Kaleidoscope (audio story)

Kaleidoscope was the story comprising the tenth release in The Third Doctor Adventures, produced by Big Finish Productions. It was written by Alan Barnes and featured Tim Treloar as the Third Doctor, Sadie Miller as Sarah Jane Smith, Jon Culshaw as Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, Christopher Naylor as Harry Sullivan and Mark Elstob as Sergeant Major Roach.

Publisher's summary
His name is Kaleidoscope. He claims to have travelled halfway across the universe to warn all humankind that it stands on the brink of extinction. And a certain tenacious young journalist has got an exclusive interview with this alien messiah...

But it's not Sarah Jane Smith who's got the out-of-this-world scoop - it's her rival, the unscrupulous Jenny Nettles. Sarah's busy helping the Doctor and UNIT work out if Kaleidoscope is for real or a fake when RAF Phantoms scramble to intercept an unidentified something homing in on a top-secret missile base.

It seems like Kaleidoscope's apocalyptic predictions might all be about to come true.

Part one
On Around and About, Jenny Nettles interviews supposed-alien Kaleidoscope and asks him about his home planet. He places his fingers on her temples so that she can hear the Music of the Cosmos and speaks to the viewers, claiming to have travelled halfway across the universe to warn them that humanity stands on the brink of extinction and should follow him to change the future.

The Brigadier shows the Doctor and Sarah a recording of the interview and informs them that, following broadcast, hundreds of teenagers swarmed the TV studios on the South Bank and begged to be taken into space. Whilst Sarah does not believe Kal, the Doctor wonders if he is connected to the hovering octagon found by UNIT at Hampstead Heath three nights earlier. The Brigadier tells them that they have Kal in custody and leaves to discuss the matter with the Home Office.

Whilst the Doctor and the Brigadier interview Kal, Sarah and Jenny watch from the gallery and argue about their respective news pieces. Kal claims to have travelled to Earth through a space-time tunnel, but the interview is cut short when the Brigadier is informed that Air Commodore Hurley at RAF Weatherton has sent out Phantoms to identify and intercept an unidentified flying object. The object seemingly disassembles itself before it is struck by a missile and the Brigadier, irritated by Hurley's lack of communication, quickly arranges a salvage mission.

The Doctor asks Sarah to continue to investigate Kal whilst he follows the Brigadier in his new car. She witnesses Kal use his telekinetic powers to open the locked interview room door and put a soldier to sleep.

Using his sonic screwdriver, the Doctor finds that the debris is mildly radioactive but will disable radio contact. Jenny takes photographs of what looks like a silver man until the Brigadier orders her arrest and she runs to it. The Doctor determines that the silver man is not an alien but Flight Lieutenant Waxman, the pilot of one of the Phantoms, infected by whatever was in the flying object and now speaking strangely and unintelligibly. When the Doctor tells him that he has come to help, Waxman chokes him.

Part two
Waxman lets the Doctor go when Hurley, using a megaphone, orders him to. When Waxman reaches the RAF convoy, Hurley has the medics subdue him and put him on a stretcher to be taken back to base, believing him to have been afflicted by a Soviet invention. He ignores the Brigadier, who promises to take his complaint of the RAF's involvement to the highest level. The Doctor takes samples of the debris and heads to RAF Weatherton with the Brigadier, accompanied by Jenny, whose photographs have been ruined by the Brigadier. On the way, the sample is fund to contain nothing.

Sarah helps Kal escape outside to her car and takes him to the UNIT site, but they are stopped by a barrier which Kal raises with his powers. When they arrive and find the place deserted, Sarah plans to head to a pub to make a few calls and find out where Weatherton is, but Kal is able to point out its location on a map thanks to the voices in his head.

Hurley arrives at Weatherton and hands Waxman over to Fairford. Fairford observes that the metal parts that were attached to Waxman have apparently moved inside his body and is ordered to remove them.

The Brigadier arrives shortly before the Doctor and Jenny and is harrassed by the female protestors, one of whom, Daphne Green, he knew when he was a captain. Her husband, Major Johnny Green, died as result of exposure to unsafe atomic tests, leading her to become a peace campaigner. Due to Hurley's no-fly zone, the letter that the Brigadier requires to get access to the base cannot arrive by helicopter and he sends Sergeant Major Roach to collect it. Sarah arrives with Kal, who helps the Doctor confirm that the debris containing the essential matter is inside Waxman.

Kal uses his powers to open the gates and leads the protestors inside, after which the Brigadier alerts the security detail to a journalist taking photographs. This gives the Doctor the opportunity to sneak inside, followed by Jenny, and reach the medical centre where Fairford is preparing to operate on Waxman under duress. The nanobots within Waxman emerge and swarm.

Part three
The Doctor asks the nanobots, known as the Grid, to state their purpose, but they consider him to be beneath their concern and force their way into the ventilation system. He speculates that the Grid deliberately caught the attention of the RAF so that they would be brought to Weatherton and could access the missiles of the Minerva Project. The Doctor and Jenny head there

The Brigadier places the airman under his command and has the hangars secured, but is forced to withdraw when Hurley orders him to stand down. Hurley orders his men to fire at the Grid to no avail as they take over the substructure of the base and enter the hangars and then sends Flight Lieutenant Matterdale to obtain the codes to detonate the missiles remotely. The Doctor sends Jenny to warn everybody she sees to flee, including Sarah, and learns that the missiles will implode and suck everything within 2.5km into a microsingularity. The base is evacuated and, to stop Hurley from detonating the missiles, the Doctor triggers his briefcase's failsafe.

When Jenny tells Sarah that they have to leave, Sarah gives her her car keys and heads into the base with Kal to help. The Grid use one of the Phantoms to shoot at Kal, who causes the bullets to disappear. The Doctor gets him and Sarah to safety and communicates with the Grid whilst the Brigadier and Hurley get to the sprinkler system to render them inert. The Grid refuse to enter an ammunition box and go to the Lightning Reefs of Galaxy Six, so the Doctor gives the Brigadier the go-ahead. The water forces the Grid to leave the missiles and take refuge inside of the Doctor.

The Doctor, controlled by the Grid, sets the missiles to launch using his sonic screwdriver. The Brigadier tells Sarah to run, but Kal steps forward and uses his powers to compel the Grid to leave the Doctor's body and enter the ammunition box. To keep Kal from having to continue to concentrate on the swarm, the Brigadier has one of his men bring an electromagnet. Hurley arrests the Doctor for high treason, a crime for which the death penalty still applies.

Part four
On another episode of Around and About, Jenny reports on the rival of alien messiah Kaleidoscope: the Doctor, a Time Lord and chief scientific advisor of UNIT of whom she has secret photographs and tape recordings at RAF Weatherton. The Brigadier is alerted to the content of the programme and has it taken off-air and replaced with music.

The Brigadier introduces Kal to the new medical officer, Harry, who will test his powers under laboratory conditions. Harry begins the tests, unsure of why there is a police box in the corner of the room, and attaches Kal to an electroencephalograph. Kal moves a glass beaker with his mind but, like Harry, is distracted when Sarah runs past.

The Brigadier has his men bring Jenny to UNIT HQ and claims ignorance when she complains about her show going off-air and her evidence mysteriously disappearing. He offers to protect her from Hurley and the Ministry of Defence in return for her publicly retracting her story on the Doctor, but she refuses and accepts his second offer of access to some of UNIT's activities. Sarah bursts in and tells the Brigadier that she has received a call from Daphne, telling her that the Doctor is to be moved in a convoy led by Hurley.

Hurley informs the Doctor that he is persona non grata as far as UNIT is concerned and that he is to be transported to Fortress Island. On the road, the Doctor and Hurley are attacked by melt guns and alerted by Sarah, who was following in her car, to men shooting at them with laser rifles. They flee but are caught by Daphne, a KGB agent, and knocked out with a palladium stun gun by Colonel General Solokov.

Two days after the Doctor's disappearance, the Brigadier, Harry, Jenny and Kal take the box containing the Grid to UNIT's original headquarters in Central London, now used as a secure storage facility. They go to the Doctor's laboratory where the hovering octagonal prism which apparated on Hempstead Heath is stored. The Brigadier offers to hire Kal on a temporary basis and asks him to work out what the prism is; the voices in his head tell him to accept the offer.

The Doctor and Sarah wake up unguarded in a mansion and look outside, seeing a freezing cold waste. Sokolov enters holding a Soviet gun and welcomes the two of them to Siberia.

Part five
Kal's latest attempt to get into the mystery octagon is by using a maser beam, which is unsuccessful. The Brigadier arrives with Harry and asks Jenny if she has heard of Quartz Chrysanthemum, a rock band whose lead singer, Keeth Hazel, claims to have spent the past three years on the astral plane. Jenny visits Keeth for an interview but is caught out when Keeth sees Kal sneaking into the property on CCTV whilst she tries to keep him distracted. He reveals that he is going on a "world destruction tour" with his demon bandmates from Parallel Universe 667.

Sokolov tells the Doctor and Sarah that they are welcome to leave whenever they like, but they are in the middle of nowhere and would likely freeze to death or be eaten by wolves if they chose to leave. They have dinner with Sokolov and Daphne and learn about the mysterious Tájna, the Tunguska Committee and their greatest asset: the perfect spy, codenamed Kaleidoscope. After dinner, Sokolov shows them a room where his staff transcribe everything that Kal sees and hears.

After saving Jenny by crashing through the window on a motorcycle, Kal banishes the demons as well as Keeth by reversing Keeth's guitar riff. Harry checks on Kal's headache afterwards, finding that his eardrums were not perforated by the music, and is told by the Brigadier to use the EEC again when Kal starts wondering how he is seemingly capable of absorbing information. The Brigadier decides that things will be stricter and more regulated in UNIT, having Roach arrange a debriefing before the office of the head editor of the Metropolitan calls for Sarah's "Uncle Alistair".

Daphne and Sokolov inform the Doctor that he will replace Tájna as the scientific advisor of a UNIT equivalent called the SSRG (or "United Socialist Soviet Intelligence Taskforce"). Reasoning that there is a quick route out of the building which Daphne must have used, the Doctor steals a snowmobile and is chased by guards, eventually stopping and returning with wolves on his trail after the guards blow up the vehicle's petrol tank. Upon returning, he is ordered to test the uncatalogued items of the Tunguska Committee's collection on Sarah, who is chained to a wall. Daphne points a device at Sarah on Sokolov's orders and fires.

Part six
The device does nothing but prickle Sarah's skin, meaning that it could be a scanning device rather than a weapon. The Doctor agrees to work for the SSRG so long as Sokolov promises that Sarah will be released after the first month. Sokolov shows them Tájna's collection in a 200-metre lead-lined bunker full of artefacts that need testing, but they will be unable to remove the melt guns, which were used to melt the prison van, Sarah's car and Hurley's corpse after he was shot.

Roach informs the Brigadier that Captain Asquith has been unable to locate Hurley or Daphne. With the Doctor and Sarah missing as well, Jenny drives to Sarah's house and retrieves a cassette recorder which she has been using to record her phone calls as part of her investigative journalism. She presents it to Kal and plays a call that Sarah received from Daphne, after which the two of them kiss. Sokolov watches this happen through Kal's eyes and, with Daphne exposed, he gives Kal instructions to kill Jenny. Harry arrives as Kal shoots his maser gun wildly before falling unconscious.

The Doctor and Sarah find a photograph of the mysterious octagon found with Kal when he arrived in Leningrad twenty years ago, but it was considerably smaller and, according to the notes, can be opened like a flower to reveal the entrance to a space-time tunnel. This, they realise, is how Daphne has been able to move between the UK and Siberia so quickly. The Doctor is told to watch the last footage received from Kal before it cut out and determines that the psychic link was severed when he was told to kill his sweetheart. Sokolov accepts that he has to abandon Kal and tells Daphne to trick the Brigadier into taking an implosive device into UNIT HQ.

After having to cut a call with Daphne short to find out what was happening to Kal, the Brigadier has Roach take him to her flat at Heath Hampstead. He gives her chrysanthemums and, after she references Quartz Chrysanthemum and he finds a gun in her handbag, he holds her at gunpoint and reveals that he knows that she was behind her husband's death. She admits to being a Soviet spy and tells him that she drugged his scotch, making him suggestible to her command to take an implosive device to UNIT HQ in a briefcase.

The Doctor tells Sokolov about the TARDIS and that it would be a mistake to blow it up, but Sokolov is only interested in the future. Daphne returns through the space-time tunnel followed by the Brigadier, who reveals that he never drinks on duty and had poured the scotch into a plant pot. Sokolov threatens to shoot Sarah with an inversion gun but does not listen to the Doctor's warning that he was holding it backwards; he fires and kills himself. When Lieutenant Kuznetsova comes running, the Brigadier orders her to evacuate the building before he detonates the implosive device. Daphne refuses to return to England or leave the building and remains there to die.

Kal activates the octagon that he was found with in Hempstead, which was sent as a replacement when he was finally released from the lead-lined vault, and hears his people ask for him to return. Jenny gives Sarah her car as a replacement for the one she lost and leaves with Kal through the tunnel, which vanishes behind them. The Doctor invites Sarah to travel to Florana, but she plans on going to write a piece on the protestors outside of RAF Weatherton. She feels that peace has become more important than ever.

Cast

 * The Doctor - Tim Treloar
 * Sarah Jane Smith - Sadie Miller
 * Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart - Jon Culshaw
 * Harry Sullivan - Christopher Naylor
 * Sergeant Major Roach / Air Commodore Hurley / Norwegian Radar Controller / Nanobots - Mark Elstob
 * Kaleidoscope - Gerran Howell
 * Jenny Nettles / Lieutenant Kuznetsova - Jasmin Hinds
 * WRAF Controller - Imogen Church
 * Daphne Green - Helen Goldwyn
 * Solokov / Keeth Hazel / Fairford / Phantom Pilot / Nanobots - Stephen Noonan

Animals

 * UNIT once mistook a flock of Canadian geese for a spacecraft.
 * The Doctor mentions dolphins and cephalopods.
 * Snails are gastropods.

Food and drink

 * Sarah has sherbet lemons in her glove compartment.
 * The Brigadier likes his tea hot, dark and sweet.
 * Sarah calls Kal a "wet alien lettuce".
 * Sarah asks if Sokolov is going to serve beetroot borscht and pickled turnips.
 * Gregor serves wine and wolf stroganoff.
 * Daphne pours the Brigadier a scotch.
 * The Brigadier asks Daphne to have a look for tonic or ginger.

Individuals

 * Sarah calls the Doctor "Brutus".
 * The Doctor tells Kal that Euclid, a friend of his, used to say "quod erat demonstrandum".
 * Sarah mentions Uri Geller.
 * Daphne was married to Major Johnny Green. He ended up in Tactical after the Brigadier's promotion and supposedly died after being exposed to unsafe atomic tests.
 * Flight Lieutenant Matterdale takes an escort and rendezvous at the helipad with remote codes.
 * The Brigadier mentions the Prime Minister.
 * Francis works at Around and About.
 * Edward Heath brought the United Kingdom into the European Economic Community.
 * Hurley says that not even Papillon could escape from Fortress Island now.
 * Keeth's new band is comprised of Nang on volcanoes, Azulth on earthquakes and Rask on storms.
 * Jenny says that even Jimi Hendrix would have had difficulty performing the guitar riff to banish Keeth's demons. The Brigadier does not know who Hendrix is.
 * Tájna belonged to the Tunguska Committee did not age between the days of Lenin and Nikita Khrushchev. His name meant "mystery" and officially he never existed. He supposedly died in Operation Underground, in an explosion in an atomic facility in Tashkent sixteen years ago, but the Doctor wonders if he was . The operation awoke dragon-people and was covered up. The Committee was disbanded afterwards.
 * The Brigadier sends Captain Asquith to RAF Weatherton.
 * The Doctor once made a friend of Anton Chekhov.

Law and order

 * Rather than get a D-notice for Jenny's photographs, the Brigadier ruins the film.
 * According to the Doctor, speed limits apply only to cars, motorcycles, buses, coaches, minibuses and goods vehicles.
 * The death penalty still applies in the UK for high treason.
 * The Doctor mentions the Scrubs, Her Majesty's Prison Slade and Strangeways.

Locations

 * Kal and Jenny met in Hampstead Heath.
 * The Doctor offers to take the Grid to the Lightning Reefs of Galaxy Six, which are entirely inhospitable for creatures of the flesh.
 * A phrase from the Third Luminosity of the Hydra Constellation roughly translates as "there's no point sealing the scrotnog imbrasia after the scrotnog's fled".
 * Hurley's convoy take the Devesham bypass.
 * The Doctor tells Hurley that he escaped the Château d'If, the Devil's Island and the Tower of London, which he escaped from twice.
 * The demons are extradimensional entities from Parallel Universe 667, which is "one nastier".
 * Kal first apparated in Leningrad twenty years ago.

Media

 * Jenny presents Around and About in a television studio on South Bank.
 * Jenny asks if the Doctor's car can fly like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
 * Sarah works for the Metropolitan.
 * Rio Bravo is a film starring John Wayne. The Brigadier describes it as "quite marvellous".
 * Harry sarcastically asks if the TARDIS is humming the theme of Dixon of Dock Green.
 * When Sarah asks if Sokolov is going to serve beetroot borscht and pickled turnips, he says that she has read too much Dostoevsky.
 * The Brigadier mentions Claude Rains, saying that he was an invisible man.
 * Kal did not know about masers before reading The New Scientist, a magazine for which the Doctor had a weekly subscription.
 * Sarah says that Kal and Jenny were "going at it like teenagers in the back row of the Roxy".

Miscellaneous

 * Jenny once claimed to have found the Titanic off the coast of Argentina, that Stonehenge was a giant radio, that the Bermuda Triangle was a square and that the Mona Lisa was a fake.
 * The Doctor tries to fit in fifteen minutes of Venusian yoga every morning. He does not have all the limbs required to do a downward kaklag.
 * The protestors sing "Kumbaya".
 * Kal meditates.
 * Keeth is a millionaire
 * The Brigadier jokes that Kal "reversed the tonality of the music flow". Jenny does not get it.
 * The Doctor can read the Cyrillic alphabet.
 * The Brigadier gives Daphne chrysanthemums.

Soviet Union

 * The Tunguska Incident was a twelve-megaton aerial blast which flattened 80 million trees in Siberia in 1908. Following the incident, the Tunguska Society was set up to analyse and explore the causes of the event. It was never proven if extraterrestrials were involved. The Society's collection became the Tunguska Committee after the Russian Revolution.
 * Tájna called Kal dalekaya i dalekaya veshch', meaning a "far and distant thing" in Russian.
 * Daphne and Sokolov are setting up the SSRG, standing for Ob"yedinennaya sovetskaya sotsialisticheskaya razvedyvatel'naya gruppa. This translates to "United Soviet Socialist Intelligence Taskforce" in English.
 * Sokolov has the Tunguska Committee's Collection of Extraterrestrial Findings Security Service.

Species

 * The Doctor mentions the Daleks.
 * The silver man looks, to the Brigadier, like a new kind of Cyberman.

Technology

 * Jenny uses an autocue.
 * The Brigadier is amazed by a video recorder.
 * The Doctor drives his new car which has a communication system inside.
 * Sarah a car, which she accepts is impractical, is a yellow 2CV. She covers it to protect it from the rain.
 * The Doctor has an entire field laboratory, including an X-ray spectroscope, in his car's dashboard.
 * Harry uses an electroencephalograph to measure the electrical activity in Kal's brain.
 * Sokolov uses a stun gun made of palladium, a metal even rarer on Earth than platinum.
 * Kal tries to get into the octagon using lump hammers, angle grinders, tungsten carbide drills, gentle persuasion and a maser beam.
 * Kal wears a safety visor.
 * The CIA in the United States of America have been trying to develop remote viewing for years.
 * Jenny gives Sarah her red Midget MG.

UNIT

 * The Brigadier says that his authority is invested by UNIT, the United Nations, Downing Street and Her Majesty The Queen.

Continuity

 * Jenny mentions Sarah's stories on scientists being taken to the Middle Ages (TV: The Time Warrior) and dinosaurs in London. (TV: Invasion of the Dinosaurs)
 * The Brigadier mentions the Cybermen, whom he fought alongside the Second Doctor. (TV: The Invasion)
 * The Whomobile cannot fly, but the Doctor is working on it. (TV: Planet of the Spiders)
 * The Brigadier mentions that he has fought Yeti, (TV: The Web of Fear) Cybermen, (TV: The Invasion) Daleks, (TV: Day of the Daleks) Autons (TV: Spearhead from Space, Terror of the Autons) and Axons. (TV: The Claws of Axos)
 * The Doctor is to be transported to Fortress Island, where was previously incarcerated. (TV: The Sea Devils)
 * Hurley's convoy take the Devesham bypass. The Doctor would later visit Devesham and a replica on Oseidon in his fourth incarnation, accompanied by Sarah. (TV: The Android Invasion)
 * The Doctor says that he has escaped from the Tower of London. He did this in his first incarnation (TV: The Sensorites) and in his second. (PROSE: The Roundheads)
 * Sarah mentions the "Golden Age mob" and their fake spaceship. (TV: Invasion of the Dinosaurs)
 * The Doctor calls Harry an imbecile. The Fourth Doctor would later do the same. (TV: Revenge of the Cybermen)
 * The Brigadier decides that there will be no more captains with collar-length haircuts. (TV: Terror of the Autons, etc.)
 * Jenny mentions giant maggots in Wales (TV: The Green Death) and Devil worship in Somerset. (TV: The Dæmons)
 * Harry mentions that he was transferred from Pompey Barracks. (TV: The Ark in Space)
 * The Doctor says that he is going to visit Florana. He previously invited Sarah there. (TV: Invasion of the Dinosaurs)