Hospitality (short story)

Hospitality was the thirteenth and final short story in the anthology Iris: Abroad, written by Paul Magrs.

It featured the "lesbian novelist" incarnation of Iris Wildthyme, who is one of Iris Wildthyme's many equally true, first incarnations.

Plot
Raoul is gathering audience members for a TV series he works for, Glamorama, while his partner helps out.

Much later, Raoul's partner waits at Cleopatra's Needle, the meeting point for the audience members. A golden double decker bus arrives, and Raoul's partner and the audience climbs aboard.

The bus arrives in an industrial estate in Mile End, and Raoul's partner and the audience members make their was down to the studio. Ellen introduces herself to Raoul's partner, and she has lunch with the Lesbian Avengers.

Filming begins, and concludes temporarily for lunch. The guest star, a lesbian novelist called Iris, arrives, and Eliza strikes up a conversation with her.

Soon, Eliza, Ellen, and Raoul's partner order a taxi to Ellen's flat, singing on the way there. At Ellen's home, her flatmate Sabrina returns home from a holiday with her best mate, and Raoul's partner succumbs to the impulse to steal a souvenir. He then pretends to fall asleep on a settee.

Later, he finds a copy of The Nylon Jungle in the flat, which had been signed by Iris for Eliza, including Iris' phone number. Raoul's partner decides to dial the number, getting through to Iris. Raoul's partner tells Iris about his unhappy relationship with Raoul, and after Iris asks Raoul's partner if he likes Raoul as a friend, not just a lover; Raoul's partner realises that Iris is right, that he doesn't consider Raoul as a friend. He says goodbye to Iris, and he proceeds to climb out of the window, climbing down three balconies.

Wandering around the streets in the hope of making his way back to Kilburn High Street, Raoul's partner ask a a stranger for help. They begin walking together, and the man introduces himself as Tracey. Tracey had been the victim of his wallet being stolen, so Raoul's partner invites Tracey for breakfast as soon as he gets home.

Characters

 * Raoul's partner
 * Raoul
 * Raoul's boss
 * "Dumpy lady"
 * Ellen
 * Older man
 * Boy 1
 * Presenter
 * Eliza
 * Iris
 * Boy 2
 * Girl
 * "Greek-looking bloke"
 * Sabrina
 * Sabrina's friend
 * Tracey

People

 * Raoul is French.
 * Raoul's partner knows that Raoul has shagged at least twenty audience members.
 * The older man and his boy comment that Paul McGann from the new Doctor Who TV movie is sexy, and they'd want to shag him.
 * A group of gay boys check their tickets to make sure that the have free entry to Poptartz in Regent Street.
 * The presenter looks like a young Roy Castle.
 * Eliza is a member of the Lesbian Avengers. She also has a PhD.
 * Some audience members leave after they discover Bette Midler isn't at the studio.
 * Liza Minnelli was on Glamorama the previous week.

Locations

 * Raoul spends Saturday night in Peterborough, going into gay clubs and pubs, looking for people who would be willing to be part of the audience.
 * Raoul's partner visits Cleopatra's Needle, overlooking the Thames. He knows that This Morning is moving to here, from Albert Dock In Liverpool.
 * Mile End is located in South London.
 * Raoul's partner lives in Kilburn.
 * Ellen lives in Cricklewood.
 * Iris has a home in Camden.
 * Sabrina just returned from her holiday in Ibiza.
 * Tracey is from Los Angeles.

Food and drink

 * Raoul's partner bought a mixed salad from a Greek deli on Charing Cross Road.
 * The audience members are served Kestrel lager and quiche.
 * There are also bottles of Stella available to drink, and canapés to eat.
 * Raoul's partner eats chicken tikka in the studio.

Fashion and clothing

 * Iris wears an Army greatcoat.

Continuity

 * This incarnation of Iris Wildthyme was first mentioned in PROSE: The Blue Angel.