Doctor Who and the Pirates (audio story)

, or The Lass that Lost a Sailor, was the forty-third monthly Doctor Who audio story produced by Big Finish Productions. It was also Big Finish Productions' first audio story. It has a score inspired by Gilbert and Sullivan songs.

Publisher's summary
All aboard, me hearties, for a rip-roaring tale of adventure on the high seas!

There'll be rum for all and sea shanties galore as we travel back in time to join the valiant crew of the good ship Sea Eagle, braving perils, pirates and a peripatetic old sea-dog known only as the Doctor!

Gasp as our Gallifreyan buccaneer crosses swords with the fearsome Red Jasper, scourge of the seven seas and possessor of at least one wooden leg! Thrill as Evil Evelyn the Pirate Queen sets sail in search of buried treasure, with only a foppish ship's captain and an innocent young cabin boy by her side! Marvel at the melodious mayhem which ensues as we sail the ocean blue!

And wonder why Evelyn still hasn't realised that very few stories have happy endings...

Plot
to be added

Cast

 * The Doctor - Colin Baker
 * Evelyn Smythe - Maggie Stables
 * Jem - Dan Barratt
 * Sally - Helen Goldwyn
 * Jasper - Bill Oddie
 * Emmanuel Swan - Nicholas Pegg
 * Mr. Merryweather - Mark Siney
 * Mate/Sailor/Pirate - Timothy Sutton

Individuals

 * In a song, the Doctor refers to Mavic Chen, Tobias Vaughn and Hecate.

Species

 * The Doctor also mentions Daleks, Quarks, Cybermen, Autons, Axons, Dæmons, Krotons, Monoids, Vampires and Voord.

Planets

 * Again, the Doctor also mentions that he saved the planets Manussa, Dulkis, Skonnos and Tigella.

The Songs
1. I Am the Very Model of a Gallifreyan Buccaneer 2. An Assassin's Lot 3. Jasper's Man/Blood on My Hands/The Price We Pay 4. I Am Alone 5. I'm a Better Sailor Far Than You 6. Enter Evelyn 7. Evil Evelyn 8. For I Am a Pirate King 9. The Dawning Day
 * 'I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General' from The Pirates of Penzance
 * Lead Vocals: Colin Baker
 * Backing Vocals: Dan Barratt, Helen Goldwyn, Nicholas Pegg
 * 'When a Felon's Not Engaged in his Employment (A Policeman's Lot)' from ''The Pirates of Penzance
 * Lead Vocal: Mark Siney
 * Backing Vocals: Dan Barrat, Nicholas Pegg, Mark Siney
 * 'I Am So Proud' from The Mikado
 * Lead Vocals: Colin Baker, Helen Goldwyn, Mark Siney
 * 'The Sun Whose Rays' from The Mikado
 * Lead Vocal: Helen Goldwyn
 * 'We Sail the Ocean Blue/I Am the Captain of the Pinafore' from HMS Pinafore
 * Lead Vocals: Colin Baker, Mark Siney
 * Backing Vocals: Dan Barratt, Helen Goldwyn, Nicholas Pegg, Mark Siney, Timothy Sutton
 * 'I Claim My Perjured Lover, Nanki-Poo' from The Mikado
 * Lead Vocal: Colin Baker
 * 'Oh Better Far to Live and Die' from The Pirates of Penzance
 * Lead Vocals: Colin Baker, Bill Oddie, Maggie Stables
 * Backing Vocals: Dan Barratt, Helen Goldwyn, Nicholas Pegg, Mark Siney, Timothy Sutton
 * Reprise of 'Oh Better Far to Live and Die' from The Pirates of Penzance
 * Lead Vocal: Bill Oddie
 * Backing Vocals: Dan Barratt, Helen Goldwyn, Nicholas Pegg, Mark Siney, Timothy Sutton
 * 'The Threatened Cloud has Passed Away' from The Mikado
 * Lead Vocal: Helen Goldwyn

Continuity
Dwm 332 pirates.jpg featured in DWM 332
 * The Doctor does not like to talk about the Great Fire of London in September 1666. (TV: The Visitation)
 * The Sixth Doctor's singing abilities — and particularly his proclivity towards theatrical singing — was established on screen at the end of Terror of the Vervoids, where Mel complains about his awful rendition of "On with the Motley".