Robot Gladiators (TV story)

Synopsis
Darius and K9 go undercover to expose a criminal who is using illegal robot technology in what he calls "destruct-entertainment". K9 becomes a gladiator and has to face the evil Pain-Maker in a battle to the death. But what is the sinister secret plan instigated by Thorne? K9 also befriends the other Robot Gladiators who he sees as cybernetic ancestors, basic androids who however have something of a heart and spirit that even touches K9's superior consciousness.

Plot
Darius is talking with a man called Freddie "The Entertainer" Maxwell about what he calls "Destructertainment", Robot Gladiators for the discerning lovers of mayhem. Freddie has the customers paying hand over fist for video uplinks of his robots fighting in the ring. Even if half of his technology he's using is prohibited by the Department, he dismisses rules as "for the little people". Darius agrees saying he feels the same way, when Freddie says Darius works for Professor Gryffen he corrects him saying that he quit because he treated him like dirt. Freddie tells him he heard that Gryffen was full of himself but says he has to admire his genius as there isn't one robot in the stables that doesn't carry a bit of his legacy. Freddie asks what Darius has got for him, Darius shows him something he managed to take with him when he parted company with Gryffen, K9. Freddie laughs at K9, Darius (annoyed) asks if he is interested, Freddie confirms he has a deal.

24 Hours Earlier

In the Gryffen House, Darius informs the team about Freddie Maxwell aka "Freddie the Entertainer", a two bit hustler. According to Darius' contacts the mastermind behind Crashclub, old Robots modified and being forced ro fight in an arena for the entertainment of rich "toffs". Gryffen congratulates Darius and hopes that at last he can put an end to the man who made a mockery of his Thought Matrix. Developed by Gryffen years ago, a revolutionary robotic brain that allows a robot to think for itself rather than to be programmed. When K9 doubts its that revolutionary, Gryffen explains that while such sophistication may be regular in the future but before Gryffen came along robots were nothing more than round up toys but they moved on thanks to him and they would have moved on even further if the Department didn't confiscate Gryffen's technology for their own use. Jorjie asks why don't the alert the Department as he's using banned technology, he tells her he's already tried but according to June the Department has got "bigger fish to fry". K9 doesn't understand that Sea-food preparation is a Department priority, Darius explains it's a saying. Gryffen explains that he worked long on hard on that technology and he did it for the benefit of Humanity and not to facilitate this "revolting" entertainment. As he leaves, Starkey decides to do something about it, undercover work.

Over 24 Hours Later

Starkey tells K9 on the monitor to think of it as a holliday, as Darius notes a really cheap one to a slave camp. K9 refuses to speak to Darius, branding him a "traitor" who gave him to a crook like he came from a fleamarket. Starkey tells K9 that Darius has to do this if they're going to find out where he keeps the illegal technology and Darius adds that selling him for a bargain made Freddie his pal. Starkey explains that K9 is need to find actually evidence on Freddie if June is going to take any action. K9 tells everyone to keep quiet as it's "showtime", his crate is opened by two Robots modelled on Clowns, Chuckles and Boris. Chuckles tells him refuelling's is almost over, K9 says there has been a mistake and he was supposed to be delivered to the Gladiator Pens. Chuckles tells him these are the pens and they are the Gladiators. K9 is shocked at this, saying they are merely a couple of clowns. Chuckles says that he and Boris used to be Clowns but Freddie owns them now so like it or not they are Gladiators, as is K9. A big powerful robot which Chuckles identifies as the Pain-Maker arrives as he and Boris fall back in fear, he says none of them stand a chance against him. K9 asks the kids if they are seeing this, Starkey confirms they are as he ,Darius and Jorjie look on shocked. The Pain-Maker pounds their fuel containers as Darius notes it's no second-hand rust bucket and Starkey adds that it's built for combat. Jorjie says that K9 would deal with him without raising a sweat although she is visibly shocked.

As K9 is their new roomate, Chuckles and Boris are excited and show him around the place where the walls are the only interesting feature. The Alarm then activates, saying K9 is wanted in the Pit. He goes down there to see Starkey, who Darius gave a story that he was some kind of child robotic genius and Freddie hired him on the spot. K9 thanks him but says it is completely unessescary. K9 asks how is the plan progressing, Starkey tells him Darius is in Freddies office as they speak and the minute he finds out how Freddie is getting this illegal technology they leave. K9 asks him to speed it up, Starkey says he thought he'd like getting to know his ancestors. K9 however compares it to if Starkey was locked up for a few hours with some Chimpanzees, saying that he can calculate the age of the universe with 98% accuracy while they struggle to avoid bumping into the furniture. Starkey suggests that there must have been a K9 which did the same somewhere long ago and that they are his past, K9 now says he understands what they mean by the Dim Past. Starkey says being snooty about his ancestors isn't a good look.

Darius tells Freddie how he doesn't understand how he is able to swipe tech from the Department and run the place under their nose, he asks him how he keeps it all secret. Freddie gives Darius Lesson 16: "Always be prepared for a swift departure if needed, keep all records of illegal activity close and portable. When Darius asks how close, Freddie says that is another lesson and he has to organise tonight's show. K9 watches Boris blow up a balloon, let the air out and then repeat it over and over again. He asks Chuckles why he keeps doing it saying it's illogical, he tells him it seems perfectly logical to him. K9 asks what does he know about logic, he tells him that Balloons where his act in the circus and kids loved it and that clowns should be clowns and not Gladiators, Chuckles says he wants to go home to the circus. Freddie then calls Boris onto the ring on the intercom, K9 asks where is he taking him, Freddie merely says it's "Showtime" and tells them to keep it down. Freddie says to a man that Boris is one of his best and is a real contender and should give his "boy" a challenge.

Boris honks his horn as the Pain-Maker is brought into the ring, Freddie says that K9 should be the one fighting and asks if the man if he wants to see K9 fight. He merely remains silent, Freddie takes this as a no and adresses the viewers watching the match. The Pain-Maker tries to strike Boris but he evades the attacks using his acrobatic moves, however he doesn't hold out forever and is soon destroyed by the Pain-Maker. Freddie is shocked by this saying it's not the match he anticipated and he still thinks that K9 should have fought. He asks the man, who is revealed to be Thorne, why have him purchase him if he doesn't want to see him fight. Thorne assures him that K9's turn will come. Starkey examines the ruins of Boris as K9 asks who did it, Chuckles tells him it's Pain-Maker as he isn't like the other robots, he was built for fighting. K9 decides that Freddie and Pain-Maker finds out what he was built for, Starkey tells him to remember the plan. When K9 says he is changing it Starkey tells him to use his head as they want to shut Freddie down for good and even with all K9's powers he can't arrest him, K9 says he could give him a "good zapping". Starkey says he can't and even if he could, when it wore off he would be back to business as usual, he tells K9 to just keep up the act a little longer and any minute now Darius will find the evidence they need to shut Freddie down.

At the House, Darius decides that he quits, Starkey says he can't as the whole plan lies on him. Darius they're going to need a new plan, saying no ammount of sucking up to Freddie is going to give him any alone time to search his office. Gryffen says there has to be some way of exposing him, Darius says none that he could see. Starkey says that K9 may not stay undercover for much longer, Gryffen tells Darius to think has he has spent time with Freddie. He asks him what his weaknesses are, all he knows is that he likes peanuts. Gryffen tells him to try harder and he says that he likes money. Gryffen decides to threaten is finances to shake him up enough to get him out of his office. When Darius asks how, Starkey has an idea but another undercover operative, Jorjie. After changing into Business attire Jorjie says this won't work, Starkey tells her to just speak like her mother. Gryffen advises her that when she is talking to him to keep the details vague and remember that if she believes it she is it. Darius jokingly advises that if he does suss her, "lose the heels and make a run for it".

She arrives in Freddie's office, he tells her to talk to her secretary as he has a fight to organise. She introduces herself as Carolyn Fincher Jones of His Majesty's Revenue and Customs. He argues that she's very young to be a taxperson as she calls it, when she interprets this compliment as an attempt to influence her he says he has never gave a compliment in his life. She asks if this is his office, he says he's just looking after it for a friend however she says his name is on the front door. She asks him is she is currently engaged in a commercial enterprise, he says it's really more of a hobby. She asks if he has B.A.T. returns to support this claim, he corrects her saying it's V.A.T. returns. She says thats want she meant and starts with them asking if he has receipts, when he says he might have if he bothered looking she decides to contact some of her colleagues and start by going through all his electronic records. He gives in and goes to get his receipts.

Darius arrives through the other door and congratulates Jorjie, Jorjie tells him to hurry as she has a feeling he will be fast going through those receipts. In the Pens, K9 is dressed up since Chuckles insisted he looks the part. Starkey asks if he is sure about taking on the Pain-Maker, saying it isn't necessary as once Freddie goes down Pain-Maker will go along with him but K9 cannot risk him fighting and likely destroying Chuckles before that happens, he must protect his new friend. Starkey says he's trying to protect his friend, K9 thinks he will easily succeed but Starkey says he may land a lucky punch. K9 thanks him for his concern but assures him his Photon Beam will defeat Pain-Maker and make sure he will beat up no more of his fellow robots. Jorjie searches for evidence as Darius observes a part of a Robot, Darius determines there's only one place a criminal like Freddie would hide something and thats the one place he'd never think to look himself because if he'd never think to look there then no-one else in their right mind would think to look there either. Jorjie then finds a data chip under his bowl of Peanuts, Starkey arrives and Jorjie tells him she thinks she's found something and uploads it to Gryffen. They hide under the table as Freddie and Thorne arrive, Freddie tells him about the taxwoman who just arrived saying that she's trouble. As a CCPC closes the door Thorne asks her name and Freddie tells him it's Fincher Jones, Thorne then asks if he's sure it isn't Jorjie Turner, he tells him she has a friend called Darius Pike. He says they are here now, they come out from under the table and Thorne sees that Starkey is with them as well, "The full set". Thorne tells them not only did he know they were here he knows everything they have been up to for the past two days, he was setting a trap. Even though as Thorne notes Freddie is not a genius, he asks them if they will think that Freddie would believe that Jorjie is a taxwoman and Starkey is a robotic expert although he's right about Darius being a dodgy hustler. Freddie explains that Thorne prevailed on him to go along with their scheme, Thorne then says that since Freddie's entertainment was illegal he was hardly in position to argue. He confirms to Jorjie that he is working with a known criminal who is using technology which is specificly banned by the Department. Thorne announces to Freddie that it's showtime and Freddie adresses the viewers.

The kids are shcoked to find that K9 is going up against the Pain-Maker. When Darius and Jorjie assure him that K9 will defeat him, Thorne says he hopes so. Thorne reveals that he knows that K9 can regenerate, when Starkey asks how he knows that, he simply taps his nose and notes that this an extremely valuable technology which could be of great benefit of the Department. Darius says K9 won't just hand it over, Thorne says that he will need to find another way to secure it and that way is to force K9 to have to regenerate his living metal frame, to destroy him. The Pain-Maker will not be able to destroy K9 through his strength, but by being laced with the highly explosive Solarmite, it's a bomb. Darius argues that that much Solarmite will take out the entire building, Thorne says he has taken the precaution of having the bunker reinforced but after one Photon shot by K9 and everything outside the bunker will be destroyed apart from his Regeneration unit. Starkey says K9 will sense there's a bomb, Thorne tells him that as the Pain-Maker destroyed his friend then he won't bother scanning. The Pain-Maker flashes Boris' hankerchief around, angering K9 who prepares to fire. They try to warn him but Thorne says he can't hear them. The Pain-Maker attacks K9 but he hovers and evades every assault, K9 soon refuses to fight him as Starkey notes he is too decent to act they way Thorne would.

Thorne initiates the Pain-Maker's self-destruct sequence. K9 scans it and detects the Solarmite, it then detonates. Thorne orders the CCPCs to go down there and recover anything they can find, K9 arrives having managed to escape the explosion. K9 explains that despite Solarmite would damage him, the only explosive force capable of destroying him would be his self-destruct, Thorne's plan would never work. Freddie asks when he and Thorne are getting together to build his new arena, Thorne however says he was never here. Darius tells him Thorne is terminating the deal, Jorjie says he's going to have to find something new after he gets out of prison and shows him his business data chip. Thorne is angry to hear he hid it under his Peanuts, he leaves and Freddie follows him. Darius offers K9 some peanuts and he refuses as Starkey and Jorjie laugh. Back at the House, Gryffen finds no damage to K9 due to the explosion. Everyone is confused as to why he knows about K9's regeneration unit, the only people who witnessed K9's regeneration were them, K9 suggests Thorne has sources of information beyond what they know about him. Gryffen determines he must have and however he knows about it he's willing to go to any lengths to find it, K9 decides that he will be more vigilant than ever. Darius comes in with a call for K9 from Chuckles and Boris (who has been rebuilt). Chuckles tells the team they are going back to the circus, he thanks them for shutting down Crashclub. K9 persists to Chuckles that he is not a dog, Starkey puts his hand over K9's mouth to shut him up as he explains in great detail how he is a robot.

At the Department Mobile HQ, Thorne speaks with Lomax where he assures him that the Department will have no recorded connection with Crashclub and that Freddie will take the whole fall. He tells Thorne that as K9 knows of Thorne's intent to take his regeneration technology it will make acquiring it harder, Thorne says it won't be impossible and promises they will gain it and their plans will succeed. Lomax leaves it with him and orders to use all the powers at his disposal, Thorne assures that he intends to.

Cast

 * K9 Mark 2 - John Leeson
 * Starkey - Keegan Joyce
 * Jorjie Turner - Philippa Coulthard
 * Darius Pike - Daniel Webber
 * Professor Alistair Gryffen - Robert Moloney
 * Freddie Maxwell - Gareth Harris
 * Chuckles - Remi Broadway
 * Boris - Micheal Donnet
 * Lomax - Peter Kent
 * CCPC - Eugen Bekafigo
 * CCPC - Jason McNamara
 * CCPC - Josh Norbido
 * CCPC - Tyler Rostedt

Production crew

 * Writer - Jim Noble
 * Director - James Bogle
 * Producers - Penny Wall, Richard Stewart, Simon Barnes
 * Executive producers - Jim Howell, Grant Bradley, Steve Robbins
 * Associate producers - Bob Baker, Paul Tams
 * Supervising producer - Dale Bradley
 * Co-Executive producers - Mark Blythe, Sam Tromans
 * Line producer - Pam Collis
 * VFX Director - David Napier
 * Series Production Designer - Jon Dowding
 * Episodic Designer - Adam Head
 * New K9 Design by - Paul Tams, Alex Kubalsky
 * Series Director of Photography - Ben Nott
 * Episodic Director of Photography - Tony O'Loughlan
 * Music by - Christopher Elves
 * K9 theme music by - Micheal Lira
 * Editor - Patrick Stewart
 * Casting - Faith Martin and associates
 * Episodic casting - Lisa Moloney
 * Drama/Dialogue coach - Peter Kent
 * Story Producer - Greg Walters
 * Script Adaption - Michaelet O'Brien
 * Production Accountant - Pru Donovan
 * 1st Assistant Director - Peter McLennan
 * Script Supervisor - Sue Ketchington
 * Costume Designer - Joanne Thompson
 * Makeup Designer - Sharon Robbins
 * Puppeteer - David Pawsey
 * Location Manager - Charles Boyle
 * Sound Recordist - Ian Grant
 * B Camera Operator - Dan Maxwell
 * Gaffer - Steve Monk
 * Key Grip - Billy Harmer
 * Special thanks to - Space Furniture, Shredox, J. Barbour & Sons Ltd, Heath Williams at Firefly Lighting, Videopro
 * Safety Supervisor/Stunt Coordinator - Danny Baldwin
 * Transport Manager - Alister Ward
 * Unit Manager - Graeme Suhr
 * Post Production Facility - Cutting Edge Australia
 * Head of Post Production - John Lee
 * Sound Design - Warren Pearson

Story notes
This is so far the only episode of K9 in which June Turner does not appear, although she is mentioned.

Ratings
to be added

Myths
to be added

Filming locations
to be added

Production errors
to be added

Continuity

 * Thorne says he knows about K9's Regeneration circuit. (K9TV: Regeneration)
 * Robot Clowns previously appeared in DW: The Greatest Show in the Galaxy.

Home video releases
This episode is featured in the Series One complete boxset.