Retail Therapy (audio story)

 was the fourth and final story of The Ninth Doctor Chronicles, produced by Big Finish Productions. It was written by James Goss, performed by Nicholas Briggs and Camille Coduri and featured the Ninth Doctor, Rose Tyler and Jackie Tyler.

Publisher's summary
Jackie Tyler is a success. Every home should have a Glubby Glub, and Jackie is star saleswoman on the Powell Estate. At last, she’s found her calling and it’s only a matter of time before she can give Rose the life she deserves. But the Doctor isn’t impressed. Jackie Tyler isn’t just filling peoples’ houses with useless clutter. He believes she’s launching an alien invasion...

Plot
to be added

Cast

 * Jackie Tyler - Camille Coduri
 * Narrator - Nicholas Briggs

Uncredited cast

 * Ninth Doctor - Nicholas Briggs (BFX: The Ninth Doctor Chronicles)

Worldbuilding

 * Among Jackie's guests are Jolene, who brought fairy cakes, and Gemma.
 * Rose and the Doctor are returning to the Powell Estate from the Moons of Fordice.
 * The Doctor is unsure of where the TARDIS laundry room is, and believes it may be sulking.
 * The Doctor says Jackie looks 7 years, 6 months younger with 3% less body fat.
 * The Doctor says dogs pity humans and their inferior hearing.
 * Criticising his wardrobe, Jackie asks if the Doctor is like David Beckham, and throws his T-shirts away after wearing them once. She also wonders how Einstein would react to the Doctor "without a stitch on".
 * Jackie says the Doctor is "no Clint Eastwood".
 * The Glubby Glubs help people sleep for eight or nine full hours, better than prescribed medication.
 * The Doctor has a room full of snow globes on the TARDIS.
 * Jackie brings a bottle of shandy to the TARDIS as a peace offering to the Doctor.
 * The Doctor tells Jackie that he once made lemonade with Archimedes.
 * The Doctor offers a bacon sandwich and ketchup to Rose at a cafe, claiming that worlds have been invaded because of the lack of bacon on other planets. When Rose ponders how bacon can be worth fighting for, the Doctor tells her to ask a pig.
 * The Doctor would say that ketchup is his favourite sauce, but then he would not "look brown sauce in the eye again."
 * Jackie's uncle Tony told her to "never punch a gift horse in the throat."
 * The Doctor once made lemonade with Archimedes.
 * The Doctor notes the invention of spaghetti bolognese as one of humanity's strengths.
 * The Doctor and Rose were recorded by Tycho discussing Jackie in front of a billboard featuring a film actress "who thinks she's better than she is." The Doctor notes that she will attempt to become Prime Minister when the Slybots invade in twenty years time. Concerning her teeth, Jackie comments that it would be like "voting for a mincer."
 * Jackie mentions Uranus and Betelgeuse as planets the Doctor might visit.

Story notes

 * This story features the first appearance of Jackie Tyler's friend Arianna, first mentioned in the 2005 premiere Rose. As with the rest of the cast bar Jackie herself, her voice is provided by narrator Nicholas Briggs.
 * The working title for this story was It's Your Funeral, Jackie Tyler.

Continuity

 * The Doctor hasn't seen the TARDIS laundry room in a while, (PROSE: Seeing I) and Jackie wonders if he ever does the laundry, if he even changes clothing, or if he simply throws his clothes out every time he changes. (COMIC: Laundro-Room of Doom)
 * Rose suggests to the Doctor that they spend the next Christmas at her home, to which he answers "over my dead body". They do end up spending Christmas at the Powell Estate. The Doctor spends most of that time in a coma, having just regenerated into his tenth incarnation. (TV: The Christmas Invasion)
 * Discovering Jackie's Glubby Glubs, Rose recalls her late father's get rich schemes. (TV: Father's Day, Rise of the Cybermen)
 * Finding himself short sighted as a result of the Glubby Glubs drain, the Doctor suggests that he may need glasses. His next incarnation would wear "brainy specs" but only to look more clever. (TV: Tooth and Claw, Time Crash et al.) His twelfth incarnation would also find his sight altered after an adventure, although much more drastically. (TV: Oxygen- The Pyramid at the End of the World)
 * The Doctor notes that he doesn't need to sleep very much as a Time Lord. (AUDIO: World Enough and Time, The Unknown, HOMEVID: Good Night, TV: Knock Knock)
 * Jackie is disgusted at the phrase "little people". Adelaide Brooke will do the same when the Tenth Doctor uses this choice of words. (TV: The Waters of Mars)
 * This will not be the last time that Jackie and others believe a malevolent alien-based phenomenon is benevolent, (TV: Army of Ghosts) nor that the Doctor will deal with a slow burning invasion of harmful objects passed off as knick knacks. (TV: The Power of Three)
 * The Doctor likes his tea with two sugars, (TV: The Unquiet Dead) and gargles it. (TV: The God Complex)
 * The Doctor feels that Jackie can be as intimidating as the Daleks. (TV: Dalek)
 * Jackie recalls her uncle Tony, evidently the namesake of the son she will conceive with the parallel Pete Tyler. (TV: Journey's End)
 * Jackie suspects that Trisha Delaney has talked to Tycho Fairbank about her behind her back. (TV: Boom Town)
 * Jackie's friend Arianna is among those who are shown discrediting her by Tycho. (TV: Rose)
 * Referring to Jackie as his Trojan Horse, the Doctor notes that he met the original. (TV: The Myth Makers)
 * The Doctor has previously defeated a plot that involves draining life-energy from the perceived lower classes to benefit the self-proclaimed upper-classes in his first incarnation; in both cases, he defeated the plot by tricking their enemy into draining so much of his own life force that the enemy takes on some of the Doctor's own personality traits. (TV: The Savages)
 * The Glubby Glubs slowly drain the life out of the TARDIS. The Boneless would also display the ability to leech powers from the TARDIS. (TV: Flatline)
 * The Doctor begins to quote his first incarnation by saying, 'this old body is wearing a bit [thin]' but cuts himself off. (TV: The Tenth Planet)