All the Empty Towers (short story)

All the Empty Towers was the fifth short story of The Scientific Secrets of Doctor Who, featuring the Twelfth Doctor.

Summary
Clara gives the Doctor a hat that says "Kiss me quick, squeeze me slowly", but he doesn't get it. She wants him to take her to Blackpool, her home. The TARDIS materialises, but outside is a jungle. This is Blackpool in 2089. Everything is overgrown. They spot a herd of donkeys. Suddenly, one is hit with a jagged silver disc. The Doctor pulls it out and sonics the wound, naming the donkey Meghan. Another disc misses his foot. They run to the water and the Doctor points out a window in a guest house where the discs are coming from. They run under the pier and circle around the guest house.

The Doctor kicks open the door and calls out to the sniper. A half robotic landlady comes down the stairs, brandishing the disc launcher. Clara tries to calm her down, but she raises the blaster. The Doctor pulls Clara outside, where four small pods hover. A man called Triss tells them they're on his hunting grounds. It's his stag night, and he and his friends rented the place out.

Triss raises the blaster, and the Doctor and Clara run to the nearest building. Clara thinks the ships look like dodgem cars and the Doctor realises they are drawing their power from Blackpool Tower, the building they're in. Clara sees a lion in the building through a door, so they climb up the lift shaft. They go up two stories, through the ball room. Clara is momentarily distracted and asks the Doctor if he knows how to dance; he says he doesn't. They continue out to the exterior of the tower itself. The discs start flying again, but they find reach the viewing platform. On the platform are the controls for the pods. As soon as the Doctor touches them, an alarm goes off and another robotic old lady appears. Just as the landlady is about to reach him, however, he shuts down the power, and robot collapses. Outside, the four ships descend to the ground.

In the ballroom, the Doctor admits he does indeed know how to dance, sonics the organ, and he and Clara dance before leaving the building. Then, out on the beach, Meghan finds the Doctor, and they play in the water.

Characters

 * Twelfth Doctor
 * Clara Oswald
 * Meghan
 * Triss

Worldbuilding

 * The Doctor loves candy floss.
 * Blackpool Tower and the Golden Mile have been overtaken by the jungle. There are wild giraffes, donkeys, lions, and parrots that escaped from the circus.
 * The Doctor doesn't like Simply Red.
 * Clara thinks pedalos are fun.
 * Triss owns the last snow-topped mountain in Switzerland.
 * The Doctor and Clara dance a gavotte, a dance associated with the court of French King Louis XIV.

Continuity

 * Clara wonders if the jungle is "the trees doing a thing again". (TV: In the Forest of the Night)
 * Clara asks the Doctor if he dances, and he says he does a bit. (TV: The Doctor Dances)
 * Clara's hometown is Blackpool. (TV: The Rings of Akhaten)