Beedlemania (short story)

Beedlemania was the tenth story in the Bernice Summerfield anthology A Life of Surprises. It was written by Nev Fountain.

Summary
When the ruins on Beedle are claimed by both the Knyy'ds and the Mystic Wizards, Benny is sent to Beedle. When she arrives, she is greeted by the Geramon ambassador, Demjely, who plays a practical joke on her by giving her an electrical shock when they shake hands. She meets Foogle, who is the assistant to the Arbiter in charge of the negotiations. As they leave the spaceport, a ship has arrived for Beedle's High Japester — bringing a supply of practical jokes.

The trouble starts with the ambassadors sent to claim the ruins. The Knyy'd ambassador, J'Kdy'nn, has broken the rule against weapons, and refuses to give up his sword for cultural reasons. The representative of the Mystic Wizards, the Great Alfredo, has smuggled a Smafma in to the negotiations.

The next day, the Arbiter goes missing. Foogle is worried, but Benny brushes it off. As she heads to her room after taking a shower, she sees the Smafma and follows her. The Smafma enters the Arbiter's ship, but Benny is attacked by several figures in camouflage.

When Benny awakes, Foogle informs her that the Arbiter is dead and the Knyy'ds never showed up for the negotiations. When the Great Alfredo is accused, he admits to stealing a game from the Arbiter's ship to use in distracting the Knyy'ds from the negotiations.

Meanwhile, Benny investigates and makes several deductions. The Knyy'ds attacked her so they could steal the ruins, but they discovered that the ruins are fake. When they tried to escape, they were distracted by the game. The Arbiter, meanwhile, died of heart failure when he sat on a whoopie cushion that was placed in his room by the High Japester. The High Japester faked the ruins to draw individuals from several planets to be the victims of his practical jokes.

The High Japester has escaped, but Demjely has placed a nuclear bomb on his ship. As it explodes, Demjely announces that he is now the High Japester.

Characters

 * Bernice Summerfield
 * Foogle
 * The Arbiter
 * J'Kdy'nn
 * Demjely
 * Great Alfredo
 * The High Japester

Continuity

 * Benny mentions that Ace didn't necessarily need Nitro-9 to make an impression. (TV: Dragonfire, Remembrance of the Daleks, Silver Nemesis and Battlefield)