Gallifrey Academy Report (feature)

Gallifrey Academy Report was a parodical prose piece in Dicky Howett and Tim Quinn's The Doctor Who Fun Book. Not strictly speaking a story, it took the form of a copy of the Doctor's school report at the Time Lord Academy, but, unconcerned with continuity, was written to suggest that it was the Fourth Doctor who had attended the Academy, his activities in the needlecraft class apparently being the origins of the Doctor's scarf.

Going by the Report, the Doctor's classes at the Academy were Mathematics (the Doctor's maths "were all Greek" to his teacher), Greek (the Doctor's Greek "was all mathematics" to his teacher), Art (where the Doctor did brilliantly, but only by bringing in what his teacher doesn't realise are famous historical works from Earth and passing them off as his own work, such as the Mona Lisa), History (which it was impossible to test him on reliably, because he kept nipping back in Time to change it to accord to his earlier, erroneous answers), Geography (he got lost on the way to the exam), Latin (he had a bad habit of bringing Julius Caesar into the classroom), Music (he played an out-of-tune recorder in the school orchestra), Needlecraft (he somehow ended knitting a 35-foot-long scarf) and Biology ("his hearts just aren't into it").

Characters

 * Fourth Doctor
 * Julius Caesar