The Best Joke I Ever Told (short story)

The Best Joke I Ever Told was the sixth short story in the Short Trips anthology Short Trips: Dalek Empire. It was written by Simon Guerrier. It featured the Sixth Doctor and Mel.

Summary
Zeet Frenzy makes television programmes, including a comedy about the Daleks. His only concern is his audience numbers.

Zeet is visited by the Doctor and Mel, who try to convince him that the Daleks are not funny. They are dangerous. He doesn't believe them or their motives, but the Doctor takes him to see the devastation on Guria, one of the many planets wiped out by the Daleks. While there, they are captured by the Daleks and Mel is taken away to be interrogated.

The Doctor and Zeet escape, and the Doctor sets up an explosion to destroy the Daleks. He prepares an escape pod for the two of them and Mel, whom they still have to rescue. Zeet, however, terrified, takes off in the pod. In orbit, he experiences the shock waves from the explosion.

Zeet is rescued by Captain J. V. Acondo, who thinks he is responsible for destroying the Daleks. She spreads the word of his accomplishment, and soon people are giving him credit for the deed.

The Doctor visits Zeet and assures him that Mel is recovering, but fine. After he leaves, Zeet realises that the "actors" playing the Daleks have been replaced long ago by actual Daleks, who have been using him to lull his viewers into complacency about the Dalek invasions. Zeet decides to inform his viewers the truth, well aware that the Daleks will kill him.

Characters

 * Sixth Doctor
 * Melanie Bush
 * Zeet Frenzy
 * Borg
 * Org
 * Captain J. V. Acondo

Worldbuilding

 * Carvoni is a city on Guria.
 * Zeet plays Mavic Chen on one of his programmes.
 * A bully named Andy Ledger used to pick on Mel when she was ten.

Continuity
to be added