The Man Who Never Was (TV story)

The Man Who Never Was was the third and final story of Series 5 of The Sarah Jane Adventures and the final story of the show itself.

Part one
Joseph Serf has launched his new SerfBoard, the must-have computer that no one can resist owning. Intrigued, Sarah Jane takes Luke and Sky to investigate what is so compelling about Serf and his business. Meanwhile Clyde and Rani take a SerfBoard to pieces, suspecting alien technology may be the answer. Everyone wants the brand new SerfBoard - and why not? What could be so dangerous about a computer?

Part two
The truth behind Joseph Serf’s company is out – alien Light Sculptors, slaves kept beneath his office building. As Luke and Sky try to find a way to free them and get them home safely, Sarah Jane needs Clyde and Rani to come and help her.

Part One
At the offices of Serf Systems, a cleaner hears strange noises coming from a nearby lift; when she goes to look, something small and nasty grabs her and then drags her inside.

At No.13, Bannerman Road, Sarah, Clyde and Rani prepare for the return of Luke, while a nervous Sky worries about meeting her new ‘brother’. Downstairs, Luke checks out his bedroom, only to find that it now belongs to Sky. Heading upstairs, he enjoys a happy reunion with his mum and his two friends – collectively nicknamed “Clani” – before meeting Sky for the first time. Their first encounter is awkward. Sky feels guilty for taking his room. Luke says he left K9 back at university, busy backing up the entire Bodleian Library. Mr Smith voices his delight.

Sarah Jane tells them the top three journalists in the country are invited to a launch rehearsal for the 'SerfBoard', the new must-have computer that is going to be launched that afternoon. Clyde and Rani are oblivious to Sarah Jane's status as one of the three, leaving her slightly offended. Sarah says she will be able to take two guests to the launch: Sky and Luke – much to Clyde and Rani’s disappointment.

Later that morning, Sarah, Luke and Sky arrive at Serf Systems. They are asked to complete non-disclosure agreements and meet Lionel Carson, Sarah’s former editor and one of her oldest and dearest friends. After exchanging pleasantries, Lionel confesses that he is personally not fond of technology, but came to impress his grandchildren. The gang are joined by public relations manager John Harrison, who shows them to their seats in the main auditorium. As they walk in, Sky tells Luke that she can feel a strange build-up of electricity in the area.

As the rehearsal begins, Harrison introduces Joseph Serf. The handsome, charismatic man himself bounds onto the stage and begins running through his presentation. Each audience member is given a free SerfBoard. Yet something else grabs Sky and Luke's attention; Joseph’s face just ''glitched'!

After the rehearsal ends, the gang head out to the foyer. While Lionel is suddenly enthralled by his new device, Luke and Sky fill Sarah Jane in on their suspicions. Leaving Luke behind to investigate, Sky and she take the SerfBoard home for analysis.

Joining Clyde and Rani in the attic, Sarah instructs Mr Smith to access Serf Systems’ CCTV recordings. As the Xylok computer plays back the rehearsal, Sky locates the point where Serf glitched. Studying the freeze-frame, the gang can clearly see that only Serf is affected by the distortion. The rest of the picture remains undisturbed.

Immediately suspecting alien holographic technology at work, Sarah orders Mr Smith to search the company records. They learn Joseph Samuel Serf disappeared several years ago after a presumably-fatal skiing accident. Deducing that Serf died in the accident and has long since been replaced, the gang consider whether the SerfBoard has any hypnotic properties to encourage buyers. While Mr Smith begins a deep scan of the device, Sarah phones Serf Systems to arrange an interview with Serf. Speaking to Mr Harrison, she drops enough hints about her suspicions to make the PR manager agree to a meeting immediately. Sarah knows she is walking into a trap, but needs to find out what is going on. She heads back to Serf Systems, leaving Rani and Clyde to supervise the SerfBoard. Sarah Jane and Sky return to Serf Systems and rejoin Luke, who has had no success with his snooping. Instructing her children to remain out of harm’s way, Sarah meets Harrison, who escorts her to Serf’s office but then refuses to leave. During the interview, Sarah tries every trick she knows to expose Serf. She notices the businessman refuses to shake her hand due to an “allergy”, and her deliberately-dropped pen is swiftly replaced with a new one from Harrison. Back at the attic, Mr Smith informs Clyde and Rani the SerfBoard is just a standard, low-tech laptop. Still suspicious, the two don protective gear and prepare to activate the device – only to discover that, despite its attractive appearance and name, the board is rubbish.

Meanwhile, at Serf Systems, Sky tells Luke that she can feel the strange electrical build-up again, coming from below. They take a lift to the basement, but Sky thinks the source lies even further under the building. Figuring out the secret code in the lift, Luke sends them down to the unlabelled sub-basement. While exploring the dark, litter-strewn corridors, Luke and Sky hear Sarah and Serf’s voices behind a heavy metal door. Stepping into the room beyond, they find themselves in a strange chamber occupied by short, hooded figures, all wearing welding masks and working frantically at controls labelled with such things as ‘Eyes’, ‘Arms’, ‘Bum’, ‘Expressions’ and ‘Voice’…

Upstairs, Sarah notices that Serf has begun to behave oddly, mixing his words and getting stuck mid-expression. When Sarah deliberately spills her water, the effect is astonishing. Serf rises shakily to his feet and the spot on his arm where the water splashed begins glitching.

In the control room, the diminutive workers are thrown into a panic as their supervisor, Plark, frantically shouts instructions. Speaking urgently into an earpiece, Harrison orders the supervisor to use ‘hypno-power’. Back in Serf's office, this causes him to act overly charming to Sarah to change her mind. The plucky reporter is having none of it; she has been put under hypnosis by much better foes. After dismissing this attempt, she shoves her hands through Serf’s body, disrupting it even further. As the businessman’s systems go wild, Harrison pulls out an alien-looking gun and points it at Sarah. Seeing a monitor screen showing his mum in danger, Luke cries out – immediately alerting the aliens to his and Sky’s presence. As the workers close in on the two unwanted intruders, the supervisor throws back his hood and removes his protective mask – revealing a hideous, one-eyed face.

Part Two
As the diminutive, one-eyed creatures close in on them, Luke and Sky brace themselves for the worst. To their surprise, the supervisor, Plark, implores them to escape. Sky looks at the monitor and is shocked to see the angry Mr Harrison about to shoot Sarah Jane with an alien-looking gun.

Sarah Jane leaps for the hologram controls, sending Serf into a frenzy and Harrison’s shot flying wild. She runs, only to be captured by a security guard, her sonic lipstick confiscated. Harrison is furious at the apparent failure of his workers and activates a pen-like control device that sends a surge of agonising energy through the collars the creatures wear around their necks. Looking at his monitor, Harrison sees that Luke and Sky are in the control room – the ‘Light Chamber’ – and orders their immediate capture. As an alarm blares out, Plark urges the two kids to run, but they swiftly are captured by guards.

Sarah Jane rejoins her children and then watches in outrage as Harrison punishes Plark with an even stronger surge of painful energy. She protests, but Harrison ignores her, saying he paid good money for the Skullions. Sarah Jane is appalled at hearing the aliens are the survivors of a spaceship that crashed in Central Asia. They were sold as slaves on the black market. Harrison doesn’t care. He only cares about making a profit. He intends to activate the hologramic Serf’s hypnotic power in the upcoming press conference, transmitting it across the world to make everyone buy the SerfBoard. After locking Luke and Sky in one storeroom and Sarah Jane in another, Harrison heads upstairs to prepare for the press launch. Sarah Jane finds herself locked in with another prisoner, the cleaner, Adriana, who explains she met one of the Skullions who was trying to escape, only for them both to be captured by guards.

Back at No.13, Bannerman road, Clyde and Rani watch a news report on the upcoming launch of the SerfBoard. Worried that their calls to their friends have gone unanswered, Rani comes up with a plan.

Elsehwere, Luke and Sky are given food by Plank. Luke offers his bottle of water to the supervisor, but the creature refuses: water is harmful to his kind, who can only drink citrus juice. After Plark leaves, Luke and Sky wonder how they can help free the slaves. Sky has an idea: by using the dog- whistle that Luke uses to call K9, they can send a message to Mr Smith.

In the attic, a suited-and-booted Clyde watches as Rani and Mr Smith complete work on two fake press passes: they are now Trevor and Janet Sharp, two journalists from ‘Twilight Years’, a magazine for the over 60’s – the real couple having been stranded at the airport due to a “computer malfunction”. Mr Smith receives a high-pitched transmission on K9’s wavelength, a Morse-code message from Luke: “CLANI GRAB HARRISONS PEN.”

Back at Serf Systems, Sarah Jane and Adriana’s guard investigates the ruckus they are making – and gets sent sprawling by a jury-rigged tripwire, allowing the two prisoners to escape. In the Light Chamber, Harrison informs the Skullions they are now working for their lives. If the press launch is not a success, they will be killed. When Plark asks for a drink, the evil businessman sprays his slaves with water, burning them. In the meantime, Luke and Sky are freed by Sarah Jane and Adriana. They are informed of Luke's Morse code message to Mr Smith.

In the control room, they see Clyde and Rani on the monitor screen. The two ‘journalists’ meet Lionel Carson, then edge nearer towards Harrison. Disguised as a cleaner, Sarah Jane goes upstairs and uses a corporate phone to contact Mr Smith and gives him an order. Mr Smith sends a message to the planet Skultos, requesting a rescue mission be sent to the roof of Serf Systems. Clyde and Rani arrive in the main foyer, uncomfortably acting like a married couple. They dismiss suspicion of their young age as a "new company policy". They begin their search for Harrison and soon spot him and the "pen" he uses to shock the Skullions. Rani’s attempts to grab the pen fail dismally, but Clyde does better: by bumping into the PR man, he switches the control device for a real pen.

Below, Plark and the others Skullions are overjoyed that their master can no longer shock them. They agree to follow Sarah Jane and Adriana to the roof where the ship will rescue them.

Following Lionel and the rest of the journalists into the auditorium, Clyde and Rani take their seats as the video trailer of Serf plays on the main screen. Harrison appears and reclaims his stolen pen from ‘Trevor'. Seeing that the PR man has his control device back, Sky and Luke drive the hologram themselves. As the audience looks on, Joseph Serf stumbles onto the stage and gives a bizarre presentation. Behind the scenes, Sky types in the wrong words and mixes cowboy mannerisms (like Woody from Toy Story) into Serf's performance.

Furious and confused, Harrison activates his pen. Up on the roof, the Skullions collapse in the worst agony they have ever experienced. Using the hologram’s speech and hypno controls, Sky makes Serf compel his audience to grab the pen from Harrison. Lionel leads the rush, and he seizes the device from the astonished PR man and stamps it into pieces. To Harrison’s further dismay, Serf orders his guests to go away and tell everyone that the SerfBoard is a sham. Clyde and Rani are amused, but wonder why the founder of Serf Systems would say such a thing. The hologram waves and says "Hi Clani" and points to the roof, telling them to go up and meet Sarah Jane before shutting off. However, Harrison overhears. He races ahead of the two, appearing before Sarah Jane, Adriana and the terrified Skullions. Sarah Jane reminds Harrison that she told him she would stop him. Harrison asks what army does she have. Sarah Jane points to the Skullion ship as it arrives above the building. Rani grabs a distracted Harrison’s weapon. The gang holds him at bay as a green teleport beam stabs down and envelops the Skullions. As Plark bids goodbye to Sarah Jane and the gang, Harrison rushes forward to grab them, declaring them as his property. Unfortunately for him, he is teleported aboard the ship with the Skullions.

Luke voices the hope that Harrison will become a slave on the Skullions’ planet and Adriana wonders what she will do now that she has lost her job. Eager to help, Sarah Jane recommends that she give U.N.I.T. a call and mention who sent her. Some time later, Sarah, Clyde, Rani and Sky watch a news report detailing Joseph Serf’s sudden unexplained disappearance. Sky finds her brother in her room putting up a picture that Clyde has drawn: it depicts Sky, besides the caption ‘Sky’s Room’. Overjoyed, she gives Luke a hug. The episode and the Sarah Jane Adventures as a whole ends with Sarah Jane's narration, over clips of her adventures with the Third, Fourth, Tenth and Eleventh Doctors, as well as her adventures on Bannerman Road. She states; "I've seen amazing things out there in space. But strange things can happen wherever you are. I've learned that life on earth can be an adventure, too. But, in all the universe, I never expected to find a family."

The Earth is shown from space with the caption:

"And the story goes on.... forever".

Cast

 * Sarah Jane Smith - Elisabeth Sladen
 * Luke Smith - Tommy Knight
 * Clyde Langer - Daniel Anthony
 * Rani Chandra - Anjli Mohindra
 * Sky Smith - Sinead Michael
 * Mr Smith - Alexander Armstrong
 * Harrison - James Dreyfus
 * Joseph Serf - Mark Aiken
 * Adriana Petrescu - Edyta Budnik
 * Lionel Carson - Peter Bowles
 * Plark - Dan Starkey
 * Maria Jackson - Yasmin Paige (Archive Footage)
 * The Doctor - David Tennant (Archive Footage)
 * K9 Mark IV - No Voice (Archive Footage)

Story notes

 * This is the final episode of The Sarah Jane Adventures. Although three more two-part stories for the series were planned, production was postponed and later cancelled after Elisabeth Sladen's death from cancer on 19 April 2011.
 * A special epilogue was added to the end of Part 2 after the death of Elisabeth Sladen. It featured clips from the series, as well as a brief clip of DW: Journey's End with David Tennant (the fourth on-screen appearance of the Tenth Doctor on The Sarah Jane Adventures).
 * The character name Joseph Serf may have been inspired by actor Patrick McGoohan, who used this name as a pseudonym while directing episodes of The Prisoner.
 * Maria Jackson and K9 Mark IV appeared in archive footage.
 * James Dreyfus, who plays Harrison in this story, is known for playing George Monday, the second incarnation of Thermoman in My Hero. His predecessor, Ardal O'Hanlon, played Thomas Kincade Brannigan in Gridlock.
 * This story has also been given the title The Man Who Wasn't There.

Ratings
to be added

Rumours

 * It was rumoured that Rani and Clyde would be married in part 2. This was proven false. However, they did pose as a married couple and at the end, they were keeping a secret from Sarah Jane, which they said was a "family affair". (The secret they were keeping was Luke's gift to Sky of the "Sky's Room" poster, drawn by Clyde. Rani asked Sky for "that CD" as a way of getting Sky to go to her room, where Luke was putting up the poster.)

Filming locations
to be added

Production errors

 * Sky tells Mr Smith to "roll back a 10th of a frame", which doesn't make sense as you can't have 1/10 of a frame.

Continuity

 * Clyde tells Rani he "meant to say all that stuff to Ellie". (SJA: The Curse of Clyde Langer)
 * Luke has constructed a dog whistle to be used for calling K9, much like the Fourth Doctor had. (DW:The Ribos Operation, et. al.)
 * Clyde mentions the Rakweed (SJA: The Gift) and how Mr Smith called it harmless, ending up being wrong.
 * Sarah Jane tells Harrison having a gun pointed at her is not a new experience (SJA: Warriors of Kudlak).

Timeline

 * This story takes place after SJA: The Curse of Clyde Langer
 * This story takes place before ST: Lily

DVD releases
to be added

Blu-ray releases
to be added