The Daft Dimension (series)

The Daft Dimension was a continuous series of parodical three-panel comics printed in Doctor Who Magazine.

It was a sort of sequel to Nix' View, an ongoing DWM comic story from the nineties.

DWM 477
Clara says that she understands the Doctor's views of becoming rejuvenated — avoid unneeded add-ons and just be "100% rebel Time Lord" — but asks if his new console (a box with a huge switch with two possible positions — "future" and "past") is a bit too minimalistic.

DWM 478
The Doctor exclaims that he has faced many monsters across all of time and space, and that he will not allow himself to be defeated this way. Clara points out that if he throws out his back trying to pick up his gigantic diary that she has been telling him to go digital.

DWM 479
Inside the TARDIS, Clara asks if they can go to meet more legendary fictional characters. The Twelfth Doctor, disgruntled, tells Clara that fictional characters are not real, especially the one that she was requesting... just as a pair of orange, cartoonish arms wringle up behind him.

DWM 480
At the end of Kill the Moon, Clara asks the Doctor how the creature born from the Moon could have made an egg larger than itself. The Doctor explains that the new Moon is actually much smaller than the original and just has a surprisingly closer orbit. As he says this, he catches the ball-sized Moon in the air.

DWM 481
Rusty the Dalek tells the Doctor that he has looked into his soul, and sees who he is: a good Dalek. The Doctor says that he knows Rusty has potential... potential to be the world's greatest Christmas tree. The Doctor and Clara continue dressing him in tree decorations, as he states, "Bah, humbug."

DWM 482
Clara asks the Doctor why he has a blackboard in the TARDIS. The Doctor explains that it is the perfect weapon against his enemies. He scratches the board, making a loud noise which brings all of his enemies to surrender — from Zarbi to Daleks to Cybermen to Silents.

DWM 483
The Zarbi have become aware of an image problem which they fold — those on Earth think of them as nothing but over-grown ants. To rectify this, the head Zarbi suggests that they follow in the trail of the Cybermen and Daleks and invade the Earth! The other Zarbi agree, and begin scheming of plans to do on the planet — from attacking picnics to stealing sugar to hiding in walls...

DWM 484
Doctor Who fans watching "Deep Breath" wonder what the Doctor's glare at the camera means; if it is him confirming that he pushed him, if it is him saying that he jumped, or if it is further foreshadowing. In reality, the Doctor thinks, "Did I cancel the milk when I left Gallifrey?"

DWM 485
The Doctor notes that on Earth it has been ten years since he met Rose Tyler after the end of the Last Great Time War. Clara, having been into his time stream, already knew about this and has prepared materials to make a cake (including ten candles). After the Doctor points out that in real time it has been closer to 1,000 years, Clara angrily says that she'll make a soufflé.

DWM 486
Davros declares that the Doctor has done something which out-steps the offences of the Time War. He declares that he will defeat the Doctor this time. The Doctor reminds him that he has defeated Davros and the Daleks before, and will continue to do so. Davros says that he will win the conflict, no matter how long the battle takes. In the TARDIS, the Doctor is angrily typing away on the TARDIS' computer. He explains to Clara that he and Davros are in a flame-war, and that he is trying to wind him up.

DWM 487
The Doctor and Clara land in Blackpool in 1894, the year of its founding. There they meet with Vastra and Jenny Flint, with Strax out of sight. Clara asks where Strax is, and Vastra says that he said he was going to use his talents to help the community. The group find him selling ice cream, with "fresh milk," with those who have taken the cones finding the taste off.

DWM 488
The Doctor and Clara watch an intergalactic tennis match. Clara considers the game a huge disappointment: one player, a Weeping Angel, can only play when no-one in the audience is looking at it, and when someone does look at that Angel, one forgets who its opponent (a Silent) is.

DWM 489
Clara asks the Doctor if she thinks that he'll ever encounter a parallel universe again — the Doctor says that he hopes not, as they can often be dark, unspeakable twisted images of reality. In an alternate reality, Strax, the Doctor, Vastra, Jenny, and K9 have taken the form of Mystery Incorporated from Scooby Doo, discovering that the crook was Scaroth all along. K9 exclaims, "Scooby Dooby Whooo!"

DWM 490
Some Doctor Who fans are sat in the pub, saying that Whovians have a more sophisticated demeanour than football fans. After the football ends, the Series 9 trailer comes on the TV, and suddenly, the Whovians start acting just like the football fans, yelling about seeing Daleks,, Skaro, "that girl" and the Doctor's new trousers.

DWM 491
A grey Dalek tells a group of yellow Daleks that they will soon be ready to carry out a new plan to conquer Earth. When one of the yellow Daleks asks for the plan's designation, the grey Dalek asks for an explanation, prompting the others to submit various suggestions - all of which are quickly rejected - as they cannot proceed without a project title.

DWM 492
During The Magician's Apprentice, the Doctor encounters a dying Davros, who explains that he sent for the Doctor for a reason. He gives the Doctor a final request: to play the spoons, as he used to do. The Doctor suggests that he instead play the guitar standing on a tank, but Davros insists that it has to be the spoons.

DWM 493
Lofty's child (in The Girl Who Died) speaks baby, specifically saying "fire in the water" in reference to the nearby electric eels. The Doctor exclaims that this is their key to defeating the Mire: plugging in the Doctor's electric guitar, they can challenge the aliens to a battle of the bands. Clara, however, encourages him to devise a plan 'b'.

DWM 494
The Doctor, Clara, River Song, both Osgoods and the Paternoster Gang are celebrating Christmas, and the Doctor's friends have all given him presents. Much to the Doctor's disappointment, the gifts turn out all to be question-mark underpants. Seeing the Doctor's annoyance, Jenny reminds Vastra that she suggested buying socks instead.

DWM 495
Two Zygons tell their leader that their infiltration of Earth was successful. Morphing into the forms of human children, the two Zygons managed to bypass security and cause chaos in an event witnessed by millions. However, watching a video of this event, the leader questions whether merely standing behind a news reporter, waving and shouting "hello mum" counts as an invasion.

DWM 496
During the events of The Husbands of River Song, the Doctor and River admire the Singing Towers of Darillium. The Doctor explains that the origin of the music is unknown, but it is likely related to the precise distance between the two towers. In reality, the cause of the music is shown to be the Second Doctor playing his recorder.

DWM 497
This instalment focuses on what would happen if the Twelfth Doctor chose an instrument other than the guitar. First off, he is shown playing a xylophone on a tank (resembling a scene in The Magician's Apprentice), merely making sounds of "plinkity plonk plink plonk". Next, he struggles to lift a harp out of the TARDIS. Finally, in the cafe with Clara (as seen in Hell Bent), the Doctor is playing his "Clara" song on a harmonica, an accordion and a large drum with cymbals. Clara asks for the song's title, but she cannot hear the Doctor's response over the loud music.

DWM 498
On a Dalek spaceship, a black Dalek announces a new strategy for the Doctor's extermination. As their past methods have been rather blatant, the Dalek suggests adapting the Zygon invasion style of stealth through infiltration. The Dalek's demonstration, however, is merely another Dalek in human clothes and a wig.

DWM 499
During The Night of the Doctor, the Eighth Doctor salutes his companions before drinking the Elixir of Life to regenerate. Strangely, his body is not altered, and the Doctor notes that the drink "tastes like chicken". Ohila realises that the Elixir was mixed up with Sister Ethel's cup-a-soup; indeed, a Sisterhood of Karn member (presumably Ethel) begins to glow in the process of regeneration.

DWM 500
This instalment, which is unusually a full page instead of three panels, tells the "secret history" of life before Doctor Who Magazine. It explains that Doctor Who fandom began on 23 November 1963, when Arnold Grimsbottom theorised that the policeman seen at the beginning of An Unearthly Child is in fact central to the show's plot. His brother disagreed with this idea, but Arnold nevertheless created the franchise's first fanzine, entitled "That Policeman in Episode One is the Main Character, I'm Sure of It!" However, the ink of his issue, printed using a Gestetner ink stencil printer, would take a while to dry.

A few weeks later, Mavis Tannersworth of Blackpool accidentally created the first Dalek cosplay outfit: specifically, she wore a skirt resembling a Dalek's bottom section and held a plunger and a whisk while cleaning her kitchen. Mavis talked of her new boyfriend Nate, claiming" "I'm so glad I went from my ex t'my Nate!" Meanwhile, the first Doctor Who comic appeared in Televisual Comic. However, it differed from the television series in several ways: the Doctor starred alongside his grandchildren, his best friend Sid, his neighbours Terry and June, and the TARDIS conducter Jack.

In 1965, the Cheapun Nastoy publishing company, inspired by the Dalek Annuals, launched a Menoptera Annual. However, the distributor's van broke down, and the books never reached the shops. In 1966, meanwhile, Doctor Who fans and Thunderbirds fans argued in a Brighton tea shop over who would have the last scone.

In 1971, the new comic Countdoon began publishing its first Doctor Who comic; however, some of the readership was disappointed that it did not focus on war, football and naughty schoolboys like other British comics. Later, Countdoon became TV Reaction and merged with Televisual Comic. At this point, times were hard; budget cuts and short amounts of working time resulted in inevitable reprints. Specifically, artists pasted drawings of the Fourth Doctor over Pink Panther strips, claiming that "the kids won't know the difference!"

Finally, in 1979, the ink on Arnold Grimsbottom's first fanzine issue is finally dry. He decides to announce the magazine as the first ongoing publication devoted to Doctor Who; however, a trip to the store reveals that Doctor Who Weekly has began. An angry Arnold claims, "It'll never last!"

DWM 501
A Silent preforms "The Galaxy's Greatest Mime Act," which appears to be well received: it is met with flowers and cheering. But the next day's newspaper describes the performance as "forgettable."

DWM 502
The Fourth Doctor dismisses Sarah Jane Smith's concerns about visiting an unknown planet, claiming that having a smile and a bag full of jelly babies will assure any natives that they mean well. However, the planet's residents turn out to be giant jelly babies horrified at the Doctor eating their kind.

DWM 503
The Daleks discuss the reasons for their hatred of the Doctor. He had thwarted many Dalek plans, and has destroyed countless Daleks... but most of all, the Daleks are jealous of the Doctor's stylish trousers.

DWM 504
A Cyber-Leader explains what Cybermen do well: making an entrance. Thanks to the element of surprise, they can bring fear by bursting out of honeycomb-type cells or emerging from graves. However, as a Cyberman emerges from a birthday cake saying "Ta-Daa!" another Cyberman questions whether the same degree of terror will be incited this time.

DWM 505
This strip explains that the success of the animated reconstruction of The Power of the Daleks causes the BBC to produce three new sequels: Power Shower of the Daleks (in which a Dalek shouts, "Invigorate!"), Power Tools of the Daleks (in which a Dalek exclaims, "Decorate!") and Power Cut of the Daleks (in which a Dalek asks, "Where are you, mate?")

DWM 506
This strip focuses on the various problems faced by the Second Doctor during his first moments. First, he notes that his ring is now too big for him, but as his trousers fall down, Ben remarks that this is the least of his worries. Next, as he exits the TARDIS, his huge stovepipe hat hits the roof of the door and falls off. Finally, he is told by the Beatles during recording of "The Fool on the Hill" that while he has the right hair, a recorder player is not necessary.

DWM 507
The Doctor notes that while he is sometimes lonely on Christmas, he enjoys the lack of family squabbles, preferring his own company. He is shown in a room filled with his past incarnations, most of whom are arguing, complaining, or being generally annoying.

DWM 509
This strip mentions some of the Doctor's famous relatives: his granddaughter Susan (who complains about the radio reception on Skaro) and his wife River (who makes the Doctor pay for their long stay in Darillium). It notes that one of the Doctor's family members is more frequently forgotten: his giddy aunt alluded to in the Second Doctor's infrequent catchphrase.

DWM 510
A group of fans discuss the possibility of a female Doctor. One fan in particular is disapproving of the idea, noting that any new Doctor will fail to beat his favourite. He recalls the days of Brian Donlevy playing the part, proving that he has not in fact seen Doctor Who.

DWM 511
The Daleks discuss the Doctor's return, pondering what they should do to exterminate him. They consider capturing his companions to lure him to Skaro and using Dalek technology to tear the TARDIS apart. However, a lone Dalek has misunderstood its superiors' expectations, and has instead set up a party celebrating the Doctor's return.

DWM 512
A cosplayer attends a convention dressed as the sentient oil avatar of Heather. This includes water being poured onto her, which ruins the hotel rug and consequentially gets her in trouble. She repeats the words of the angry staff member when he warns her of her disorderly conduct.

DWM 513
During the events of Thin Ice, Bill notices lights under the ice. The Doctor recognises this as representing "something truly terrifying" - an enchantment under the sea dance held by the Sea Devils.

DWM 514
This installment explains that 's attempt at redemption inspires other usually villainous beings to be constructive. The Daleks open a beauty salon, where they exclaim "Exfoliate!" while working. The Weeping Angels become the Laughing Angels, who give humans presents whenever they blink. The Ice Warriors become the Nice Warriors, who after invading Earth merely compliment and help out people.

DWM 515
In the arctic, the Twelfth Doctor regenerates in the snow. He slams his fists into the ground, saying that he will not change. Rising up, he discovers that he is surrounded by enemies (and his first incarnation) who are intended to roast marshmallows on him as he regenerates.

DWM 516
This installment begins with the teaser trailer for the Thirteenth Doctor's appearance, in which she stands in a field nearby the TARDIS. It continues with the moments which supposedly took place after the events of the trailer, in which a man angrily demands that she leave his land and stop stealing his apples.

DWM 517
The Daleks angrily complain about the Doctor's regeneration into a woman, denouncing it as "a Time Lord feminist agenda." They plan to combat this event with the "sexist Daleks," obese beer-guzzling Daleks which speak using very informal English.

DWM 518
This installment examines the adventures of the Meta-Crisis Tenth Doctor and Rose Tyler on Pete's World. They include "The Barbecue of Peril" in which the couple and their guests must run inside due to rainy weather; "Day of the Big Shop" in which they struggle in the supermarket with a wobbly-wheeled trolley; and "Death to D.I.Y." in which the Doctor fails to build a shelf. Seeing the Doctor's overreactions to all these mundane inconveniences, Rose reflects that she may have chosen the wrong world to stay in.

DWM 519
The President of the High Council of Time Lords announces that the Doctor has stolen a Type 40 TARDIS, and wishes to figure out how to react. However, the rest of the High Council is focused on other things the Doctor has stolen, including a candlestick, a hatstand, and an Edwardian outfit, sending the meeting into chaos.

DWM 520
This installment is entitled "Christmas with the Daleks!" and focuses on the Daleks' methods of celebrating the festivities. They sing Christmas carols including "Silent extermi-night!" to their victims while they are being killed, are disappointed by their holiday gifts, "carve" the turkey with their extermination rays, and react to the Doctor Who Christmas special by destroying the television.

DWM 522
On the planet Villengard, a group of Kaled mutants warns that it will fight back against Rusty and rebuild a new Dalek empire. Examining a few tattered Dalek shells with poor replacement parts, however, the acknowledge that this may take awhile.

DWM 523
A Sontaran reflects on the convenience of cloning, which allows for an efficient army that operates at a consistent skill level. Bu he considers the biggest perk to be the fact that it makes getting extra portions at the canteen easier, given that none of the Sontarans can be distinguished from each other.

DWM 524
Back on the planet Villengard, the Twelfth Doctor points out to the First Doctor that "an old friend" occupies a tower. While he points out the tower, the First Doctor rushes off to his TARDIS, landing on Totter's Lane where he sells stolen Dalek parts as "quality sink plungers."

DWM 525
This installment introduces the "Odd-Job Daleks," Daleks which perform various tasks: window cleaning which leads to a Dalek breaking a window with its plunger; garden clearing which results in a burning garden from a Dalek's flamethrower attachment; unblocking toilets, a task which disgusts a Dalek; and salesmanship which the Daleks achieve through threats.

DWM 526
This installment tells the story of the Fourth Doctor's scarf, which supposedly was so popular that it had its own contract. However, it became difficult to work with, and was consequently replaced with the less colorful scarf from the Fourth Doctor's later stories. It spent years struggling before finally gaining popularity again thanks to its "performance" with Osgood.

DWM 527
This installment explains how fan feuds took place prior to the internet. A fanzine writer and its reader angrily debate a Doctor Who thesis over the course of several months. A decade later, the argument continues to loom large, though the two men fail to remember what the disagreement was actually about.

DWM 528
A group of fans plan to infiltrate the Doctor Who crew in order to learn more about the upcoming series than has officially been released. The fan attempting to blend in does so with a shoddy TARDIS costume with a sticker announcing its authenticity, angering the other fans.

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DWM 544
In 1979, Dez Skinn meets with Stan Lee of Marvel and then Lionel Bluster-Outrage of Wayfleet Publications about creating a new Doctor Who comic. Lee wants to make it The Senses-Shattering Timelord, about an alien shapeshifter superhero, while Bluster-Outrage decides on Sergeant Who's Jelly Baby Adventures, a comic for preschoolers. Frustrated with their responses, Skinn puts together a dummy issue to present to the BBC. When finally announcing Doctor Who Weekly to the public at Comic-Con, audience members ask all the wrong questions about superpowers, the Hulk and the Avengers.

DWM 549
Two men are sitting and watching what one of them believes to be a new episode of Doctor Who. The taller man, dressed in a Tom Baker scarf and Sylvester McCoy hat, expresses his excitement over how much the latest season is really turning everything on its head. He elaborates on what he has seen so far: "The Doctor is missing and Graham is in charge of the TARDIS, there are no monsters or sci-fi tech and every episode is set on present-day Earth, and the TARDIS is stuck in the form of a Winnebago!" We see that the TV screen is, indeed, showing a Winnebago driving along a highway, and the shorter of the men says that they are actually watching Bradley Walsh & Son in Breaking Dad.

Characters

 * Thirteenth Doctor
 * Twelfth Doctor
 * Eleventh Doctor
 * Tenth Doctor
 * Ninth Doctor
 * Eighth Doctor
 * Seventh Doctor
 * Sixth Doctor
 * Fifth Doctor
 * Fourth Doctor
 * Third Doctor
 * Second Doctor
 * First Doctor
 * Meta-Crisis Tenth Doctor
 * Bill Potts
 * Nardole
 * Clara Oswald
 * Rose Tyler
 * Sarah Jane Smith
 * Ben Jackson
 * Polly Wright
 * Susan Foreman
 * Vastra
 * Jenny Flint
 * Strax
 * River Song
 * Osgood
 * Ohila
 * Daleks
 * Cybermen
 * Sontarans
 * Weeping Angels
 * Zygons
 * Zarbi
 * Silents
 * Sea Devils
 * Ice Warriors
 * Raxacoricofallapatorians
 * River Song
 * Davros
 * Lofty
 * Lofty's child