A Postcard from Mr Colchester (audio story)

A Postcard from Mr Colchester was a special release in the Torchwood - Monthly Range by Big Finish Productions, marked as release 65X. It was written by James Goss.

Publisher's summary
Mr Colchester offers a few disgruntled words on the state of the Earth, as aliens question why he bothers to protect it from invasions. But, until the world succeeds in self-destruction, he has a job to do...

Plot
Mr Colchester records a message in which he says that he has been saving Earth day and night recently, no longer having the option of arguing with his husband in the evenings. The planet is burning, the "awful people" are in charge and people agree with them; Earth in its current state, Mr Colchester says, belongs in the bin.

When Mr Colchester encountered the leader of the Savash at the head of an army blocking Newport Road, he handed him his mobile phone to view the news. The leader declared the news to be fake, evidenced by the many comments under each news story pointing out the ways in which they are wrong, and gestured for the dimension warpers to be opened.

Mr Colchester explained to the leader that humans prefer to complain about the news rather than accept the truth and handed the phone back. The chief science warlord looked at the facts and figures and angrily returned to his ship, the planet being "screwed". The leader said that terraforming Earth would not be cost effective and departed with his army, but not before telling Mr Colchester that he should leave.

The reason that Mr Colchester continues to save the world, he says, is because of how one small wrong thing might cause the people to demand change. Despite everything, he believes that humans want to be good and kind. Until then, Torchwood will help keep the people safe.

Cast

 * Mr Colchester - Paul Clayton

Crew

 * Senior Producer - David Richardson
 * Cover Art - Sean Longmore
 * Executive Producers - Jason Haigh-Ellery and Nicholas Briggs
 * Writer & Producer - James Goss

Worldbuilding

 * Mr Colchester mentions him and his husband arguing about sudokus.
 * Mr Colchester compares himself to Batman.
 * Mr Colchester talks about cardigans and charity shops, recycling, and dry cleaning.
 * Mr Colchester suggests the Savash leader look at TikTok.
 * The Savash leader does Colchester's Wordle.

Continuity
to be added