The One Doctor (audio story)

 was the twenty-seventh story in Big Finish's monthly range. It was written by Gareth Roberts and Clayton Hickman and featured Colin Baker as the Sixth Doctor and Bonnie Langford as Melanie Bush.

This audio was released in December 2001 and was considered Big Finish's "Christmas release". It has a notably comic slant to the story. It is the first of two early Christmas releases in the Main Range, the second being AUDIO: Bang-Bang-a-Boom!. Both stories feature Mel.

This story was also notable for Matt Lucas's Doctor Who debut; he later portrayed Twelfth Doctor companion Nardole.

Publisher's summary
When the evil Skelloids launch an attack upon the seventeen worlds of the Generios system, its peace-loving inhabitants face total destruction.

So it's lucky that the Doctor, that famous traveller in time and space, is in the area, and that he, along with his pretty young assistant, Sally-Anne, manages to defeat the deadly creatures and save the day.

But now it looks as though the Doctor's luck has run out.

Who is the mysterious, curly-haired stranger, intent on causing trouble? What role does the feisty redhead Melanie play in his scheme? And what have they to do with the sinister alien cylinder approaching Generios?

One thing is certain: for the Doctor and Sally-Anne, there's deadly danger ahead...

Part one
The Doctor and Mel are playing monopoly. The TARDIS is off course due to the Doctor accidentally turning on the wide range distress transceiver, and the TARDIS therefore picking up and following a distress signal. They materialise to a party on Generios 1, the central planet of the Generios System at the centre of an intergalactic trade empire. The Doctor complains that he's always the one having to sort out people's problems. Stepping outside, they ask citizen Sokkery why they are all celebrating; he tells them that 'The Doctor', the mysterious, legendary Time Lord who travels the universe righting wrongs with his assistant, has banished the evil Skelloids. The Doctor is certain it wasn't his doing.

The 'Doctor' is talking to Councillor Potikol, who asks him to recount how he defeated the Skelloids. As the crowds outside chant for their saviour the 'Doctor', he explains how he realised that the Skelloids' lifecycles rely on the absorption of hydrogen, and so inverting the core of their hydrogen stabilisilers (with the help of his psychic screwdriver, and his companion, Sally-Anne) took care of them. The 'Doctor' and Sally-Anne say they must be off, but they want a reward- some Pluvon Power Crystals, to run their STARDIS. There are none left in the Generios Empire, so instead they ask for 100 million credits in cash to buy some. The councillor seems a little uncertain, and the 'Doctor' protests, but Sally-Anne talks him into taking the money.

The pair then cackle about their scam going so well- the 'Doctor' is actually Banto Zame, a con artist, as is Sally-Anne. Meanwhile, the crowd is banging on their doors, and they meet Sokkery again, who shows them a newspaper with the 'Doctor' on the front. The Doctor and Mel have a plan to get in to see them. The Councillor returns to tell Sally-Anne that the great computers that control their banks is being "influenced" by a piece of space debris that has drifted into their system. Banto and Sally-Anne flirt after the Councillor leaves to get a drudge to destroy the debris. Pretending to faint gets the Doctor and Mel taken inside to recuperate, and they slip off to find the fake Doctor. The space dredger has been destroyed.

The real Doctor and Mel find Banto and Sally-Anne, but the con artists accuse them of being other con-artists, running a similar con (pretending to be the Doctor, faking an alien invasion, 'stopping' the invasion, and ask for compensation). The Doctor orders them to stop, but then the Councillor bursts in, and Banto tells him that the real Doctor and Mel are overzealous fans. They are dragged away while the Doctor rants and raves. The Councillor tells Banto and Sally-Anne about the space debris that is still intact, and is heading straight for them. They need the Doctor's help.

The Doctor and Mel are locked in a well-furbished cell until the Councillor can decide what to do with them. The Doctor says he's a laughable footnote, as much a legend as Father Christmas, this far in the future. An sonic wave blasts across the planet from the debris, and the fake Doctor says he cannot stop it. The sound is a weapon, and the Doctor and Mel try to battle it by concentrating, but it appears to be destroying their minds.

Part two
The weapon stops, and although the pair are dizzy, the Doctor and Mel seem to be alright. The voice of the person who initiated the attack books over the planet, telling them that he has been sent to collect tribute: the three greatest treasures of the Generios System. If they refuse, the planet will be destroyed. Clearly, the space "debris" is actually a ship, where this person is located. They have three hours. Potikol asks for the "Doctor's" help once more- he agrees, but as soon as Potikol leaves, Banto tells Sally-Anne that he thinks this ship is just the "curly haired man" (the real Doctor's) version of their Skelloid attack. In other words, it's the next stage in someone else's scam. They won't leave without their money.

The Doctor and Mel are throwing the food dispenser against the door to escape. They are now free, and head to the council chamber to find out more about the invader. On the way, they see the false Doctor's STARDIS, which looks like a portaloo. Potikol delivers the STARDIS and a list of the locations of the three great treasures to Banto, but warns them that not all the planets in the system will be welcoming. Then, the real Doctor and Mel burst into the council chamber.

to be added

Cast

 * The Doctor - Colin Baker
 * Melanie Bush - Bonnie Langford
 * Banto Zame - Christopher Biggins
 * Sally-Anne Stubbins - Clare Buckfield
 * Cylinder / The Jelloid - Matt Lucas
 * Councillor Potikol / Assembler 2 - Stephen Fewell
 * Citizen Sokkery / Mentos - Nicholas Pegg
 * The Questioner / Queen Elizabeth - Jane Goddard
 * Assembler 1 - Adam Buxton
 * Guards - Mark Wright & Alistair Lock

Crew

 * Cover Art - Clayton Hickman
 * Director - Gary Russell
 * Executive Producer - Jacqueline Rayner
 * Music & Sound Design - Alistair Lock
 * Producers - Gary Russell and Jason Haigh-Ellery
 * Writers - Gareth Roberts and Clayton Hickman

The Doctor

 * The Cylinder calls the Doctor Johann Schmidt, Doktor von Wer, Ka Faraq Gatri, Theta Sigma and Snail.

Individuals

 * The Questioner poses a question to Mentos about the Masterbakers of Barastabon.
 * Mentos answered that Gantax Nondrian was reported to have originated the phrase "you can take a Pescaton to water but you can't make him sing" to a question posed by the Questioner.
 * Thinkum the Lesser invented the Sponecatcher
 * Mel may have been a girl guide, and refers to 1989 as "her time".

Locations

 * In June 1975, the Doctor based himself in 35 Jefferson Road, Woking during an invasion by Cybermen.
 * Mel as a girl lived in a large house in Pease Pottage, about seven miles from town.
 * Generios 1 is the centre of an intergalactic trade empire spanning 17 planets, and is located in the Generios System, in the Constellation of Generios.

Species

 * The Spraxis Jelloids are large, single-celled organisms who can live in excess of fifty million years.
 * The Sinister Sponges worship the Loofah of Life.
 * A Spaag from Vishtek 3 ate Sally-Anne's Aunty Sue.
 * The Quarks are mentioned by Banto.
 * The young of the Pomtemrays are called the Letvilles.

Planets

 * Banto Zame is from the planet Osphogus, which was terraformed five thousand years before the time of the story.
 * The Jelloid is expecting a home entertainment system from the planet Bendalos. The depot for said entertainment system is on Sirrinus Traxia.
 * Abydos is located in the Rim Worlds; nothing much is out there. Banto wanted to buy it.

Objects

 * The STARDIS, Banto and Sally-Anne's mock TARDIS, is shaped like a portaloo.
 * Banto uses a psychic screwdriver, equivalent to the Doctor's sonic screwdriver, to seemingly defeat the Skelloids.
 * The Cylinder projects its transmission over Generios 1 with a Multi-Phase Corpolectic Sound Wave.
 * At the start of this adventure the Doctor is indulging in his megalomaniacal side by playing Monopoly.

Three Great Treasures of Generios

 * UNIT ZX419, also known as the Shelves of Infinity, are infinite and therefore impossible to put up.

Units of Measurement of Time

 * 5 Maleks is equivalent to 15 and a half Gluabs long, which is about three hours.

Media

 * The quiz show The Feeblest Contestant has been going on for 33,000 years.

Continuity

 * Mentos asks the Doctor if he's going to use one of those "fox the computer conundrums...the last thing I said was false and all that". This alludes to a popular means of defeating misguided or evil computers in Star Trek but also references TV: The Green Death. The Eighth Doctor would experience a similar failure in using such questions on the Brain in PROSE: The Space Age, but simply muses that at least it shows people are building the computers properly. TV: The Dæmons also features a Dæmon being destroyed in a similar manner, although they are not machine beings.
 * The names that the Cylinder calls the Doctor hail from specific stories: Johann Schmidt (AUDIO: Colditz, Klein's Story, Storm Warning; PROSE: Timewyrm: Exodus, The Shadow in the Glass), Doktor von Wer, (TV: The Highlanders) Ka Faraq Gatri (PROSE: Remembrance of the Daleks, PROSE: Timewyrm: Revelation) Theta Sigma (TV: The Armageddon Factor, TV: The Happiness Patrol) and Snail. (PROSE: Lungbarrow)
 * The Doctor claims that he has very good eyesight in the dark due to drinking so much carrot juice. (Mel would have forced him to drink it.) (TV: Terror of the Vervoids, The Ultimate Foe)
 * Mel mentions the fact that she has "the memory of an elephant" is a running gag between herself and the Doctor. (TV: Terror of the Vervoids, Time and the Rani)
 * The Sixth Doctor's comment that his hair stands on end in the presence of another self is later mentioned in AUDIO: The Light at the End, when he arrives in a pocket dimension at the same time as the Seventh Doctor.