The Mindless Ones (audio story)

The Mindless Ones was the first story in the audio anthology Purity Undreamed, produced by Big Finish Productions. It was written by Paul Magrs and featured Colin Baker as the Sixth Doctor, Bonnie Langford as Melanie Bush, Ruth Madeley as Hebe Harrison and Cherylee Houston as Elise Kaplan and introduced Toby Hadoke as Ron and Imogen Stubbs as Patricia McBride.

Publisher's summary
The Doctor, Mel and Hebe visit Sheffield at the behest of Hebe's best friend, Elise, but Elise has undergone a disturbing transformation. The mysterious Mindless Facility claims to be able to change you for the better - but who decides what that is?

Joining forces with anthropologist Professor Patricia McBride, can the Doctor and his friends save Britain from an insidious alien threat?

Part one
Although Elise has completed her treatment, she returns to Mr Betterment at the Mindless Facility and confesses that she is worried about what Hebe will think of her now that she has changed. Mr Betterment asks to meet Hebe should she visit so that he can explain to her how things are going to be.

The TARDIS materialises at Sheffield Hallam University and Hebe goes to find Elise whilst the Doctor and Mel find the source of a strange reading using a bleeping machine. The reading leads them to a futuristic building where, whilst they wait, the Doctor reminisces about how he wasted his time at the Academy and how he needs to take stock of his life.

Professor Patricia McBride is called in by Ron, the dean and her former partner, to address complaints made about her attitude towards undergraduate students, but she refuses to go easier on them or to take a retraining course at the Mindless Facility. She agrees to think about it, however, when Ron offers to exempt her from undergraduate teaching requirements next semester.

Hebe arrives at Elise's office, a month after her call, and is surprised at how different she looks. Elise gives her her latest pamphlet, entitled Buttercups and Daisies, and invites her to a party at her house to meet her husband.

Whilst the Doctor goes with Mr Betterment to his office for a talk, Mel waits in the Mother Theresa Coffee Lounge and meets Patricia, who has come for a coffee after seeing the dramatic change in a student who attended the Mindless Facility. Mr Betterment tells the Doctor that he seems unhappy and proud and presents to him the Betterment Machine. He forces the Doctor to look into the light and ties him to his chair, telling him that he is beginning his path to become a better him.

Part two
The Doctor returns downstairs and joins Mel and Patricia, looking pale and insisting that he is so much better for having seen Mr Betterment. When Hebe arrives and expresses her confusion over Elise's transformation, Mel suspects it is because of the Mindless Facility and is concerned by what the Doctor recounts about his meeting. In the TARDIS, the Doctor receives a text on his new mobile phone telling him to experience his true self, a sentiment that Mel finds nonsensical. She suggests that he has a rest and does not attend Elise's party, but he is excited.

Elise joins Mr Betterment and her husband, Ron, who are discussing how they intend to subject the Home Secretary to the Betterment Machine when he visits. Hebe and Patricia wait for the meeting to end and, upon seeing a door saying "kindly do not enter", they slip away to explore. At Elise's party, Hebe tells Mel that she and Patricia came across a huge room full of blank-faced people at their computers and argues with Elise about it. The Doctor reveals after the party that he knows that he was subjected to brain conditioning and that it wore off some hours ago.

In the morning, Hebe and Patricia are threatened with legal action by the Vice-Chancellor should they trespass in the Mindless Facility again. The Doctor and Mel plan to free those affected by the Betterment Machine using the works of Emily Dickinson.

The Home Secretary visits the Mindless Facility and is subjected to the Betterment Machine by Mr Betterment, but Elise and Ron begin to have second thoughts. The machine is destroyed and the Home Secretary passes out. The Doctor and Patricia enter and reveal that they ruined the scheme and that UNIT will soon be here to dispose of the machinery and escort the blank-faced aliens from the premises. Mr Betterment declares that they will one day rise again to take over everybody's mind with the aim of making them perfect, but the Doctor does not think that anybody will every fall for the scheme again.

Hebe is surprised to learn that Elise married Ron and stopped being a goth long before the Mindless Facility came to the university. After telling Patricia how humans cannot be made perfect, the Doctor returns to the TARDIS with Mel and Hebe and they have a takeaway.

Cast

 * The Doctor - Colin Baker
 * Mel Bush - Bonnie Langford
 * Hebe Harrison - Ruth Madeley
 * Patricia McBride - Imogen Stubbs
 * Elise - Cherylee Houston
 * Mr Betterment - Paul Herzberg
 * Ron / Takeaway Guy - Toby Hadoke

Worldbuilding

 * Ron was the target of Patricia's sarcasm for five years. They have divorced.
 * Elise is a poet and senior lecturer in the English department.
 * Ron is the dean.
 * The Doctor thinks back to his own days at the Academy, which was "millennia" ago.
 * Borusa said that the Doctor's cohort was full of "gifted wastrels and ne'er-do-wells".
 * Mel goes to the Mother Theresa Coffee Lounge.
 * Elise used to be a goth.
 * Elise once wrote a fifteen page epic satanic fantasia during the Easter holidays whilst she was "off her head" on Night Nurse.
 * Patricia has wet wipes in her bag.
 * Patricia teaches anthropology.
 * The Doctor asks for six sugars with his tea.
 * The Doctor quotes Emily Dickinson.
 * The Home Secretary's team includes Fionnuala and Jocasta.
 * Hebe orders Mel some mild food with lentils.
 * The Doctor says to make sure that nobody spills curry sauce on the TARDIS console.

Continuity

 * Hebe and Elise belonged to the Lame Ducks whilst studying at Sheffield Hallam University. (AUDIO: The Rotting Deep, Maelstrom)
 * Following on from Maelstrom, the Doctor, Mel and Hebe are responding to Elise's distress call.
 * Hebe calls Mel "Melanie-Mel". (AUDIO: The Rotting Deep)
 * The Doctor again ponders whether he's living most effectively. However, when challenged, the Doctor rebukes the notion that he is anything other than as his best self. A marked change from the self-doubt of his earlier travels with Mel. (PROSE: Millennial Rites)
 * The Doctor asks for six sugars with his tea. (AUDIO: Project: Lazarus)
 * The Doctor calls in his friends at UNIT. He recently did the same thing on Albatross Alpha. (AUDIO: The Rotting Deep)