Happy Endings (novel)

Happy Endings is the fiftieth Virgin New Adventures novel. It is a celebration of many of the elements of the series and features the return of many New Adventures characters. It therefore has a certain commonality with The Stolen Earth and Journey's End, televised episodes that include significant characters from an entire era of Doctor Who, and The Flood, a comic story which ties a narrative bow around the Eighth Doctor's run in Doctor Who Magazine.

It centres around the the wedding of Jason Kane and Bernice Summerfield. Much of the humour of the novel derives from the reactions of her wedding party — which includes Pakhars, Silurians, Ice Warriors and several other species — to ordinary life in an English village. Amongst the set pieces of the novel are two quintessentially British competitions — the pub quiz and cricket. Both get long, multi-chapter attention. Indeed, despite the fact that it is a Seventh Doctor story, its depiction of the friendly between the local villagers and Benny's mostly non-human wedding party is the longest and most detailed depiction of cricket in all Doctor Who fiction.

Publisher's summary
"Doctor, this is my fiancé. Please don’t kill him."

You are cordially invited to the wedding of Mr Jason Kane and Professor Bernice S. Summerfield, to be held in the village of Cheldon Bonniface in the year 2010.

If everything works out, that is. Between rows, fights and pre-emptive divorce proceedings, there may not be a wedding at all. Especially if there really is someone who wants to prevent it happening.

Everybody’s coming: from Ice Warriors to UNIT veterans, a flirtatious Ace to a suspicious Hamlet Macbeth -- and a very confused trio of Isley Brothers. The Doctor has to organise a buffet, Roz has a mystery to solve, and Chris has a girlfriend who used to be the Timewyrm.

Chapter Titles

 * Prologue
 * Pre-Titles Sequence
 * The Unformed Heart
 * The Power of Cheap Music
 * In Dreams
 * Frocks
 * The UNIT Family
 * The Adventure of the Curious Landowner, Chapter One
 * Bona Earth Reptiles
 * Writing in the Sand
 * Cut to the Chase
 * The Adventure of the Curious Landowner, Chapter Two
 * Interlude
 * Neville Cardus, Do Not Touch Me
 * Oops! It's the Bishop
 * Knees Up, Mother Earth
 * Yes, They're Back!
 * The Adventure of the Curious Landowner, Chapter Three
 * Blake's Heaven
 * Hens and Stags
 * Meanwhile, Inside the Charrl's Other-Dimensional Homeworld Contained Within the Doctor's Original TARDIS Standing on the Village Green
 * The Wedding
 * A Slight Interruption
 * The Wedding, Slight Return
 * A Warm Reception
 * Everybody's Welcome at the Wedding
 * They Think It's All Over ...
 * Happy Endings

Characters

 * Seventh Doctor
 * Bernice Summerfield
 * Jason Kane
 * Roz Forrester
 * Chris Cwej
 * Ace

Wedding Participants

 * Sherlock Holmes
 * John Watson
 * Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart
 * Doris Lethbridge-Stewart
 * Mike Yates
 * John Benton
 * Peter Hutchings
 * Emily Hutchings
 * Ishtar Hutchings
 * Reverend Annie Trelaw
 * Mikhail Vladamir Popov
 * Ruby Duvall
 * Hamlet Macbeth
 * Cristian Alvarez
 * Savaar
 * Rhukk
 * Provost-Major Beltempest
 * Doc Dantalion
 * Alexander Shuttleworth
 * Muldwych
 * Kadiatu Lethbridge-Stewart
 * SaRa!qava
 * aM!xitsa
 * Kitai
 * Keri
 * Damakort
 * Nathan li Shao
 * Sgloomi Po
 * Leetha
 * Lisa Deranne
 * Irving Braxiatel
 * Alpha Centauri
 * Bernice Doras
 * Jason (Conundrum)
 * Kim Talevera
 * Gilgamesh
 * Leonardo da Vinci
 * Creed McIlveen
 * Tom Dekker
 * Master of the Land
 * Professor James Rafferty
 * Robin Yeadon
 * Forgwyn
 * William Blake
 * Liso
 * Máire
 * Saul
 * Grey Man
 * Elaine Delahaye
 * Francis
 * Manda Sutton
 * Charles Sutton
 * Herne
 * Old Davy
 * Eugene Petion
 * Howard Phillips
 * Richard Aickland
 * Charlotte Aickland
 * Isley Brothers
 * Danny Pain
 * Jacquilian & Sanki

Anatomy and physiology

 * Ace lost her virginity to Sabalom Glitz. Ace's second lover was Jan.
 * When Bernice and the Seventh Doctor arrive to pick up Sherlock Holmes and Watson, Benny jokes that they'd been shagging.

Artefacts of Rassilon

 * stole the Loom of Rassilon's Mouse.

Books

 * Benny and Jason are given a signed first edition of.
 * Keri tries to read Teach Yourself Cricket to prepare for the friendly.

Communications technology

 * Sherlock Holmes gets annoyed when they first arrive in 2010 because he can't work out what satellite dishes are for.

Foods and beverages

 * Kadiatu drinks a jug of lime juice in a single pass.
 * Leonardo da Vinci made Jason and Bernice's wedding cake.

Gallifrey

 * Flavia was found drunk while in charge of the Sash of Rassilon. The incident allowed Romana to become Lady President of Gallifrey.
 * The Fortean Flicker previously appeared during the Feast of Omega, where it turned all the candles into soft cheese. There was a smell of burning dairy products everywhere.
 * Rivers of Rassilon is possibly a place, but also used as an expression of exclaim: "By the Rivers of Rassilon...".

Individuals

 * Ace has sex with a clone of Jason Kane.
 * Sherlock Holmes goes searching for clues with Roz to solve a mystery.
 * John Watson still fancies Benny.
 * Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart is now over a hundred years old. He gets restored to youth by the Fortean Flicker.
 * Mike Yates is established as bisexual.
 * Ishtar Hutchings is twenty years old and still has some of her Timewyrm powers. She has sex with Chris Cwej.
 * Ernest Trelaw died some years ago with Saul the living church watching over him.
 * Hamlet Macbeth tortured the Doctor, but Benny forgives him.
 * The Doctor thinks Sherlock Holmes is borderline psychotic.
 * Ancelyn and Winifred Bambera couldn't attend the wedding. "Another quest," according to the Brigadier.
 * Alistair had a child with a woman named Isatu. She took his name. Her descendant is Kadiatu Lethbridge-Stewart.
 * Bernice sees Gerhardt, whom she killed, in Puterspace. He says of her killing him, "Well, for me to be angry at you, I would have to be unhappy and I am not. I went to Heaven like good soldiers do and have been walking in the garden with Mother Mary."

Locations

 * The wedding is held in Cheldon Bonniface.
 * There's a bar brawl between the visiting Ice Warriors and the UNIT people.
 * Historically the Land of Fiction was part of the Matrix.
 * The pub in Cheldon Bonniface is called the Time in a Bottle.
 * The Doctor found the crew of the Schirron Dream wandering through the Proximan Chain Rafts.

Music

 * The Doctor regrets attending a Bucks Fizz concert.

Personifications of concepts

 * The Doctor introduces Emily to Time, Death and Pain. Time curtseys at Emily's feet and says, "Hello again, Grandmother."

Planets

 * Bernice and Jason go to Plautus for their honeymoon.

Religion

 * The Travellers come and perform a ceremony with Bernice, Jason, the Doctor, an Ice Warrior and others, where they all end up in a field naked.
 * Death and Time are referred to as gods on Gallifrey. At least a quarter of Gallifrey's population worship them.

Species

 * Romana II has an embassy for the Tharils on Gallifrey.
 * Ruby Duvval mentions having met Cybermen.
 * Under the armour of an Ice Warrior their skin is dyed red.

Sport

 * There is a photo in the pub in Cheldon Bonniface of the Fifth Doctor following winning the local cricket league cup.
 * Roz doesn't know what cricket is.
 * Neville Cardus is a writer of books about cricket.
 * John Watson and P. Cooke's innings were not out.

TARDIS

 * The Charrl return the Doctor's TARDIS that he thought he lost in the alternate universe (and because he time rammed it).
 * Romana's TARDIS disguises itself as a beach hut.

Theories and concepts

 * The Fortean Flicker restores Lethbridge Stewart to youth and health.

Time travel

 * The Doctor gives Savaar a time-jump device to get him and the other Martians to 2010.
 * Muldwych gives the Doctor time rings from the horn of a unicorn to give Bernice and Jason.

Vehicles

 * John Benton owns (and drives to Cheldon Bonniface) an electric Bentley.
 * Hamlet Macbeth drives an "ancient" yellow 2CV.

Continuity
Happy Endings references more or less every New Adventure featuring Bernice Summerfield (and some more besides) to date and beyond.


 * PROSE: Cat's Cradle: Warhead and Warlock established a polluted Earth, which due to the 'Restoration' is becoming clean once more.
 * Benny first met the Doctor in PROSE: Love and War. This is also the novel the Travellers debuted in.
 * Kadiatu first appeared in PROSE: Transit.
 * First Pilot Jinkwa, who got stuck in temporal suspension in PROSE: The Highest Science, gets released and dies.
 * Benny met William Blake in PROSE: The Pit.
 * Benny met Mikhail in PROSE: Birthright, while Ace met the Charrl.
 * Ruby Duvall met the Doctor in PROSE: Iceberg.
 * The original TARDIS that was thought to have been lost in PROSE: Blood Heat is returned to the Doctor.
 * Bernice met James Rafferty in PROSE: The Dimension Riders.
 * Hamlet Macbeth tortured the Doctor during The Left-Handed Hummingbird.
 * Benny first met Irving Braxiatel in PROSE: Theatre of War; however, the Irving that is at Benny's wedding reception is from some time after PROSE: Tears of the Oracle.
 * Benny met Sherlock Holmes and John Watson in PROSE: All-Consuming Fire.
 * Benny met Romana II in PROSE: Blood Harvest.
 * During PROSE: Legacy and Theatre of War, Benny met the Ice Warriors who attend her wedding.
 * Benny met in PROSE: First Frontier.
 * The Doctor undoes the mental block he put in the Brigadier's mind at the end of PROSE: No Future.
 * Benny still has a place in her heart for Guy de Carnac from PROSE: Sanctuary.
 * Joan from PROSE: Human Nature turns up with a new cat, job and friends. The Doctor and Joan share a moment.
 * Benny met Provost-Major Beltempest (and Roz and Chris) in PROSE: Original Sin.
 * Bernice met the crew of the Schirron Dream in PROSE: Sky Pirates!.
 * Bernice met Captain Lisa Deranne during PROSE: Shakedown.
 * Jason, the Master of the Land of Fiction, met Benny (though not in any real friendly way) in PROSE: Conundrum and Head Games.
 * saRa!qava, whom Benny met during PROSE: The Also People, has changed sex (to male) to appeal more to Benny.
 * Benny was tortured (the Doctor tells the Brig about it) and lost her diary in PROSE: Just War. It is returned here by Bernice Doras.
 * Benny met her husband Jason Kane in PROSE: Death and Diplomacy.
 * Chris learns Ice Warrior drinking songs which he then uses in PROSE: GodEngine.
 * Benny is "given away" by the Doctor, but he takes her to find her father in PROSE: Return of the Living Dad.
 * Benny and Jason get divorced in PROSE: Eternity Weeps.
 * Romana encounters Ace again in PROSE: Lungbarrow.
 * Benny encounters the Brigadier again in PROSE: The Dying Days. This meeting, however, is before Happy Endings, and despite the events in The Dying Days, no one is surprised by Ice Warriors.
 * A scene from the party (when Bernice speaks with Irving Braxiatel) is re-enacted in AUDIO: The Wake.