Framed (short story)

Framed was the second story in the The Panda Book of Horror anthology. It was written by Mark Michalowski.

Summary
Panda wakes up in a very dark corridor, the walls painted with the blackest of black paints. Panda has no idea where he is, or how he got there. A man known as Mister Heart is standing over Panda, and he tells Panda he is in a place known as The Gallery. Panda looks over his shoulder, and he notices a painting, which begins to shift and change. Suddenly, there's a bright flash of light.

Panda is the head chef on a TV show, What The F**k Do You Call That?, and he's ridiculing a Janine and her (in his opinion) sub-par kitchen. After brutally insulting her and her family, her family brings out a very well prepared summer pudding. He devours it in frenzy, but as he bites into the pudding, he realises it's stuffed with polyester stuffing, causing him to choke and die.

Back in corridor, Panda is mortified over what he had just experienced. He demands that Mister Heart return him to Iris, however Panda gets drawn to another painting, which begins to shift...

Panda is an esteemed art critic, in his sumptuous felt in Bloomsbury, he's having a romantic fling with Antoinette, a talented young artist. There's a knock on the door, as there's a letter informing her that that she's been nominated for the Young Artist of the Year award, which Panda objects to, as he's on the judging panel. Antoinette convinces him it will be fine.

The award ceremony is being held at the Café de Paris, and Panda has the honour of announcing the winner, which is Antoinette. Her petite appearance turns out to be a facade. She

Characters

 * Panda
 * Mister Heart
 * Graham
 * Janine Bonaventura
 * Lee Bonaventura
 * Maria Bonaventura
 * Oz Bonaventura
 * Antoinette
 * Iris Wildthyme
 * Iris Wildthyme
 * Iris Wildthyme
 * Iris Wildthyme
 * Iris Wildthyme
 * Iris Wildthyme

Continuity

 * Iris and Panda are travelling together in the Celestial Omnibus. (PROSE: Wildthyme at Large)