We Always Get Out Alive (audio story)

 was the twenty-first story in the Torchwood - Monthly Range by Big Finish Productions. It was written by Guy Adams and featured Eve Myles as Gwen Cooper and Kai Owen as Rhys Williams.

Publisher's summary
Gwen Cooper and Rhys Williams are on the run from a cataclysm. They're the only survivors, and they're driving away from the disaster as fast as they can. They've got to get away, they've got to warn the authorities, and they just can't be late for the babysitter again.

Dim problem. After all, they're Torchwood and they always get out alive. But this time there's something in the car with them. Isn't there?

Plot
Gwen and Rhys blow up a holiday camp south of Llanelli to defeat a murderous Jordia and start driving home to Anwen before the babysitter has to leave. Rhys argues with Gwen about how she seems to "get off" on the danger of Torchwood and, after they get lost, he hears Gwen say that she hates him, something she denies saying. She looks in the boot when they hear something which she worries could be one of their neutron grenades, but she tells Rhys that it was just deicer.

Continuing the journey, they somehow find themselves back at the camp and a frustrated Rhys tears up their map and storms off, but Gwen brings him back and they set off again. They get confused about whose turn it is to drive and who turned on the heating and Rhys goes blind, which makes him think about his and Gwen's mortality. Gwen stops the car and leaves him alone, so he goes after her despite his condition and, when they return, he has his sight back and Gwen has no memory of either of them leaving the car.

Gwen and Rhys hear their own voices and a baby's cries over the radio and, after switching it off, they hear something in the boot which Gwen worries could be one of their neutron grenades. They get a sense of déjà vu and again forget leaving the car after going to investigate. When they get going again, Rhys spontaneously asks Gwen how many people she has killed and she stops the car to when she sees somebody run across the road and hears something making a noise in the trees. She and Rhys shoot at it and return to the car, once again forgetting what has happened and why Rhys is holding Gwen's gun.

Gwen decides to change direction in the hopes that they will find their way home and Rhys remembers temporarily going blind. Their way is blocked by a tree growing in the middle of the road and they start speaking gibberish after realising that they cannot remember what happened at the holiday camp beyond tracing a missing woman's mobile phone there. Rhys remembers how the Jordia played with people and that it must be in the backseat, but he cannot turn around and Gwen is stuck in a trance until he manages to get her out of it. She stops the car and they forget what has happened.

Although Gwen remembers that there is something in the backseat, she and Rhys are now able to turn around and see that nothing is there. She crashes the car into a tree and shoots the now-visible Jordia, apparently killing it and freeing them from its illusions which kept them lost. Gwen tells Rhys to call the babysitter to let her know that they are going to be late.

Cast

 * Gwen Cooper - Eve Myles
 * Rhys Williams - Kai Owen

Worldbuilding

 * Gwen and Rhys were on their way to Llanelli.
 * Rhys did not like Gwen's lasagne.
 * Rhiannon is a babysitter. She took Theatre Studies for her A levels.
 * This month, Gwen and Rhys have dealt with singing monsters in Cardiff Bay, flying things taking bites out of aeroplanes, alien viruses mutating people and haunted nightclubs with carnivorous dancefloors.
 * Gwen and Rhys have neutron grenades in the car.
 * Gwen and Rhys dealt with alien worms breeding in the sewers by burning their nest.
 * Gwen mentions The Archers.
 * Rhys accidentally calls Mary Cooper.
 * Rhys has an Auntie Bev.

Continuity

 * Rhys asks Gwen how the planning application is going, and that Robert Pugh is getting on with it. (AUDIO: More Than This)
 * Gwen states that she's buried far too many people to say that "everything's fine". (TV: Exit Wounds, The Blood Line, COMIC: Shrouded, et al)