Blithe Pinking Shears

The Blithe Pinking Shears were a pair of magical pinking shears which could cut through the Very Fabric of Time and Space. (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme) They could be used to travel to any time and place in the multiverse. (PROSE: Mad Dogs and Englishmen, Enter Wildthyme)

Iris Wildthyme described the pinking shears as a "most deadly ancient object [that was] heinous in the wrong hands". (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme)

Noël Coward thought that they were "much less unwieldy than a TARDIS". (PROSE: Mad Dogs and Englishmen) However, the shears caused "untold havoc" to time. (PROSE: The Scarlet Shadow) The damage they caused to the Very Fabric was permanent. (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme)

History
The shears were originally owned by Iris Wildthyme. In her Brenda Soobie incarnation, she gifted them to Noël Coward. Coward used the shears to mess with time and allow himself to become a jack of all trades. The Very Fabric came to be filled with over a thousand Noël Cowards all using the shears to travel to different times and places.

During the events surrounding Princess Margaret's scheme to rewrite The True History of Planets, Coward used the shears to bring the Eighth Doctor, Char, William Freer, Anji Kapoor, and Fritter to dogworld. After Margaret was defeated, Coward used the shears to bring them to Las Vegas in 1960. (PROSE: Mad Dogs and Englishmen)

Coward was joined by Marlene Dietrich in his adventures through time and space. (PROSE: The Dreadful Flap, The Scarlet Shadow) After they both retired from their travels, Noël kept the shears with him. When Coward encountered Dracula in 1962 Darlington, he used the shears to kill Dracula, accidentally creating the Dreadful Flap in the process. (PROSE: The Dreadful Flap)

Iris Wildthyme took the pinking shears and kept them in her 1973 South Kensington office, where they were stolen by Anthony Marvelle. Marvelle used the shears to travel through the multiverse and collect everything he needed to open the Ringpull and get into the Obverse. On Valcea, he used the shears to break the windows of the Celestial Omnibus and steal Iris' charts. (PROSE: Enter Wildthyme) After all of Marvelle's plans involving the Obverse went awry, he used the shears escape Hyspero with Missy. (PROSE: Wildthyme Beyond!)

The Manleigh Halt Irregulars once had an adventure involving the Poodles and the pinking shears. (PROSE: The Delightful Bag)