Do You Have a Licence to Save this Planet? (fan work)

Do You Have a Licence to Save this Planet? is a comedy short film released in 2001 to mark the 10th anniversary of BBV Productions. A parody of Doctor Who, the film stars Sylvester McCoy as "The Foot Doctor" and pokes fun at BBV's stock in trade -- making unofficial Doctor Who-related video productions featuring licensed alien races such as the Sontarans, yet never being allowed to use The Doctor himself.

Publisher's Summary
What do you get if you cross a Krynoid with an Auton, Sontaran and a sombrero wearing Cyberon with a penchant for fine wines and Ex-cell-ent conversation?

Shot probably.

On the other hand you could have landed yourself in the middle of the Licensed Reality Corporations' ™ attempt to wipe the stain of the Foot Doctor from the bottom of Accepted Canonicity.

Packed full of strange whizzy things, blue swirly things, and more than its fair share of spoons, "Do You Have A Licence To Save This Planet?" brings SYLVESTER McCOY into battle against some of the most fearsome (as seen on BBCTV's DOCTOR WHO) monsters of all time.

Armed only with a duffle coat, an umbrella and a patented Sylvester-o-matic-talk-them-to-death-o-tron THE FOOT DOCTOR has come to save the universe once again.

He's back. And it's about feet.

Plot
to be added

Cast

 * The Foot Doctor - Sylvester McCoy
 * The Salesman - Mark Donovan
 * Geoff / The Licensor - Nigel Fairs
 * Gloria - Jo Castleton
 * Rassilon - Nigel Peever
 * Delivery Man - Gareth Preston
 * Sontaran - Rupert Booth
 * Autons - Rupert Booth, Philip T. Robinson, Paul Griggs
 * Cyberons - Gareth Preston, Paul Griggs, Philip T. Robinson
 * Cyberon Voices - Paul Ebbs, Steve Johnson

Production crew

 * Cyberons designed by Terry Cooper
 * Auton / Sontaran Costumes by Philip T. Robinson
 * Autons / Sontarans created by Robert Holmes
 * Krynoid created by Robert Banks Stewart
 * Sound Recordist / Sound Effects - Mike Neilson
 * Main Theme - Steve Johnson
 * Incidental Music - Mike Neilson
 * Editor - Bill Baggs
 * CGI / Video Effects - Steve Johnson
 * Props - Helen Gazely
 * Production Assistants - Rob Neilson, Paul Griggs
 * Special Thanks to - David Elms, Rob Shearman, Zoe McAden, Helen Baggs, Sherry Howell, Steve Butler and the Pickled Heads at BATTLEFIELD V
 * Directed and Produced by Bill Baggs

References / Jokes

 * An animated version of Rassilon appears, and receives a shipment of the Toasters of Rassilon, to go with the Fondue sets of Rassilon.
 * A cartoon black and white TARDIS console room, along with a voice that sounds like the Second Doctor who mentions Jamie and Victoria.
 * The Foot Doctor mentions fixing the chameleon circuit.
 * The Sontarans and Autons both from BBV's range appear as well as BBV's own version of the Cybermen, the Cyberons.
 * The 'Foot Doctor' uses janis spoons (a play on Janis thorns), which he plays before throwing them. This joke refers to McCoy's real-life talent for playing the spoons, a knack that was incorporated into the personality of the Seventh Doctor.
 * The Cyberons appear with a teleport like effect (from Blake's 7).
 * A krynoid appears.
 * The Foot Doctor refers to himself as a Chronoduke also the Salesman asks whether or not the Foot Doctor is a Time Lord).
 * There are various references to companions and the various conventions and sayings involved.
 * The Foot Doctor travels in space and time in a washing machine.
 * There is a brief The Weakest Link reference.
 * A Sontaran calls the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce.
 * The Salesman mentions Zygons.
 * The Foot Doctor carries an umbrella similar to that of the Seventh Doctor; his costume, meanwhile, is a patchwork of different patterns, reminiscent of the Sixth Doctor.
 * When the Foot Doctor's male companion realizes he is with The Foot Doctor, not The Doctor, he mutters "BBV!" - a reference to BBV Productions, the company behind this film, known for producing Doctor Who spinoffs that don't actually feature The Doctor.
 * The Foot Doctor is not a Time Lord, but a "Chrono-Duke".

Story notes

 * The opening title sequence vaguely resembles the Doctor Who theme tune, it even begins with a Police box spinning, before being knocked out of the way by a washing machine.
 * At the beginning of the story 'The Foot Doctor' is inside a (CGI) ship operating a console that bears a striking resemblance to a TARDIS.
 * Sylvester McCoy makes obvious references to the Daleks first with an impression and then later in talking about the 'Garlics.'
 * There's a reference to the Borg and Federation of Star Trek.
 * At the end of the story Sylvester McCoy cries 'Ace!'.
 * Oblique reference is made to BBV regulars Peter Davison and Colin Baker.
 * Nigel Fairs, writer of More Than a Messiah (which in turn was based upon an Audio Visuals Doctor Who story, plays a supporting role.
 * The Salesman, who performs the role of companion in this film, is the only character to break the fourth wall and speak directly to the audience (he even mentions the fourth wall).
 * Rob Shearman, who gets a "special thanks" credit, later went on to write episodes for the revived Doctor Who series.
 * Sylvester McCoy wears the same patchwork coat he wore whilst exploring Canada in Bidding Adieu: A Video Diary.

Myths
to be added

Filming Locations
to be added

Discontinuity, Plot Holes, Errors

 * The Auton's hands/guns open different ways: when they first shoot, they slide to the right, but then the second time, they hinge downwards. Due to the nature of this story this could be correct

Continuity

 * It is generally held that non-BBC productions featuring concepts from the Whoniverse fall into an uncertain area when it comes to canonicity. This includes previous BBV productions featuring established characters such as the Autons. Do You Have a Licence to Save this Planet? is all but impossible to connect to mainstream continuity due to the fact it is clearly a spoof and includes fourth wall-breaking metareferences.
 * The end of the story features someone vaguely resembling the Master, a regeneration which references DW: Time and the Rani and a speech at the end which references DW: Survival.
 * The Licensor's campness seems a direct reference to the Master in DW: Doctor Who.
 * Sontarans first appeared in DW: The Time Warrior.
 * Sontarans also have appeared in spinoffs such as RP: Shakedown: Return of the Sontarans and RP: Mindgame.
 * The Krynoid first appeared in DW: The Seeds of Doom.
 * Janis thorns (upon which 'janis spoons' is based) first appeared in DW: The Face of Evil.
 * Autons first appeared in DW: Spearhead from Space.
 * Autons also appeared in BBV: Auton, Auton 2: Sentinel and Auton 3.
 * Rassilon (as he appears here) resembles Rassilon from DW: The Five Doctors.

DVD, video, and Other releases
to be added