The Terror of the Umpty Ums (short story)

The Terror of the Umpty Ums was a short story featuring a fictional version of the Doctor and written by Steven Moffat. It was later published as the third story in the anthology Adventures in Lockdown. Notably, the Doctor who appeared in this story was merely the figment of the main character's imagination.

Summary
Karpagnon, a DeathBorg 400, is engaged in a conversation with Dr. Petrie inside a children's home. Dr. Petrie kindly informs Karpagnon about his return the following day, mentioning the presence of Dr. Johnson and Dr. Ahmed. Although Karpagnon's Tactical Monitor detects no explicit threat, his Strategic Oversight Junction hints at the possibility of an implied, non-explicit threat.

As Dr. Petrie departs, Karpagnon's thoughts turn to escaping the children's home. However, his internal systems suddenly encounter glitches, causing an unexpected voice and thoughts that disrupt his logical processes. The voice identifies itself as the Doctor, claiming to be a friend who wants to assist with the escape. The Doctor reveals that she has rewired Karpagnon's internal systems and is communicating through an earpiece.

Initially resistant, Karpagnon reluctantly decides to follow the Doctor's guidance as she encourages him to prioritise avoiding harm to humans during the escape. The Doctor mentions the Umpty-Ums as the most fearsome aliens, but Karpagnon's extensive data banks yield no information about them. Together, they proceed to the kitchen, where the Doctor suggests turning up the heating to inconvenience the humans instead of resorting to destructive measures. Although Karpagnon initially craves vengeance, he finds himself hesitating and ultimately follows the Doctor's suggestion.

Karpagnon and the Doctor arrive at Dr. Petrie's office. They discover Dr. Petrie asleep, and Karpagnon contemplates destroying him. However, the Doctor challenges Karpagnon's hatred, suggesting a mischievous alternative of drawing a moustache on Dr. Petrie's face instead.

With a mix of conflicting emotions and the Doctor's influence, Karpagnon opens the front door to escape the children's home, feeling the cold air in his lungs and shivering. The Doctor points out that, being a DeathBorg 400, he doesn't possess lungs. The Doctor reveals that she exists within his mind and that he is not a cyborg, but rather a young boy named David Karpagnon, with a vivid imagination. David had conjured the Doctor from his beloved television show Doctor Who, and the alien creatures known as the Umpty-Ums were named after the sound the show's theme tune makes.

Feeling bewildered, David returns to his room as the Doctor provides him with comfort and reassurance.

Characters

 * The Doctor
 * David Karpagnon
 * Doctor Petrie

Worldbuilding

 * Daleks, Cybermen, Weeping Angels, Sontarans and Slitheen are examples of scary creatures.
 * Karpagnon believes himself to be a Deathborg 400 from the weapon groves of Villengard.
 * Karpagnon knows some of the Doctor's aliases: "the Ka Faraq Gatri", "the oncoming storm", "the bringer of darkness", "the imp of the Pandorica", and "the final victor of the Time War".

Story notes

 * The Doctor appears as a figment of David Karpagnon's imagination.
 * The titular "Umpty Ums" are an representing the opening bassline to the Doctor Who theme.

Continuity

 * The Doctor is a character in the television show Doctor Who. (TV: Remembrance of the Daleks, In the Forest of the Night, PROSE: Hospitality, et al.)
 * The Doctor is known as the Ka Faraq Gatri, or "bringer of darkness". (COMIC: Bringer of Darkness; PROSE: Remembrance of the Daleks)