Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (TV story)

"Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" is the first episode in the second series of Torchwood.

Synopsis
Captain John Hart, an old friend of Captain Jack Harkness, appears through the rift and causes problems for the Torchwood team.

Plot
It is midnight on a lonely Cardiff street. As an old woman approaches a crossing with traffic lights, a red Chrysler Crossfire sports car races through Cardiff, driven by an alien Blowfish. As the traffic lights go red, he stops and impatiently urges the old lady to cross the street. The Torchwood SUV stops and asks the lady if she saw the Blowfish; she points them in the right direction; after they've gone, she mutters, "Bloody Torchwood!" The team catch up with the blowfish and after a short chase, Owen shoots the tires, forcing the Blowfish to leave the car. He flees into a home where he shoots a resident and holds another hostage. The team hold him at gunpoint and the Blowfish taunts them and dares Ianto to shoot him, but Ianto hesitates. A shot is heard, killing the Blowfish. When Ianto turns around, he sees Jack, who fired the shot. He greets the team with the words, "Hey kids, did ya miss me?"

When they return to Torchwood, the team want to know where Jack has gone, but he once again keeps them in the dark. He only tells them that he has seen the right doctor. When asked by Ianto why he returned he says he "came back for you (Ianto)", but then widens this statement to include the whole team. Tosh notices that there has been Rift activity.

Meanwhile, a man, Captain John Hart, walks through the Rift at the top floor of a multi-storey car park. He notices a man is held at knife-point, and intervenes by grabbing the mugger's throat and holding him over the edge. The man pleads with Hart to stop, but he says "no" and drops him to his death. Hart then turns to the victim and tells him that he was never here, and to go. Hart then goes to a nightclub and tells everyone who he finds unnattractive to leave before pulling out two side-arms in front of the bouncers, causing everyone to panic and run out.

Torchwood Three sees the body of the dead mugger on the street and Tosh notices traces of Rift energy from his neck. Jack then gets a message on his wrist device, where a hologram appears of Hart telling him to come to the nightclub, alone. He does, but the rest of his team follow him in a taxi. When Jack arrives in the club, he and Hart approach each other and kiss, but then proceed to fight. They then stop for a drink. Hart tells him that the Time Agency is gone, and that he has been to several rehabs for drink, drugs, sex and murder. Hart sees the others and realises that Jack has a new team now, called Torchwood. Jack explains that Hart was his partner. Hart also tells the rest of the team more about Jack than Jack himself said. He then asks the question "What are you doing here?" He then says that it was about time he would ask the question. Hart says that there are three deadly radiation cluster bombs scattered over Cardiff that could endanger everyone on Earth.



They enter Torchwood Three station and John is checked for weapons. He has many, including several concealed knives and pistols, detected by Gwen. Jack takes Gwen to the side to tell her he has seen the end of the world. He then shows signs of having fallen for Gwen, and jealousy when he realises Gwen is going to marry Rhys because "nobody else would have her", but he covers this up by saying they should go "back to work". Tosh finds the locations of three bombs all over the city. Gwen organises the team to go searching for the bombs in teams of two; Jack and Ianto, Owen and Tosh, and Gwen and Hart. Jack has problems with this and talks to Gwen alone. Gwen explains that she could get to know Hart better and to learn what he is really up to. Jack agrees and gives Gwen three rules on how to handle Hart: she should keep him in front of her at all times, she should never trust him and she should not let him kiss her.

The teams splits up and Gwen and Hart are in the container docks. After some flirting from Hart, they find a cluster bomb in a container. However, once Gwen has it, Hart kisses her. Gwen realises that he has paralysed her with the kiss. Hart throws away her phone and tells Gwen she has two hours before her organs shut down and she dies. He then runs away.

Meanwhile, Owen and Tosh are in an abandoned building and find the bomb, but Hart arrives, knocks out Tosh and shoots Owen in the hip.

Jack and Ianto are in an office building searching for the other bomb, where Jack asks Ianto out on a date. He explains that John Hart is someone reminding him of his past and wants to be done with him. Ianto accepts. They then split up, while Jack goes to the roof. Ianto hears a noise and then realises it is Hart, holding him at gunpoint. Hart tells Ianto that Owen and Gwen are in trouble and he gets him to run to rescue them.

Jack finds the last cluster bomb and is confronted by Hart again. Hart wants the cluster bomb, but Jack refuses. Hart wants Jack to join him running the Galaxy. Jack admits he isn't tempted, and throws the bomb over the edge. Hart then pushes Jack off the roof to another of his "deaths". Hart gets the remaining bomb and tells the "dead" Jack that murder rehab never worked. He then goes back to the Hub.

Ianto goes to Owen and helps Tosh dress his wound. They then go to the docks and eventually find Gwen just in time and inject her with an anti-toxin, after running tests, on Tosh's laptop, and finding that Hart had poisoned her.

At dawn, Hart goes to the corpse of the Blowfish, who worked for him, and takes out a small pyramid shaped object. He is then suprised to see the rest of the team, holding him at gunpoint, and even more surprised to see Jack, who then explains that he is immortal. Hart then tells the truth; there are no cluster bombs. He was looking for an Arcadian diamond that belonged to a lover of his once, but he killed her. The "bombs" are actually a device that would lead him to the location of the diamond. However, the woman's hologram says there is no diamond. A device shoots into Hart's chest, and the hologram explains that the device is a bomb that locks into the DNA of whoever killed her and it can't be removed. There are ten minutes until the bomb goes off, but Hart cuffs himself to Gwen. She has a plan that would kill her and Hart, but would save the city. Tosh says that the Rift is still open from Hart's arrival. Gwen takes Hart there, but Jack and Owen stay behind and quickly work on a solution.

They arrive at the car park, quickly followed by Jack and Owen, who inject Hart with the DNA of all Torchwood members, which will temporarily confuse the bomb. The bomb releases itself and they throw it through the Rift, with just one second to spare. Just as it explodes, they are shifted back in time to the same moment Hart arrived. Hart, impressed, agrees to let Gwen go and reluctantly agrees to go back home. Before he disappears, he says, "By the way, I found Gray". Jack, shocked, is asked who or what "Gray" is. He just says that it is nothing.

Cast

 * Captain Jack Harkness - John Barrowman
 * Gwen Cooper - Eve Myles
 * Owen Harper - Burn Gorman
 * Toshiko Sato - Naoko Mori
 * Ianto Jones - Gareth David-Lloyd
 * Captain John Hart - James Marsters
 * Rhys Williams - Kai Owen
 * PC Andy Davidson - Tom Price
 * Old Woman - Menna Trussler
 * Blowfish - Paul Kasey
 * Mugger - Crispin Layfield
 * Victim - Nathan Ryan
 * Hologram Woman - Inika Leigh Wright
 * Teenage Girl - Sarah Whyte
 * Bouncer - Robert Stone (uncredited)

Music

 * Mao Tse Tung Said - Alabama 3
 * Song 2 - Blur

Story notes

 * According to his memoir Doctor Who: The Writer's Tale, Russell T Davies was originally scheduled to write this episode, but the job was passed on to Chris Chibnall. Davies conceived the opening segment of the episode featuring the blowfish and the sports car.

Ratings

 * Official BARB ratings - 4.22 million viewers
 * Overnight - 3.7 million viewers
 * Edited repeat - 1.1 million viewers
 * Appreciation Index - 84/100

Myths
to be added

Filming locations
to be added

Continuity

 * Gray is later revealed to be Jack's brother, whom he lost when aliens attacked the Boeshane Peninsula and captured him. Gray would also serve as one of the main story-arcs of the second series.
 * Jack says that he left because he found "the right sort of Doctor", referring to the Doctor, and also says he saw the "end of the world" (referring to events in DW: Utopia, The Sound of Drums and Last of the Time Lords). His comments to Gwen stating that he feels he belongs with Torchwood are consistent with his final words to the Doctor in Last of the Time Lords.
 * John Hart would return in Fragments and Exit Wounds.

Home video releases

 * This story along with the rest of Torchwood Series 2 was released in a complete series boxset.