Living Legend (audio story)

Living Legend was a short story written by Scott Gray. It features the Eighth Doctor. The story was originally published as the first half of an audio CD included with DWM 337, and was later re-released as a free download on the Big Finish Productions website.

Publisher's summary
The world faces imminent destruction when Italy wins the World Cup! Can the fabled Time Lady Charleyostiantayshius save humanity from the dreaded Threllip Empire, or will her idiot assistant, the Doctor, ruin everything?

Plot
The Doctor and Charley arrive in Italy, 1982, and find the streets are full of people celebrating. Asking a local what's going on reveals that Italy has just won the world cup against West Germany- Charley dismissed this is as football, and so unimportant, but the Doctor says that the whole of Italy will be celebrating. Following some strange signals that the Doctor picked up leads them to a wood, where they see aliens with arms as thick as tree trunks. One is Captain Vengorr, who is going through a checklist with Thon. The discussion devolves into one on destiny, with Vengorr claiming that Thon doesn't have enough imagination to understand the concept, as he was set to do this job the moment he was plucked from his birthing tank, being only a D stream gene Class. Thon corrects him, saying he is actually C stream. Vengorr discussed his dreams of colonisation and serving his empire.

The Doctor and Charley back away carefully, and the Doctor explains that if the aliens- Threllips- get their transdimensional portal up and running, their people will invade. Charley suggests distracting them while the Doctor goes into their ship, but he dissuades her of this plan, due to the Threllips' guns. Instead, he proclaims "great expectations". They go back to the TARDIS, which then materialises in front of the Threllips, and out steps the Doctor, claiming to be a humble transcriber with greetings from Gallifrey's High Council. He then introduces the most exalted Time Lady Charleyostiantayshius, and says they are there on an observation mission. They are both wearing Time Lord robes.

Thon and Vengorr discuss whether or not to believe they pose a threat, and are at a disagreement. They question the Doctor, threatening him with their guns, but Charley interrupts by scolding the Doctor for making contact with them, who responds that he couldn't help it; he had to meet the famous war hero Vengorr the First. This flattery works, especially when Charley expands on it by telling Vengorr that it is his upcoming invasion of Earth that leads to a turning point in the Threllip empire's evolution. The Doctor then tells him that the commander of the invasion falls ill, leading him to take control, marking him as a hero. He then offers (despite Charley's further scolding for intervening) to show him some of Earth's citizens, since they will be the first slaves of the new empire. He accepts.

As the Doctor apologises for his excitement, Charley tells Thon to hurry up with his duties. He says he has worked for Vengorr for 32 years, and asks her how he is remembered in history. She replies that, though she has read all 56 volumes of Vengorr's personal memoirs, she remembers no mention of any Thon. This shocks him. Meanwhile, the Doctor convinces Vengorr that the Italians' party is a plague called "World Cup Fever" that many continents have fallen to. A man talks to Vengorr, and he throws the man. The Doctor covers his worry for the human by telling Vengorr that the plague is spread by touch, hence his horror at throwing the local.

The Doctor says that Threllips are not immune to the plague, and panics that this isn't supposed to happen, but then takes Vengorr to a 'clinic' nearby. He claims he is giving him a vaccine but is actually feeding him bottles of alcohol. Back in the woods, Thon is getting angry about not being remembered after working for Vengorr for so long. His anger is fuelled when Charley says there was actually a mention of a 'Thon'- a furry wartsnoggler that was given to Vengorr as a gift, which he named Thon.

As the Doctor gets Vengorr drunk, Charley tells Thon how the pet was laughed at, following Vengorr everywhere. Thon is very upset, insulting Vengorr upon his and the Doctor's return. The pair of Threllips fight while the Doctor edits the transdimensional portal's coordinates. Charley then tells everyone off for meddling in the course of history, threatening the Doctor with punishment of a couple centuries scrubbing the TARDIS floor with a toothbrush. She says that Vengorr and Thon- who would have been infected by the fight- must return home immediately and receive proper medical treatment. The Doctor sets the coordinates on the transdimensional portal, and the pair are sent through the portal.

The Doctor tells Charley that he actually sent them to the 17th moon of Mordalius prime, and she orders him to dismantle all the alien machinery before they party. He says she makes a much more convincing time lord than he does, but that isn't really a compliment.

Cast

 * The Doctor - Paul McGann
 * Charley Pollard - India Fisher
 * Vengorr - Stephen Perring
 * Thon - Conrad Westmaas

Crew

 * Producers - Gary Russell & Jason Haigh-Ellery
 * Music & Sound Design - Simon Robinson
 * Cover Art - Adrian Salmon
 * Director - Gary Russell
 * Executive Producer - Jacqueline Rayner
 * Writer - Scott Gray

Worldbuilding

 * Charley mentions the Web of Time.
 * The Doctor and Charley dress in Time Lord robes.
 * Wartsnogglers are rat-like creatures that the Threllips keep as pets.
 * Mordelius Prime has at least seventeen moons.
 * The Doctor speaks some Italian.
 * The Doctor mentions Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.

Continuity

 * The Doctor tells Charley that he witnessed the VE Day celebrations on 8 May 1945. (AUDIO: Casualties of War)
 * During their visit to Light City in the Divergent Universe, the Doctor and Charley's memories were contributed to the pool of information used to programme the Proles. An edited version of their encounter with the Threllips was included in an infotainment broadcast which the Proles were obligated to watch. (AUDIO: The Natural History of Fear)