Faking It (short story)

Faking It was a short story written by Phil Marsh and published on the Iris Wildthyme Pages website. It was subsequently included in the charity anthology Bafflement & Devotion: Iris at the Edges in 2021. It used no unlicensed DWU elements and therefore, unlike some of the other stories in the publication, is considered valid.

This story does not feature Iris Wildthyme, her appearance in the story is an impersonation by the main character Erica Marshall.

Plot
Erica Marshall, a cleaner at a Train Station, starts her shift fifteen minutes late much to the annoyance of her boss, Rob. Other than that her shift goes as normal, she takes time to daydream over security guard Gary and is then invited out later that night by her friend and colleague Faking It. At lunch she heads to W H Smith and takes out several periodicals: UFO, Paranormal Times and Conspiracy of Silence, and begins to highlight articles of interest. She circles an article titled ''Killer Owl Attack! OAPS Menaced in Shopping Centre Sensation! and when she returns home she begins to research the event on her computer before recording it in two of her documents: Earth Chronology and Iris Chronology''. She debates which incarnation of Iris Wildthyme was involved in the incident, if Iris was involved at all, and considers whether it was the "beautiful blonde" or the "pensioner in a Russian Doll of cardigans". She ultimately records the information in a section titled Parallel/Alternate Universe/Unknown Iris.

She then receives an email from a fellow Iris fan, Rachel, who thanks Erica for informing her about the specific model of Iris' bus and invites her to an Unconvention down in London the following month. Erica is excited by the idea but wary of the cost. She then heads into a site called rec.arts.iris, a fansite focusing on Iris, where she looks to see if anyone else had posted about the article she had found. She finds a correspondence between the13thiris and redbusfanatic where they both share their suspicions regarding Iris' involvement. Erica phones Lucy and says she can't make it out later that night.

Lucy goes ahead alone and visits a Church where Iris, the blonde version, attends to answer a Q&A. The crowd listens intently as host Peter encourages Iris to recount her most recent adventure. She does so and explains how she arrived on the planet Patrixes, home to a crocodile-like race, and was taken prisoner by the Emperor Illias the Magnificent who was infatuated with her. She managed to escape after charming her guard, Vero, freed all the other slaves and put Vero in charge of the new democracy. After the event, Iris sneaks out the back door and is approached by a young lad who thanks her for everything she did for him as her stories pulled him from the brink of suicide.

Back at work the next day, Erica listens to Lucy's tale of the previous night and hides the fact that she has secretly been impersonating Iris. As Iris, Erica feels like a whole other person and it gives her the confidence she lacks in real life. She is approached by Gary who asks her out on a date only to cruelty reveal it to be a joke. She briefly considers donning her Iris persona to give her the confidence boost to challenge Gary and his friends, but ultimately decides against it.

Characters

 * Erica Marshall
 * Rob
 * Lucy
 * Gary
 * Evie
 * Young lad
 * Peter
 * Roy

Worldbuilding

 * The site rec.arts.iris has threads including: "Why the 4th Iris sucks", "Why the 4th Iris rules", "Which Iris is the sexiest?", "Which is your favourite Iris companion?" and "Who else thinks Iris is too good for the Doctor?".

Continuity
to be added