Party Kill Accelerator! (short story)

Party Kill Accelerator! was the fifth story in the Iris Wildthyme anthology The Panda Book of Horror. It was written by Blair Bidmead and introduced his recurring characters Theo Possible and "Kelsey".

Plot
On the cusp of night and day, and Panda trundle their way through thick, grey, mud, following directions written on the back of a cigarette packet to the Zona Oscura Festival. They arrive at their destination, with a doorman granting them access, and giving them VIP lanyards.

Panda, fed up with the mud and the walking, insists that they purchase drinks. So they head to Madame Moiré's Burlesque Escapade, and as Iris fails to explain to Panda about why Jimmy the Mandrill invited them in the first place, he is captivated by a rotund stripper, Ms Carmen Tranquil. Iris leaves Panda to show his affection to Carmen and she heads to the VIP tent.

Meanwhile, the doorman realises that he hasn't eaten for longer than he could remember. Upon this revelation, he dissolves.

Characters
(In order of appearance)
 * Panda
 * Ron/The Beast
 * Carmen Tranquil
 * Derek
 * Mavis
 * Kelsey
 * A troubadour
 * Octopus
 * Theo Possible
 * Jimmy the Mandrill
 * Jimmy the Mandrill

Referenced only

 * George Formby

Food and drink

 * Iris gives Panda a large gin and tonic.

Continuity

 * Kelsey is a member of Faction Paradox. (PROSE: Now or Thereabouts, Weapons Grade Snake Oil)
 * Some of the party guests are outdated servo-furnishings. (PROSE: Sick Building, Enter Wildthyme)