallel dimension and populates it with a world based on his thoughts. Peri is sceptical, but her line of questioning is interrupted by a beeping noise; Frobisher is summoning the Doctor to the console room. Warning Peri not to touch the personal reality warp while he's away, the Doctor heads off.

Peri puts down the book she's been reading — an omnibus edition of Alice in Wonderland stories — and takes a closer look at the personal reality warp, certain that the Doctor was having her on about the nature of the device. Accidentally activating it, Peri finds herself warped to a forest; she is in a dimension modelled on Alice in Wonderland. She is dressed as Alice and unable to remember what happened or how she got there. A tall rabbit with curly hair, umbrella, fob watch and the Doctor's patchwork coat hops past, shouting about being late for a very important date. Peri cannot figure out why he looks familiar.

Peri encounters two rotund beings with "Dum" and "Dee" written on their shirt collars. Peri assumes they must have "Tweedle" written round the backs, but is unsure where that idea came from. Peri notices they are large turnips, who proceed to recite a poem called "The Walnut and the Cauliflower" which seems to be about vegetables. She makes her excuses and departs, convinced she must be having a bad dream.

Carefully passing a giant, snoring red cabbage so as not to wake it, she finds herself in a clearing where a tea party is taking place. Seated at the table and pouring tea are a giant carrot, tomato, and celery. The carrot is offended when Peri calls it a carrot. Before she can stop herself she explains that she ought to know what a carrot is; she's eaten enough of them. The party is horrified that Peri eats vegetables and she runs off into the forest once again.

Peri runs into the Queen of Artichokes and the King and Knave of Spuds. The Queen sentences Peri to beheading for the heinous crime of eating vegetables. The rabbit passes by again, holding hands with a smiling vegetable and taunting Peri for upsetting the Queen. Just before the Spuds carry out her sentence, Peri screams an apology and promises never to eat vegetables again. Opening her eyes at the Doctor's voice, she finds herself back in the TARDIS in her own clothes. Peri hugs the Doctor, grateful that he's not a rabbit anymore. The Doctor asks Peri if she touched the personal reality warp, but she insists she just fell asleep. He suggests they finish their dinner, but Peri is suddenly horrified by the plates of salad. She leaves to fix them some burgers and chips instead. The Doctor looks down at the personal reality warp and smiles to himself.

Characters

 * Sixth Doctor
 * Peri Brown

Continuity

 * The Sixth Doctor previously swore to Peri that he'd stick to a strictly vegetarian diet. (TV: The Two Doctors)