How Much For Just The Planet? (comic story)

 was a gag-strip printed in DWM 301, which represented an (entirely fictional) potential Doctor Who spin-off: a sitcom featuring Sabalom Glitz and Melanie Bush. The comic was a part of a series of possible "alternate universe" TV shows, and was attached to a fictional description of the show's history.

Summary
Glitz and Mel are trying to run their store but suddenly have troubles with a crab monster who has nine items in the eight-item line. The monster becomes angered at Glitz and begins attacking him. Mel knocks the creature over in self-defence, accidentally knocking him into the trash compactor. Mel is horrified, but Glitz has an idea, as he is next seen selling Crab Pasta to customers. Mel exclaims, "Oh, Glitz."

Characters

 * Sabalom Glitz
 * Melanie Bush
 * Crab monster