We Killed the Doctor Dead!

"We Killed the Doctor Dead!" was a song sung by the Scorchie Mr Grizzfizzle, with Cool Cat and the Magic Mice doing backup. Through this song they informed Jo Grant that they killed the Third Doctor. The song was reprised when the Scorchies discovered that the Doctor wasn't dead. (AUDIO: The Scorchies)

Original lyrics

 * We killed him dead,
 * Oh yes, all dead.
 * Yes we killed that pesky Doctor dead.


 * So let's all shout:
 * "We took 'im out!".
 * Cause we killed that bloomin' Doctor dead.


 * You can't ignore,
 * that he's no more.
 * We wouldn't want to see you, Jo, misled.


 * We'll be succinct,
 * the Doc's extinct.
 * Yes, we killed that no good Doctor dead.


 * Yes, the Ogrons tried it,
 * but the Doc denied it.
 * They were far too stupid to win.


 * Dæmons want to kill the Doctor,
 * destroy his helicopter.
 * But he was their banana skin.


 * Ice Lords tried to make it colder,
 * that just made the Doctor bolder.
 * And they failed where we succeed!


 * And now we have achieved it,
 * and now the Doc's received it,
 * It has been decreed:

That...


 * the big Boy Scout,
 * we rubbed him out.
 * We achieved it one hundred percent!


 * Oh, he's deceased.
 * So rest in peace.
 * Yes, we know the vexing Doctor's spent.


 * His story's junked.
 * His time defunct.
 * We've riddled up the Time Lord for dessert.


 * It seems a shame,
 * But now he's slain.
 * It's time to wash the Doctor's frilly shirt.


 * So here we are,
 * it sounds bizarre.
 * You'll forgive us if we like a bit of crow.


 * 'Cause now you see,
 * it's thee and me.
 * But who is gonna save you all now, Jo?


 * So you enquired,
 * "Has he expired?"
 * I think we'd like to offer you brown bread.


 * Because you know,
 * He had to go.
 * Yes we know the Daleks couldn't,
 * Oh no, wouldn't,
 * Even the blasted Gell guards didn't.
 * Yes, we know we killed the Doctor dead!

Reprise lyrics

 * Well, he's not dead,
 * Yes, he's not dead.
 * So it seems the Doctor has survived.


 * It seems a shame,
 * that he's not maimed.
 * Cause that (???) Doctor has revived.


 * It seems insane,
 * that he's no brained.
 * But we can't deny; we've seen it with our eyes.


 * The story breaks,
 * that news was fake.
 * The reports of that blasted Doc's demise.


 * So now ring out the Klaxons,
 * we must be worse than Axons,
 * cause he’s returned to ruin our show.


 * We thought that we’d rehearsed it,
 * but now the Doc’s reversed it,
 * Like the polarity of the Neutron Flow.


 * We were enthusiastic,
 * (???) like molten plastic.
 * Life must be our destiny.


 * (???) colder(?),
 * might as well (???),
 * cause we paid the penalty.

Cause...


 * The Doc's still alive(?),
 * Yes, he's survived.
 * Yes, we felt this was his curtain call.


 * The silver mane(?),
 * It (???)
 * Ah(?), it seems the Doctor's fooled us all.


 * A fist with clench(?),
 * But now he must be drinkin' up his fill.
 * But now he must be drinkin' up his fill.


 * But when I'm done,
 * I'll (???).
 * We've got another sleeping pill.


 * So be alarmed,
 * We mean you harm!
 * Let us (???) now misunderstood.


 * You'll take a dive,
 * And not survive!
 * It's time to rub the Doctor out for good!


 * So let it rip!
 * The Doc's a blip!
 * Be careful now or don't do where you tread(?)


 * Cause now it's time!
 * Pay for your crime!
 * We'll make the Doc an absentee,
 * We won't go back (???)
 * Cause we would have killed the Doctor dead!
 * Cause we would have killed the Doctor dead!