Do You Have a Licence to Save this Planet? (fan work)

Do You Have a Licence to Save this Planet? is a comedy short film released in 2001 to mark the tenth anniversary of BBV Productions. A parody of Doctor Who, the film stars Sylvester McCoy as "The Foot Doctor" and pokes fun at BBV's stock in trade -- making unofficial Doctor Who-related video productions featuring licensed alien races such as the Sontarans, yet never being allowed to use the Doctor himself.

Publisher's summary
What do you get if you cross a Krynoid with an Auton, Sontaran and a sombrero wearing Cyberon with a penchant for fine wines and Ex-cell-ent conversation?

Shot probably.

On the other hand you could have landed yourself in the middle of the Licensed Reality Corporation's ™ attempt to wipe the stain of the Foot Doctor from the bottom of Accepted Canonicity.

Packed full of strange whizzy things, blue swirly things, and more than its fair share of spoons, "Do You Have A Licence To Save This Planet?" brings SYLVESTER McCOY into battle against some of the most fearsome (as seen on BBCTV's DOCTOR WHO) monsters of all time.

Armed only with a duffle coat, an umbrella and a patented Sylvester-o-matic-talk-them-to-death-o-tron, THE FOOT DOCTOR has come to save the universe once again.

He's back. And it's about feet.

Plot
to be added

Cast

 * The Foot Doctor - Sylvester McCoy
 * The Salesman - Mark Donovan
 * Geoff / The Licensor - Nigel Fairs
 * Gloria - Jo Castleton
 * Rassilon - Nigel Peever
 * Delivery Man - Gareth Preston
 * Sontaran - Rupert Booth
 * Autons - Rupert Booth, Philip T. Robinson, Paul Griggs
 * Cyberons - Gareth Preston, Paul Griggs, Philip T. Robinson
 * Cyberon Voices - Paul Ebbs, Steve Johnson

Production crew

 * Cyberons designed by Terry Cooper
 * Auton / Sontaran Costumes by Philip T. Robinson
 * Autons / Sontarans created by Robert Holmes
 * Krynoid created by Robert Banks Stewart
 * Sound Recordist / Sound Effects - Mike Neilson
 * Main Theme - Steve Johnson
 * Incidental Music - Mike Neilson
 * Editor - Bill Baggs
 * CGI / Video Effects - Steve Johnson
 * Props - Helen Gazely
 * Production Assistants - Rob Neilson, Paul Griggs
 * Special Thanks to - David Elms, Rob Shearman, Zoe McAden, Helen Baggs, Sherry Howell, Steve Butler and the Pickled Heads at BATTLEFIELD V
 * Directed and Produced by Bill Baggs

References / Jokes

 * An animated version of Rassilon appears and receives a shipment of the Toasters of Rassilon, to go with the Fondue sets of Rassilon.
 * A cartoon black-and-white TARDIS console room, along with a voice that sounds like the Second Doctor who mentions Jamie McCrimmon and Victoria Waterfield having gone off into "a terrible white void", a scenario reminiscent of TV: The Mind Robber.
 * The Foot Doctor mentions fixing the chameleon circuit.
 * The Sontarans and Autons, both from BBV's range appear, as well as BBV's own version of the Cybermen, the Cyberons.
 * The Foot Doctor uses Janis Spoons (a play on Janis thorns), which he plays before throwing. This joke refers to McCoy's real-life talent for playing the spoons, a knack that was incorporated into the personality of the Seventh Doctor.
 * The Cyberons appear with a teleport-like effect (from Blake's 7).
 * A Krynoid appears.
 * When the Salesman asks the Foot Doctor whether or not he is a Time Lord, the Foot Doctor replies by saying he is a "Chrono-Duke".
 * There are various references to companions and the various conventions and sayings involved.
 * The Foot Doctor travels in space and time in a washing machine.
 * There is a brief The Weakest Link reference.
 * A Sontaran calls the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce.
 * The Salesman mentions Zygons.
 * The Foot Doctor carries an umbrella similar to that of the Seventh Doctor; his costume, meanwhile, is a patchwork of different patterns, reminiscent of the Sixth Doctor.
 * When the Salesman realises that he is with the Foot Doctor, not the Doctor, he mutters "BBV!" - a reference to BBV Productions, the company behind this film, known for producing Doctor Who spinoffs that don't actually feature the Doctor.

Story notes

 * The opening title sequence vaguely resembles the Doctor Who theme tune. It even begins with a Police box spinning, before being knocked out of the way by a washing machine.
 * At the beginning of the story 'The Foot Doctor' is inside a (CGI) ship operating a console that bears a striking resemblance to a TARDIS.
 * Sylvester McCoy makes obvious references to the Daleks, first with an impression, then later in talking about the "Garlics."
 * There's a reference to the Borg and United Federation of Planets of Star Trek.
 * At the end of the story, Sylvester McCoy cries 'Ace!'.
 * Oblique reference is made to BBV regulars Peter Davison and Colin Baker.
 * Nigel Fairs, writer of More Than a Messiah (which in turn was based upon an Audio Visuals Doctor Who story), plays a supporting role.
 * The Salesman, who performs the role of companion in this film, is the only character to break the fourth wall and speak directly to the audience . He even mentions the fourth wall.
 * Rob Shearman, who gets a "special thanks" credit, later went on to write the series 1 episode Dalek.
 * Sylvester McCoy wears the same patchwork coat he wore whilst exploring Canada in Bidding Adieu: A Video Diary.

Filming Locations
to be added

Production Errors

 * The Auton's hands/guns open different ways: when they first shoot, they slide to the right, but then the second time, they hinge downwards. Considering the parodic nature of this film, this may have been intentional.

Home video releases
to be added