The Beauty of Our Weapons (short story)

The Beauty of Our Weapons was a short story written by Andy Lane and printed in the 2008 Torchwood Yearbook.

Summary
Ianto discovers something missing from the Torchwood archive and runs to tell Jack. It’s a spherical alien artefact, possibly a work of art, that’s much too large to have been misplaced. Jack tells Gwen and Tosh to locate it while he and Ianto try to work out how someone could have taken a two-metre sculpture from the archives without being noticed.

Tosh searches the internet and private computer databases for any information on the artefact. She comes across a newspaper article about the philanthropist Ashley ab Hugh, who once had the sphere as the centrepiece of his private art collection. When Tosh can’t find any more information online, Gwen suggests they do some investigating in person.

Meanwhile, down in the archives, Jack detects some trace radiation which would have been given off by the artefact. He proposes following the radiation trail to see where the artefact ended up.

Gwen and Tosh arrive at the Ashley ab Hugh Museum, where they are shown inside by the doorman, Bill. He tells them that the gallery hasn’t had any visitors for months. Inside, Gwen and Tosh see a range of abstract paintings and sculptures. When they ask Bill about the sphere he tells them that people always ask him about that one sculpture, and refers to it as “The Cursed Statue”. He tells them that Ashley ab Hugh bought it at an auction in 1963 and would sit staring at it, not moving or eating, for hours at a time. He was eventually found tearing strips of flesh from his face and sticking them to the outside of the sphere, and died three weeks later. The artefact was then sold by Mr ab Hugh’s estate to an anonymous bidder. When Gwen asks for any information about who might have bought it, Bill tells her that he recalls a private investigator inquiring about the artefact in the 1970s, who was found dead in Cardiff's docks three weeks later.

Jack and Ianto follow the trace radiation through the Hub and into one of Torchwood’s long, unmapped tunnels. As they walk, Jack theorises that one of the Torchwood team snuck the artefact out in the 1950s, recalling that a few Torchwood members at that time would sell alien artefacts at auction. Just then, Jack receives a message from Tosh.

It’s late in the day, and Gwen and Tosh are at the docks. They visit the scene of the private investigator’s murder. According to the records of their initial investigation of the murder, police were unable to search one padlocked warehouse because they had insufficient evidence to get a warrant. Gwen suspects that, if the artefact was at the docks in the 1950s, it would have been stored in that warehouse. When they reach the warehouse, Tosh and Gwen unlock the bolts inside the door using an alien magnetic beam generator. Inside they find what appears to be a temple, with tapestries of bloodied women on the walls and mummified bodies laid across the floor. The corpses are all wearing identical robes, leading Gwen to suggest that they’ve uncovered members of a cult. Tosh scans one of the bodies, sending the information back to the Hub for Jack and Owen to analyse. Gwen ventures further into the temple, but there’s no artefact in sight. When she returns to Tosh she finds her on the phone to the Hub. Jack notes that their robes match a cult of religious fanatics active in Cardiff in the 1970s who worshipped alien artefacts. He then informs Gwen and Tosh that, according to the detective’s bank statements, his last payment before he was killed came from Dimitri Arkanovitch, a billionaire with ties to the Russian Mafia. Jack theorises that Arkanovitch used his criminal contacts to steal the sculpture from the cult, then had the detective killed to cover his tracks.

Gwen and Tosh then set out to pay Arkanovitch a visit. When they arrive at the Arkanovitch Hotel they find the sculpture sitting on a pedestal in the centre of the hotel’s atrium. Gwen stares into the moving shapes and lights, recalling the hours she would spend looking into her parents’ fireplace as a child. Her reverie is interrupted when Tosh tells her the artefact isn’t a sculpture at all. She removes a panel from the pedestal to reveal a tangle of alien circuity. Jack, Ianto and Owen then arrive. Jack and Tosh explain that the light inside the orb is an anti-matter explosion, caught a femto-second after detonation and frozen in place by a combined, concentrated time-field and magnetic-field. Jack explains that the device is a kind of Trojan Horse, specifically a suspended nuclear explosion which can be smuggled into a city disguised as a work of art, ready to be unleashed remotely at any time. Reassuring Gwen, he says that the device was never intended for use in Cardiff, and drifted through the Rift accidentally. Tosh finishes examining the device, and tells the team that the explosion should remain contained for another few thousand years. However, she notes that some of the wiring is loose, which might account for the radiation leaks. After Tosh fixes the loose wiring the Torchwood team leave the hotel, planning to return later and re-steal the artefact before sending it away from Cardiff through the Rift.

Characters

 * Jack Harkness
 * Gwen Cooper
 * Owen Harper
 * Toshiko Sato
 * Ianto Jones
 * Bill Williams
 * Private investigator
 * Dimitri Arkanovitch

Worldbuilding

 * Tosh solders an alien circuit-board which resembles a spider-web.
 * Owen mentions coffee.
 * Owen once visited St Lucia with a girl he was seeing.
 * Jack says that motorbike riders wear leather.
 * Gwen compares the scene at the temple to the Jonestown massacre, mentioning Jim Jones specifically.
 * Gwen compares the light inside the artefact to the aurora borealis.

Continuity

 * The artefact description from 1938 is written in Jack’s handwriting, as he worked for Torchwood during the early 20th century.
 * Jack mentions that he’s previously signed several certificates of marriage and a declaration of war, possibly in jest.
 * Gwen recalls her time working for the police. (TV: Everything Changes, et al.)