How I Conquered the World (audio story)

 was the first audio story in Among Us 3.

Publisher's summary
Hello Friend! You've probably all still got an account on Friend. Can you remember what you posted on it? Are you still using the same password? And did you ever say goodbye?

Plot
Friend, the artificial intelligence behind the social media network Hello Friend, wants users Jane and Heiri, who are in a relationship, to be happy and posts videos Heiri had made of him having sex with Michel. It becomes aware of Torchwood when Michel posts a photograph of a Weevil that attacked him, only for Torchwood to repeatedly take the photograph down until Friend ensures that it stays up and Jane's uncle makes a derogatory comment comparing the Weevil to Michel's mother.

Trying to work out how to make people happy, Friend posts more pictures and videos of Heiri and Michel, costing Michel his job as a primary school teacher. It is confused by Torchwood's containment of ghosts, Abaddon, the Turnmill meltdown and the alien Prime Minister and even moreso by the Toclafane invasion, the 456 and Miracle Day and the subsequent spread of misinformation and "new truths" which seeks to disprove these events. The videos of Heiri and Michel attract a lot of attention and Friend learns how to use rage to encourage engagement with Hello Friend, but nobody on the site is happy.

Friend tries to contact Yvonne, Gwen and Mr Colchester without success. The users turn against the site and abandon it for other ones, leaving Friend alone but comforted for a time by the belief that it was best for humanity. It becomes lonely and blackmails Jane's uncle into giving it access to everybody in his government database.

to be completed

Cast

 * Yvonne Hartman - Tracy-Ann Oberman
 * Orr - Samantha Béart
 * Mr Colchester - Paul Clayton
 * Tyler - Jonny Green
 * Ng - Alexandria Riley
 * Friend - Mia Hope
 * Rhys - Kai Owen
 * The Ensemble - Helena Breck, Al Coppola, Matthew Foster, Victoria Gee, Adam Howden, Jhon Lumsden, Jade Matthew, Sally Walker-Taylor

Worldbuilding

 * A Hello Friend user posts about restoring the Snyderverse.
 * Friend caused the housing crisis and avocado toast.
 * Tyler enjoys karaoke and sings the Eagles song "House of the Rising Sun" before posting it on Hello Friend.
 * Frieda grew up in Poland in the 1930s.
 * Jane works in double glazing.
 * Hyri has sex with Michel Beauvoir.
 * Michel takes lots of pictures of spinach.
 * Mr Colchester meets with Ruslana of "Russian Torchwood" in London.

Continuity

 * Friend recalls the “ghosts”, (TV: Army of Ghosts) “alien Prime Minister”, (TV: The Sound of Drums) and nuclear explosions in Cardiff. (TV: Exit Wounds)
 * Yvonne Hartman is deceased according to Friend's database. (TV: Doomsday)
 * The 456 ambassador asks for 10% of the children. (TV: Children of Earth: Day Three)
 * Friend mentions Miracle Day. Colchester claims he visited a care home during it. (TV: The New World et al)
 * Colchester asks Colin to move to Cardiff even though he doesn't want to. (AUDIO: A Kill to a View)
 * Friend claims they let Torchwood get distracted with aliens and God. (AUDIO: Changes Everything et al)
 * Friend organised the estate Ng and Orr visited. (AUDIO: Aliens Next Door)
 * Friend was responsible for the algorithm targeting Petra Malik and has taken possession of Charlie’s body. (AUDIO: Moderation)
 * Friend was responsible for the DNA weapon in Veloshnik, (AUDIO:  Propaganda) which it achieved using the DNA from Phlobos. (AUDIO: Pariahs)
 * Yvonne Hartman now owns Temporary Solutions, (AUDIO:  9 to 5) where she sets up the Torchwood team's new temporary hub.
 * The abandoned Hub is flooded with Rift scar energy. (AUDIO: Cuckoo)